Kimble's Corner

Jack Kimble Suspends Presidential Campaign

2012-01-31T16:43:00.000-08:00

I just got off the phone with my Mitt Romney. Once again, he attempted to fire me and had to be assured that I wasn't on his payroll by several of his people. I congratulated Mitt and informed him, that we still had a long way to go. Unfortunately, I also got off the phone with my father who informed me that when a candidate's blood alcohol content is higher than his share of the vote, it's time to pull the plug.

I am disappointed to say the least--not so much with my dad as with the American people. You had a chance and you blew it. I represented a bold new future and you ignored me to support a candidate that makes John Kerry seem like a wild man. To the people of Florida, I say there's a reason people call you America's penis.

This week, I will do a little bit of soul searching and then I will announce my endorsement for President of these United States. I hope that this endorsement will lead to a cushy ambassadorship or maybe a cabinet spot. I think I would be an amazingly good Secretary of the Navy.

America, it has been a real honor to get to know you. Unfortunately, you won't have Jack Kimble to kick around anymore.

Congressman Kimble Investigates Islamic Caliphate in South Carolina

2012-01-12T16:25:00.000-08:00

I've been campaigning hard in South Carolina and I have definitely enjoyed the challenge of campaigning to African-Americans for the first time in my career. The number of black Republicans is small, but substantial and I've relied on everything that I learned from Michael Steele to reach out to them with an urban suburban vibe and good conservative values yo digity.

I had gotten some flack in New Hampshire, when a microphone I thought was off recorded me saying I would have no black people in my administration. Unfortunately, some of my opponents tried to use my statement out of context. I believe everybody who knew me understood that I meant people with black souls and what I said meant nothing about skin color.

On my first night campaigning, I became aware of what I believe is the first signs of a possibly sinister Muslim caliphate in South Carolina. I saw suspicious people putting these blue flags with a crescent moon and palm tree by the microphone I would be using to address a crowd in Myrtle Beach. I had my security chase them off and called in a bomb sweep that turned in nothing. Later, I cornered one of the people I saw with the flags and he tried to tell me they were state flags, but I know the South Carolina state flag and I'm pretty sure it is a variation on the old confederate stars and bars. I have since seen these blue crescent flags all around the state and they are extremely unsettling as are the reactions of the people here who walk past the flags as if nothing is out of order. If the Caliphate has infiltrated a conservative NASCAR loving state like South Carolina, we are in more trouble than I ever thought.

Evidence of Liberal Media Blackout of Jack Kimble

2012-01-08T12:37:00.000-08:00

Throughout his campaign, Jack Kimble has faced an uphill battle just getting his message out. In Iowa, they miscounted his votes, some media outlets have refused to count him as a major presidential candidate, and he was only invited to 4 of the many primary debates this year. Many of his supporters had begun to openly question whether there was some kind of conspiracy to quiet Jack Kimble's voice. The answer has now become clear thanks to a Twitter post from Huffington Post's Sam Stein (If that is his real name) to ABC's Jake Tapper.

Luckily for the American people, Mr. Stein forgot the cardinal rule of the internet and the smoking gun remains on Twitter. It was actually Jack Kimble himself who found the hurtful tweet while participating via Twitter in last night's New Hampshire debate. At one point Jake Tapper retweeted a comment that the Congressman made about the absurdly high tax rate that American businesses are paying. In the picture to the left, you can see Mr. Stein's tweet. I have taken the liberty of blacking out the link he made to a hateful Washington Post piece on Congressman Kimble.

Evidence of a corporate media blackout on Kimble, gives pause to any American who is thinking of voting for another candidate. If the lamestream media is actively pushing Mitt Romney and other candidates, why are they so supportive of Congressman Kimble? Is is because he is the only Republican candidate with a legitimate shot to defeat Barrack Obama in November?

Iowa, It's Up to You Now

2012-01-02T20:35:00.000-08:00

Iowa, it's up to you now. I've done my best job of crisscrossing your state and letting you know about why I'm the right choice for the job of President. Now, it's up to you not to blow it. Iowa's caucuses strike me as uniquely Iowan - the idea that you can spend several hours advocating for a candidate only to switch to a second choice to shut up the 4 people who keep talking about spy satellites and the fluoride in the drinking water.

I want every Iowan to have the opportunity to take this opportunity to decide for themselves who they want to run the country for the next four years, but I also encourage everybody in this great state to reflect on my recent endorsement by God himself in this race. It certainly puts your mind at ease when you know you are on a mission from God.

Our campaign headquarters is at the historic Hotel Fort Des Moines where win or lose, we will be having a big party tomorrow night. It is truly amazing to feel all the history in the air at this hotel. Walter Mondale kicked off his 1980 campaign here and George HW Bush stayed here during his 88 run. The hotel hosted important speeches by Nikita Kruschev shortly before he was deposed as well as American Vice-President Spiro Agnew. In fact, Woodrow Wilson gave his big speech on the 14 points here. Even Charles Lindbergh stayed here shortly after the birth of his baby boy. I hope that my campaign will add to this hotel's wonderful history.

This is crunch time. Please urge your friends to get out to the polls and campaign hard for us. Make sure everybody is aware of just what a great deal my 8-8-8 plan is. I expect tonight to be a real celebration for me. Frankly, I deserve it.

Jack Kimble Lands Game Changing Endorsement in Iowa

2012-01-01T13:32:00.000-08:00

In this day and age, it's hard to call any endorsement a game changer, but the Kimble Campaign picked up about the biggest possible endorsement this week in Iowa when God the Almighty appeared to Jack Kimble and threw his support behind him in the Iowa Caucuses. God explained his support for Jack as being based on good old fashioned conservative family values and the 8-8-8 tax plan that Kimble has been championing. The Almighty told Congressman Kimble that he would have taken a hand in the campaign earlier, but had been busy establishing Tim Tebow as an NFL starting quarterback.

"Of course we look at this as a game changer," said Kimble, "God's endorsement is one that all of us have been hoping for. I know both Rick Santorum and Michele Bachmann have been courting his support heavily and the fact he went with me says something about my plan to cut taxes and get the job creators going again as well as my call for old fashioned Christian values."

Glendale Valley School Board Fires Principal Kerrigan

2011-12-11T09:55:00.000-08:00

The fallout over a rude question by a Glendale Valley student at a townhall event for student journalists by presidential candidate and Congressman Jack Kimble (CA-54) has resulted in the termination of Glendale Valley High School principal Jerry Kerrigan. The school board voted last night to remove the school's principal for the last 18 years by a 7-2 vote.

At a November 23rd event at the Congressman's Rancho Podrido office, 18 year old Ryan Cruz of Glendale Valley asked the Congressman, "If you manage to pull out the election with your conservative social views, do you think you will have a man date?"

Congressman Kimble was clearly taken off guard by the inappropriate question and after chiding he student for degrading the dignity of the event by asking such a question then had the student removed from the event. In a statement later that day Jack Kimble said, "It is a real shame to see the moral decline of our youth. I have prided myself on my work with Last Stand for Children First to improve education across the country. Today, I have decided to redouble my efforts. A student does not become that perverted on their own. I place a lot of the blame on the school and I will be asking them to discipline Mister Cruz to the full extent of their ability."

Principal Kerrigan claimed the entire incident was a misunderstanding, saying a mandate was "something every politician wanted." He further refused to suspend the student in question who he called a "fine young man."

The school board was quick in their reaction, Board President Susan Olmeier called the vulgar question "an embarrassment to our school and an affront to our heterosexual abstinence only sex education program as well as a stain on the character of our school."

[Reprinted from the Oakdale Value Shopper with permission]

Congressman Kimble Protects Americans with Patti's Law

2011-12-07T20:07:00.000-08:00

Protecting our nation has been a priority of Jack Kimble since his election to Congress in 2006. With terrorism threatening to bring America to it's knees at any moment, Jack Kimble has team with South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham, which will change the treatment of terrorism suspects and suspected terrorism suspects by declaring the entire country a battlefield.

"Both Senator Graham and myself deeply love this country. It is a well known fact that love is a battlefield. Therefore, it is only logical that the country become a battlefield. For the average American, they will notice very little change, but for those considering terrorist acts against us, they will take notice. As a nation, we are young, but we are also strong. Our cause is just and we stand as a beacon of freedom. No one can tell us we're wrong. Patti's Law will protect our citizens from the scourge of terrorism and I will be urging my colleagues on both sides of the aisle to pass it. We are open to all concerns, but we will make no promises nor will we accept any demands."

Currently, Patti's Law or SB 867 as it is now known, has cleared the Senate, but needs to pass the House in order to reach the President's desk. Please call your Representative and let him know you support Patti's Law.

My Thanksgiving Memories

2011-11-21T18:49:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving was always a special time for my family when I was growing up. My father worked very hard to give us an upper middle class lifestyle, but he never wanted us to forget the type of poverty that his father used to pretend he came from.

On Thanksgiving, we didn’t have a fancy feast. We used to go down to the local kitchen where we would see those much less fortunate than ourselves and we would stand in line to eat their simple fair. It wasn’t fancy, but you could see that for some of these people it was the only real food they’d get that day and maybe that week. My dad taught us not to complain as we sat at the folding tables and dined with these poor and simple folk. My dad would give them colorful nicknames like “Harmonica Bob” or “Crazy Cat Lady” or “Black Comb Head”

At first my sister and I were frightened by the odd people around us. I remember one year we sat across from a guy who was having a very loud argument with himself. Instinctively my sister and I recoiled, but my father taught us we didn’t need to be afraid of the man because he was one of God’s children too and it was alright for us to laugh at him. My dad would even offer his piece of pumpkin pie to the person who did the best trick for us. Sometimes we’d get thrown out, but mostly we just sat there enjoying Thanksgiving as a family forgetting how much money we had in our Cape Cod in that exclusive neighborhood where we lived.

We’d be home by 7PM and my parents would tell us we should go right to bed and think about the people we had met. They’d remind us that if the Democrats got elected we could all be living in a homeless shelter for real and then we’d be asleep by 7:30. It was only by accident that I later discovered that when my sister and I were asleep, mom and dad would go out to a very nice restaurant and have an elegant Thanksgiving dinner together.

I had wanted to keep this tradition alive with my own daughter Ayn, but my wife would have none of it. She insisted that we have a traditional Thanksgiving dinner like families do. Though calling us a family was certainly a stretch. After all, in a family one of the spouses isn’t flirting with the neighbor across the street while the other spouse is working in Washington to do the people's business. Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving from the Kimble family such that it is to your family.

Jack Kimble's Veteran's Day Message

2011-11-11T09:55:00.000-08:00

Today, millions of Americans were off from work because of Veterans Day, but I wonder how many really thought about why they were off. Veterans Day is a day to think about those brave few who gave so much for this country. I do this in the way I have since I was a small child, by watching war movies. Nothing says “thank you” to our country’s veterans like watching their exploits dramatized on ...cable television. One of my regrets in life is that I was unable to serve in the military. Unfortunately for me, my family was well off and I really had no option other than college, but I like to think I would have been a great soldier. The American fighting man is the best in the world and we do them a grave disservice when we don’t use them. To our veterans who served when their country needed them, I thank you. I am not a soldier, but I have been wounded in our cultural war and I continue to try and fight the good fight. Isn’t that what Veterans Day is all about?

New Prosperity for Americans Ad

2011-11-10T19:39:00.000-08:00

Jack Kimble's Speech Reannouncing his Campaign for President

2011-10-31T19:39:00.000-07:00

Ronald Reagan once said, “Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan "press on" has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race”

Today I find myself at the precipice. Since I announced my candidacy in April, I have been able to meet many great people across this country. From the oil executive from Texas who just wanted government regulation out of his way so he could provide the oil to fuel the economy, to a gay man married to a member of Congress from Minnesota who counsels other gay men to avoid sin and temptation, to everyday folks who just want the economy to work for them again.

My campaign has floundered at times, but now that you've had a chance to look at my opponents, I hope you'll give me another look. I hope that by reannouncing, I'll give you a chance to take a fresh look at me. As a member of Congress for the past 6 years, I've dealt with important legislation. Just this week, we'll be voting on keeping In God We Trust (or E Pluribus Unum in Latin) as our national motto. Coming to grips with issues like this has left me uniquely poised to assume the mantle of government.

Please, visit www.kimble2012.com and look at my 888 plan. It makes Herman Cain's 9-9-9 plan look like Obama style socialism. I believe the best way to get America back to work is to get rid of the regulations strangling our businesses and let the banks go back to making wealth for us all.

I have heard your call American and much like when a parent hears a crying baby in the middle of the night, they can only ignore it for so long. I am coming and I will make everything alright. God bless and stay free America!

Congressman Kimble's Address to Value Voter's Summit

2011-10-10T14:36:00.000-07:00

I am honored to be here speaking today before such a respected and well known organization. I will keep my comments brief, but as this is Columbus Day Weekend, I thought it most appropriate today to talk about Christopher Columbus.

Way back in 1492, there was no cable, no video games, no Ipods. What people used to get through their day was faith. It was this faith that lead Christopher Columbus to discover America so that we might all worship God as we saw fit. Columbus was a great hero, but I wonder what he'd say if he was alive today.

Would Columbus recognize America today. How would he react to seeing a country he worked so hard to discover becoming completely overrun with illegal aliens? What would he feel about Americans having to learn Spanish just to be able to communicate? If Columbus knew these things would he even bother to sail across the Ocean to come here?

In the name of Columbus, we must take back our country. We can begin doing it in November by voting for politicians who have zero tolerance for the tide of illegal immigration that threatens us so. Let's return this country to the way it should be. Let's make this country one that Christopher Columbus would recognize.

Make no mistake about it. The topic of Columbus Day has become controversial because of a radical atheistic movement to strike Christ from Columbus Day, but we will not; we cannot let them win. Did you know that Columbus Day Weekend is the most holy weekend in the entire Jewish calendar? I heard it on the way over here. Jews remember just what Columbus did for them and we should do the same.

God watches what we do and even little symbols mean a lot. I listened earlier as Douglas Fischer pointed out that singing God Bless America at ballgames had protected us from terrorism. There are no facts to back this up, but my faith tells me it's true, just as my faith tells me that telling people God Bless You when they sneeze has protected us from another Smallpox outbreak.

The tiny things we do have big consequences. Gay marriage threatens our country unlike any other time in our history. Homosexuals point to young children of 2 or 3 who are clearly gay to show that homosexuality isn't a choice, but I say that homosexuality is to dangerous a choice to be left to 2 and 3 year olds. We must move now to forever ban marriage. I am in awe of the state of Alabama who has created a Constitutional Amendment banning gay marriage, but has not infringed on anyone's time honored right in that state to marry their 14 year old first cousin. We must show that same courage. God bless you and God bless the United States of America.

Congressman Jack Kimble on Empowering Parents Through Quality Charter Schools Act

2011-09-14T19:56:00.000-07:00

[Reprinted from the Last Stand for Children First Blog]

Earlier today, I came off the campaign trail to sign important providing education choice for millions of parents across the country. Charter schools are the wave of the future in this country by providing the selectivity of private schools, but doing it at tax payer expense. Charter schools are freed up of the bureaucratic nightmare of environmental and fiscal regulation and aren't required to grant their teachers due process as a result fully 17% of charter schools perform better than public schools and some of them have become multi-million job creators.

One of the greatest things about charter school supporters like hedge fund operator Whitney Tilson is that they don't limit their contributions to one political party. It's not unusual to be at a pro-charter cocktail party and find liberals like Jared Polis socializing with strict conservatives like myself. It's this spirit of putting children first across party boundaries is one of the reasons that this bill had such huge bipartisan support. Of course, a lot of wining and dining on vintage wine and one and a half pound lobsters stuffed with one pound lobsters didn't hurt.

Charters have been under an increasing microscope lately after test scores in Chicago and Los Angeles both showed them as doing considerably worse than the neighborhood schools so hopefully this extra cash will help them to put the nasty press behind them. Above all, this act was for the kids. It isn't so much choosing a better alternative as much as it is providing a choice and isn't that really what we all want. While charters will take money away from neighborhood schools, that may enable 20 or even 25% of charter schools to start outperforming neighborhood students and isn't that something we can all get behind, even if we're not getting a large check to cover our campaign expenses?

[If you care about children please visit www.laststand4children.org]

Congressman Kimble's Historic Path Forward Speech

2011-09-06T17:10:00.000-07:00

At this year's Heritage Valley Corn Dog Festival, Congressman Jack Kimble outlined his path forward for this country before Picture This took the stage. While Picture This is America's best Huey Lewis and the News Tribute Band, it was truly Jack Kimble who connected with the audience on that night.

I have built my Presidential campaign around moving American into the 21st Century, while retaining the strength it showed in the 20th century and the morality it showed in the 18th Century. However, in this chapter, I offer a way for our country to move forward freely given to all candidates regardless of political party. While these ideas may sound like a stump speech or State of the Union address, they are in fact good common sense conservative solutions to the many issues that plague us from our place in the world to the strength of the economy.

In the previous chapter I laid out some pretty grim information on the sorry state of our country. The good news is that it doesn't have to be that way. There is a way forward and that way is being embraced by conservatives all across this country. From the board rooms of Fortune 500 companies to the tea party activists assembled in peaceful protest, America is crying out for new leadership in this time of crisis and turmoil. In Congress as well as in my run for the White House, I am pleased to answer their call.

The first thing we need to do to get this country back on the road to recovery is to put it back to work. An active and vibrant workforce is the lifeblood of our economy and it is the can do spirit of the American worker that has always driven America forward. That's why I've proposed H.R. 929 which would extend full employment rights to all citizens regardless of age. I do not have to tell you that many Americans under the age of 18 are wasting their lives playing video games when they could be helping their families pay the bills and learning a valuable trade. Unfortunately, employers are barred from hiring qualified children due to antiquated work rules that prohibit child labor. Every year America imports #*R#U(#@@$ worth of goods from countries that use child labor. Those goods should be made by American children.

As I have traveled across this great big country of ours campaigning, I have met many job creators who tell me the same heartbreaking stories of wanting to employ children, but being treated like criminals for even attempting to do it. In a previous chapter, I mentioned a great restaurant that I love to go to with my friends from the oil industry. It just so happens that the owner of that restaurant, Gerard, is a friend of mine. Gerard found out years ago that when it comes to declawing a lobster, nobody has the small hands and manual dexterity that the job requires like small children do. He has tried to work with parents and school districts, but he is constantly handcuffed both literally and figuratively because of child labor laws.

Let's face it, not every child is cut out for academic rigor. Even in the best neighborhoods school can be a waste of time for some children. What better way to accommodate the needs of every child than by allowing them all the option to work for a living. Extending full employment rights to all Americans is common sense and it should be the law regardless of the age of the employee.

In addition to helping the very young, I am drawn to the plight of the elderly as well. There is nothing more tragic than when the state teams up with a senior citizens own family to deprive him of the right to drive his automobile. For many of these seniors, they've been driving for 60 or 70 years. Now, just because they don't see too well or their reaction time is slow or their decision making has gotten a bit fuzzy, they're supposed to surrender their drivers licenses. This is one of America's greatest shames.

H.R. 2781 would eliminate all driving tests for senior citizens who already have a license. It is a bill whose time has come and I am very proud to be its sponsor. If we can pass this important legislation, seniors will once again be able to drive to their job at Walmart, to play bridge, or to visit their grandchildren in peace. I know that I speak for many seniors when I say, "you can have my driver's license when you can pull it from my cold dead hand."

We must not only improve the economy through job growth, real recovery will require us to end the problem of repossession and foreclosure. Throughout this country, there are thousands of vacant homes, which are a magnet for crime, vandalism, and other urban blight. To move forward we must eradicate these pockets of blight. To do that, we must work with state and municipal zoning boards to take areas with large numbers of vacant and abandoned homes and rezone them for commercial development. Give me any 3 abandoned homes and I'll replace them with strip mall containing a currency exchange, a Seven-Eleven, and an insurance broker. This is progress and this is what makes America great.

Businesses will not expand until they are free from the tyranny of the ban on incandescent bulbs. As Michele Bachmann is fond of saying, "Thomas Jefferson did a pretty patriotic thing for this country when he invented the light bulb." I couldn't agree more. What Jefferson did was to help propel Americans into the 19th century, a time of wonder and electric lighting. It is criminal for the government to renege on this promise of science. In a survey conducted by Osram Sylvania, they discovered that many Americans are worried about the end of incandescent light and 13% of Americans said they would horde the light bulbs.

It is death by 1000 paper cuts and needless government regulation such as the light bulb ban that has American business reeling. To save American business we must reduce regulation and red tape wherever possible. When businesses have to close, they create a blight on our nation's economy. Nobody wants to move into that pizza parlor that has gone through 8 owners in 6 years because it keeps shutting down.

I propose that we work with zoning boards to take these vacant business properties and replace them with single family housing. The American dream is home ownership and nothing will help Americans to pursue this dream more than an increase in the number of homes for sale. Supply and demand and the invisible hand of the free market, will make this piece of the American dream just a bit closer to reality by rezoning failed commercial property into thriving single family homes. The statistics on what home ownership does are overwhelming. People who own their own homes are much more likely to take care of them than renters are.

The middle east continues to change at an alarming rate. Revolutions in the region have overthrown the governments of Tunisia, Egypt, Lybia, and at the time of this writing potentially Syria. It almost makes our wars in Afghanistan and Iraq seem expensive, futile, and even a little counterproductive. However, I believe an aggressive United States foreign policy is a good United States foreign policy. There are several middle eastern countries that are not currently in the midst of revolution. Iran comes to mind. We need to get in there and overthrow these governments before their own people stage an uprising and get all the credit for it. I have no doubt that if we pick an unpopular enough government, we will not only not have a guerilla war waged against us, but we will be greeted as liberators.

The reason that George Bush was willing to be aggressive in his foreign policy while President Obama seems content to sit on the sidelines is that George Bush was a man of faith. He knew that if weapons of mass destruction weren't found in Iraq, God would give him another reason why we should be there. This faith is something we have lost in this country.

Our country was founded by deeply religious men like George Washington, Thomas Paine, and James Madison. Their faith moved them to leave England on the Mayflower so that they could worship in peace in the United States. Over the years, we have lost this faith in a big steaming pile of tolerance and multi-culturalism. If Middle Easterners want to come here that's fine, but they should do so as Christians. You don't see Americans going oversees and trying to impose our lifestyle on other countries.

Until we return to our religious roots, I fear that this country will remain headed in the wrong direction. When you think of it, God is the ultimate free market capitalist. He was the first deity to give his followers free will so that they could profit from their success or be punished for their failure. In fact, what is God's love, but the ultimate in trickle down economics?

I'll let you in on a little secret. I like to think of the invisible hand of the free market as being an actual invisible hand that belongs to the Holy Spirit. When God sees that things are off balance, he steps forward to bless us with precious balance. I have no doubt that God moves through capitalistic forces and I have America's continued prosperity as proof. It isn't that I don't think God loves socialists, it's simply that I think he finds it much easier to take care of capitalists as we have a system already in place that doesn't look to the state for help, but looks to God instead. We must not lose that. I am sure that a few centuries from now our great job creators will become Saints. It'd be nice if the Pope would also remember those of us who worked in Washington to keep a pro-business environment in this country.

Short Bus Tour Day #8 Tampico, IL

2011-08-16T20:18:00.001-07:00

It appears that our road trip will be cut a bit short since I need to be back home for Heritage Valley Corn Dog Festival on Friday. We were originally going to try to make it out to Concord, New Hampshire, but it turns out I made the same mistake I made with Lexington, Kentucky. You would think they would publicize that both Lexington and Concord are in Massachusetts. I figure that like Sarah Palin did, I can always resume my vacation later on.

We stopped at Tampico, IL where Ronald Reagan went to Sunday School. It's the type of town that could produce great men with 800 people who call this small town home and while they might not cotton to strangers, they have amazing pie. I am really looking forward to hearing the results of the Wisconin recall elections tonight. I have a feeling we're picking up two formerly Democrat seats.

Short Bus Tour Day #7: Waterloo, Iowa

2011-08-15T06:30:00.000-07:00

I have seen political theatre in my time, but what I witnessed from Michele and Dr. Bachmann in Waterloo, Iowa may have been the most amazing thing I have ever seen. They were a few minutes late in arriving and the crow was growing antsy. The band had been warming them up with a selection of country hits for the Lee Greenwood crowd, when suddenly everybody saw the Bachmann's bus pull up and the crowd let out a mighty roar, followed by...nothing.

Suddenly, the bad begins playing a riff and Michele Bachmann exits the bus smiling and waving at the crowd. She is wearing this ridiculously short white dress that looks very unacceptable for the campaign trail. Then we see another woman with long blonde hair rush out of the bus behind her. Except, this was no woman, but rather Michele's husband Dr. Marcus Bachmann. Suddenly, the riff that the band has been playing becomes obvious as the band shifts into playing Waterloo by Abba to thunderous applause.

For the next 4 minutes Michele and Dr. Bachmann gave the kind of magical performance that I had only previously seen from Ronald Reagan. They not only knew all the words to the song, they knew all the dance moves and they were in key. It was like stepping back in time to the 70s and seeing the real Abba perform and the audience just ate it up. When Michele began talking about conservative family values she already had the crowd eating out of the palm of her hand. I was just glad I didn't have to go on after her.

Short Bus Tour Days #5 & #6: Iowa State Fair

2011-08-14T19:13:00.001-07:00

Unfortunately, campaign business intruded on our family vacation, but Ayn was a real trooper as we drove all night through what Ayn calls "America's glorious Heartland" to arrive at the Iowa State Fair in Ames, Iowa. I met with our many great Iowa volunteers and saw the area that they had nicknamed Kimblepalooza. We were greeted by many enthusiastic supporters and saw a lot of jealous Tim Pawlenty volunteers when Ventura Highway, California's best America Cover Band started playing.

I actually was lucky enough to have a chance to talk with Tim Pawlenty. We had a rare chance to let our hair down.

"Jack", he told me, "I'm not sure about this. I've put a lot into those commercials, but I'm just not generating the excitement I wanted."

"I don't know Tim," I said, "I get the idea that you're not really excited about this either."

"Maybe not," he said, "I look at Crazy Eyes Bachmann and I wonder if I'm in the wrong business."

"Don't knock her," I said, "Did you try the petit fours that Dr. Bachmann made?"

"To die for," Tim said, "I think she's going to win just on the line for his pastries. I don't know how you do it Jack. I think I'm about done."

I may have remembered a word wrong here or there, but that was the gist of our conversation. Sure enough, thanks to Dr. Bachmann's culinary skills and tasteful decoration of the campaign tent, Michelle did win the straw poll, while Tim Pawlenty announced he was withdrawing from the campaign. I can't say I was surprised.

Ventura Highway was great, but we weren't thrilled with our performance. A top ten performance was something to build on and we're not out of it by any stretch, but this just puts more pressure on us to do well in the early primaries.

Polls Declare Kimble Winner of Iowa Debate

2011-08-12T18:05:00.000-07:00

[Reprinted from the Oakdale Value Shopper with permission]

54th District Congressman Jack Kimble was the clear winner of last night's Republican Presidential Debate in Ames, Iowa despite not being on stage.. Kimble, who has emerged as a tireless champion of conservative family values, capitalism, and plutocracy is a long shot for the nomination, but that didn't stop him from being the debate's big winner according to overnight tracking polls that showed 76% of viewers felt Kimble was the winner, with 14% preferring Newt Gingrich, and Tim Pawlenty tied for a distant third with Ron Paul at 2%.

Because of the debt ceiling crisis Congressman Kimble was forced to postpone a family bus trip with his daughter Ayn. When negotiations between the Kimble campaign and Fox News for a satellite link broke down, Kimble decided to participate from the comfort of his own bus. He responded to the debate questions in real time and was followed by an audience of thousands on Twitter through hash tag #GOPDebate.

"He was the most pro-life candidate that's for sure," said Helen Douglass proudly sporting a Kimble pin, "he is not only against abortion, but birth control including the rhythm method and sex with non-ovulating women as well."

Twitter user @Warnersl was particularly impressed with Jack Kimble's plan for the economy, even though he never quite got around to revealing it. She started the hashtag #Jackhasaplane after Kimble declared, "Thank you Brett. I am glad you asked me about my plan. I have a plan. Oh believe me I have a plan. Don't you ring that f-ing bell, not til I get to give my plan."

Kimble's strategy was risky. When a moderator asked about the dangers of denigrating other religions, Kimble didn't back off and in fact seemed to double down stating, "I'm going after the Mennonites next."

Mike Flannigan on the Welcome Back to Pottersville Blog echoed the many accolades that Kimble had received following the debate saying, "Meanwhile, presidential aspirant Congressman Jack Kimble (CA-54) silently took part in the debate through his Twitter account and actually made more sense than everyone put together."

Clearly, Jack Kimble had a lot to lose in this debate. Despite large and enthusiastic crowds on his Short Bus Tour, the odds are stacked against him. It's very difficult for a member of the House of Representatives to rise to President and he's not considered a front runner. However, strong showings in both New Hampshire and Iowa debates may may undecided voters stand up and take notice of Kimble who has been making an effort to smile more while campaigning.

[The Oakdale Value Shopper is owned by Joseph Kimble who is also Congressman Kimble's father]

The Oakdale Value Shopper is owned by Jack Kimble's father Joe Kimble.

Short Bus Tour Day #4: Canton, OH

2011-08-11T15:16:00.000-07:00

It had been my fondest wish to take my daughter to see the Hoover Vacuum Cleaner Museum in Canton, OH and possibly visit the McKinley Memorial. Unfortunately, media types had learned that I was on this bus tour. No sooner did we disembark from the bus for some family time then we were ganged up on by reporters. Fortunately, some of my supporters were able to hastily find a giant American flag and produce a lectern and microphone for me to give a brief press conference. I looked at little Ayn expected to see tears or at least disappointment, but she just looked up at me with her big eyes and said, "all these people came to see you daddy. Give a great speech." She is a born campaigner that girl of mine.

Canton went great. We are clearly winning the hearts and minds of voters in Ohio. Unfortunately, it wasn't until we left the Vacuum Cleaner Museum, that I learned the NFL Hall of Fame is also in Canton. Maybe next time I'll get to see that too.

Just a reminder, tonight is the FOX News GOP primary debate from Iowa. I didn't have the heart to cut Ayn's road trip short, but I will be tweeting my answers for tonight's debate questions live from our tour bus. We have arranged for a local hotel to let us plug in our modem cord into their internet. I hope to see you all tonight for the debate.

Day 3 of Short Bus Tour - Cincinnati and Marion

2011-08-10T14:15:00.000-07:00

Cincinnati was named after a great Roman leader. I'm not sure of his name, but I believe it may have been Julius Caesar. It's long been a Republican stronghold in Ohio and it has a fine tradition of producing our country's greatest Presidents. Today, I saw the homes of both William Howard Taft and Warren Gamera Harding.

Taft was a giant above men who served his country admirably after his Presidential days as a Supreme Court Justice. I think it would be wonderful if the next President would appoint former President Bush to just such a post. The man has amazing judicial temperament and nothing seems to bother him.

The highlight of the trip for me was standing on Harding's front porch where he gave over 100 speeches in one of the most successful front porch campaigns in our country's history. He presided over a time of great prosperity thanks to his ability to shrink the government. Current leaders could learn a lot from this great man who was taken from us far too soon.

I will be participating in tomorrow's Iowa GOP debate via twitter. I was unwilling to cut my family vacation short for politics and I was unable to coordinate a live video feed, so twitter is the next best thing. While I would love to face my opponents, polls taken after the New Hampshire debate showed me winning the debate 71% to 20% for Ron Paul and 3% for Mitt Romney. You can follow me at @Repjackkimble on Twitter.

Short Bus Tour Day #2: Petersburg, Kentucky

2011-08-09T13:25:00.000-07:00

We made the short trip from Lexington to Petersburg, Kentucky this morning. The drive took two hours down I-275 West. It was a shame we were on a tight schedule because I find Kentucky just a great place to meet real Americans who more than make up for what they lack in dental care with a pioneer spirit and can do attitude.

Ayn was excited to get to the museum to see the dinosaurs and she was truly captivated with the stories of children playing with the creatures in ancient Israel. I know she wanted to have a pet dinosaur of her own.

I always love to include some education on any family vacation just like my dad did and it was clear that Ayn learned a lot. She had no idea that the Earth was 6,000 years old. She had thought that the Earth was closer to four billion years old. We had a good laugh at that. It's amazing what some people will tell children.

What I found really touching was that after we left the museum, I asked Ayn what her favorite part was and she said she loved learning about how chameleons change color to show their mood and to talk with one another. We bid a fond farewell to Kentucky and are slow, dimwitted, lumbering friends as tonight we head to Cincinnati and President Taft's home.

Kimble Short Bus Tour Kicks Off In Lexington, KY

2011-08-08T18:23:00.000-07:00

Staying in Washington long enough to insure that the Democrats promised to cut the budget and not raise taxes was very difficult for me because it meant delaying getting to know little Ayn Reagan Kimble. Since adopting her, she has been a dynamo in the campaign office for me, but unfortunately Washington business doesn't wait for families. With a budget deal finally reaching and our economy secure, we were ready for a road trip.

We began last week at Texas Governor Rick Perry's Day of Prayer. Ayn told me she learned a lot and hadn't realized just how vengeful and vindictive God can be with sinner. She made up her mind to stay on the straight and narrow from here on out.

This morning began on a bit of a down note as we spent most of the morning trying to find a monument to the first shots of the American Revolution, but nobody knew what we were talking about. We finally met a nice older woman named Elise who explained that it wasn't Lexington, Kentucky, but instead Lexington, Massachusetts that kicked off our war for independence. Oh well, with Concord, New Hampshire approaching soon on the itinerary at least it will be a great chance to teach Ayn about the Revolution.

I did give a short speech today on why our independence was so important and how England's socialized medicine had caused rioting. It was very well received. I hope that it is the start of a wonderful vacation for my daughter and me. It's wonderful to step off the campaign roller coaster and get to know her.

Transcript of First Ever Twitter Town Hall

2011-07-12T17:44:00.000-07:00

Here is the log of our historic first ever Twitter Town Hall. To make sense of it, read it from the bottom going up.

RepJackKimble

Goodnight. Stay free America!! #Idontknowjack 5 minutes ago via TweetDeck
DirkThunderstne

Goodnight America. This has been Congressman Kimble and Fox Action 15's Dirk Thunderstone #Idontknowjack 5 minutes ago via web
RepJackKimble

Thank you Dirk, Twitterers, I am sure we will have a transcript of this town hall up on our campaign site #Idontknowjack 6 minutes ago via TweetDeck
DirkThunderstne

OK thank you for your time Congressman. #Idontknowjack 7 minutes ago via web
RepJackKimble

We said a half hour. If people want to know more they can read the campaign material #Idontknowjack 8 minutes ago via TweetDeck
DirkThunderstne

By my clock, we're past time.We've got about 4 questions would you mind going over by a few minutes so we can hear everybody #Idontknowjack 9 minutes ago via web
RepJackKimble

Getting the word out on this campaign would be huge before Iowa and New Hampshire #Idontknowjack 10 minutes ago via TweetDeck
RepJackKimble

However, go over to www.kimble2012.com you can find a link to my campaign shop. Pick up a t-shirt, button, or yard sign #Idontknowjack 10 minutes ago via TweetDeck
RepJackKimble

At this time, between oil companies, my father, and the Koch Brothers I don't really need small contributions from people. #Idontknowjack 11 minutes ago via TweetDeck
RepJackKimble

First let me begin by saying that @Joejimble is a very handsome man. As you may know I'm not asking for campaign donations+ #Idontknowjack 12 minutes ago via TweetDeck
DirkThunderstne

+ What can we do for you? #Idontknowjack 13 minutes ago via web
DirkThunderstne

@Joejimble asks You are the embodiment of everything we admired about Ronald Reagan and our country's greatest hope + #Idontknowjack 13 minutes ago via web
RepJackKimble

I believe I can get you the most money they fastest from his estate #Idontknowjack 14 minutes ago via TweetDeck
RepJackKimble

Not only don't know I believe in inheritance tax, I'm also pushing hard to kill medicare. #Idontknowjack 14 minutes ago via TweetDeck
DirkThunderstne

@fakecomedian writes @RepJackKimble My father is extremely old and sickly. What are feelings about inheritance taxes? #Idontknowjack 15 minutes ago via web
DirkThunderstne

@Oneleggedsandpiper asks What do you fear more, a dem with 10K signatures on a petition or a republican with a wide stance? #Idontknowjack 17 minutes ago via web
RepJackKimble

Two words - Fluffernutter Sandwiches #Idontknowjack 18 minutes ago via TweetDeck
DirkThunderstne

@Dyslexicguns asks What will you do to protect America's fat kids from Michelle Obama's socialist, anti-eating policies? #Idontknowjack 19 minutes ago via web
RepJackKimble

I believe my tax policies which include a very sizable cut for the top 2% will enable you to have compound & entourage money #Idontknowjack 20 minutes ago via TweetDeck
RepJackKimble

@thereisnosin for you the key is to get as big an entourage as possible and a compound to shield you from distractions #Idontknowjack 20 minutes ago via TweetDeck
RepJackKimble

Anyway, as a rock star the key to having me time is to withdraw as much from the general public as possible #Idontknowjack 21 minutes ago via TweetDeck
RepJackKimble

Speaking of celebrities @Thereisnosin is about to have a new record released http://bit.ly/gtzS5K. #Idontknowjack 22 minutes ago via TweetDeck
DirkThunderstne

@Thereisnosin asks As President, what would you do to ensure that know-it-all intellectuals don't deplete my me time? #Idontknowjack 23 minutes ago via web
RepJackKimble

Yes, I'm not quite sure what happened, but I am anxious to go on #Idontknowjack 24 minutes ago via TweetDeck
DirkThunderstne

I see you had a technical glitch there Congressman. Can we continue? #Idontknowjack 24 minutes ago via web
RepJackKimble

I also believe that Bono is supporting my campaign #Idontknowjack 25 minutes ago via TweetDeck
DyslexicGuns

@RepJackKimble What will you do to protect America's fat kids from Michelle Obama's socialist, anti-eating policies? #Idontknowjack 25 minutes ago via Echofon
RepJackKimble

Rob Mader from the Santa Fe horns has offered to write my campaign song, Hall of Fame Rodeo Clown Bob Sykes+ #Idontknowjack 26 minutes ago via TweetDeck
DirkThunderstne

@aliceduncanson asks @RepJackKimble Do you have any celebrity endorsers? #idontknowjack 28 minutes ago via web
RepJackKimble

+our country's children deserve #Idontknowjack 29 minutes ago via TweetDeck
RepJackKimble

You can visit their website here (http://bit.ly/fr62ZW). I believe that they offer the kind of top down corporate reform+ #Idontknowjack 29 minutes ago via TweetDeck
RepJackKimble

Thank you for asking Leonie. I am a member of the board of directors of Last Stand for Children First #Idontknowjack 30 minutes ago via TweetDeck
DirkThunderstne

@leoniehaimson from NY asks Rep. Kimble:exactly what is yr. relationship w/Myron Miner CEO of Last Stand for Children First #Idontknowjack 31 minutes ago via web
RepJackKimble

In the event of an actual flood, we will probably be on chairs and desks in my office, bailing it out #Idontknowjack 32 minutes ago via TweetDeck
RepJackKimble

My office is unfortunately at the lowest point of a strip mall and when it rains water collects in front of our building #Idontknowjack 32 minutes ago via TweetDeck
DirkThunderstne

@Justinwedes writes If elected president, would u renege on campaign promises or push new legislation u never campaigned on? #Idontknowjack 35 minutes ago via web
RepJackKimble

I think we have a good shot at winning the state in 2012, especially with a Republican candidate who is a native son #Idontknowjack 36 minutes ago via TweetDeck
RepJackKimble

But there also are a great many wonderful conservatives. In fact, we have talked of splitting off from liberal California #Idontknowjack 37 minutes ago via TweetDeck
RepJackKimble

I was born and raised in California as was our greatest President Ronald Reagan. Yes, there are liberals out here #Idontknowjack 38 minutes ago via TweetDeck
DirkThunderstne

@Raphaelptw asks As a patriot, how can you represent *any* part of a state like CA with a clean conscience? #idontknowjack 39 minutes ago via web
DirkThunderstne

Let's get started then Congressman #Idontknowjack 40 minutes ago via web
RepJackKimble

questions as possible #Idontknowjack 40 minutes ago via TweetDeck
RepJackKimble

Thank you Dirk and thank you Twitterers. It is a pleasure to make history tonight. I look forward to answering as many #Idontknowjack 40 minutes ago via TweetDeck
DirkThunderstne

At this time I'd like to welcome Congressman Kimble so that we can begin what I expect will be an engaging half hour #Idontknowjack 41 minutes ago via web
DirkThunderstne

This town hall is a testament to the growth of Twitter, which is quickly becoming the new AOL or MySpace #Idontknowjack 42 minutes ago via web
DirkThunderstne

who have turned out to see Jack Kimble answer questions posed to him by members of the Twitter community. #Idontknowjack 42 minutes ago via web
DirkThunderstne

Here at Jumeaux Restaurant in Glendale Valley, CA the atmosphere is electric. There are 40 guests of the CoC in attendance #Idontknowjack 43 minutes ago via web
DirkThunderstne

Please follow along at hashtag #Idontknowjack. We expect this town hall to last approximately 30 minutes. 44 minutes ago via web
DirkThunderstne

Congressman Jack Kimble and I are pleased that you are joining us for this historic first ever Tweeter Town Hall. #Idontknowjack 44 minutes ago via web
DirkThunderstne

Hello, I'm Dirk Thunderstone from Fox Action 15. #Idontknowjack about 1 hour ago via web
DirkThunderstne

I'm very excited to be hosting the #Idontknowjack Town Hall tonight. If you are in Glendale Valley stop by Jumeaux to see it. about 2 hours ago via web

Congressman Kimble Makes History with First Ever Twitter Town Hall

2011-07-08T21:20:00.000-07:00

On next Tuesday, July 12th and 8PM Eastern Standard Time, Congressman Jack Kimble will be making history by taking part in the first ever Twitter Town Hall. This town hall will be hosted by Fox Action 15's Dirk Thunderstone and will give actual Twitter users a chance to ask Congressman Kimble questions about the House of Representatives and his current campaign for President of these United States.

For those of you unfamiliar with Twitter, Twitter users or Tweeterers as they are known are able to communicate on their computers by typing messages to each other or tweets, which are like emails, but limited to 140 characters.

Twitter users who wish to participate in the debate can submit their questions by using the hashtag #Idontknowjack. Then on Tuesday night tune in for Congressman Kimble's answers.

While the game is opposite the major league all-star game, many of Congressman Kimble's supporters are in city's like Oakland and Kansas City. With the town hall only expected to last 30 minutes, this will allow baseball fans in those cities to participate and then turn on the game in time to see their team's token representative make his appearance as a pinch-hitter.

Congressman Kimble on How to Make an American Salad

2011-07-03T21:38:00.001-07:00

The 4th of July is very important to me. On July 4, 1776 General George Washington crossed the Delaware River to surprise the British at a party in Trenton, New Jersey and won our independence from Britain. We also changed the world forever by becoming the first Democracy where people could vote for their leaders. This call of freedom sounded all over the world and many other countries like Iraq, Sweden, and even England have since abandoned their monarchies for Democracies.

What’s sad is that in recent years secularists have tried to take the Christ out of July 4th celebrations. They want to pretend that American is not a Christian country and that our systems of laws and government weren’t patterned after the Bible or that the American Eagle wasn’t chosen as our country’s symbol because by hatching from an egg it was a symbol of the new life we are called to with Jesus. They would like us to forget that the red on the American flag stands for the blood Jesus shed for all mankind. They would like to forget that the words “E Pluribus Unum” (In God We Trust) is on all our money. Do not let them take Jesus out of the 4th of July. When you see a fireworks display be impressed, but remember those fireworks represent us looking to God for guidance and providence.

As fun little exercise I have witten a recipe for an American salad. I think if you read it, you may just find that this recipe has a deeper meaning:

How to Make an American Salad

1. Take 1 pound of British colonists, a half-pound of French colonists, and a half-pound of Indians. Place in a melting pot until the flavors are thoroughly mixed together. At this point remove the Indians. Simmering too long will cause them to get bitter.

2. In a separate melting pot whisk together 4 ounces of family values, A half-cup of Christianity, A cup of freedom, A quarter-cup of liberty, and 17 Constitutional amendments chopped finely.

3. Drizzle liquids over mixture in melting pot.

4. Add immigrants from other countries, but make sure none get in the pot without you putting them there.

5. Top with manifest destiny, individualism, perseverance, and conservatism to taste.

This delicious recipe was first made on July 4, 1776 and should serve 300 million.

Happy 4th of July!!

Jack Kimble's Short Bus Tour of America - Liberty or Bust!

2011-06-29T17:52:00.000-07:00

Having recently adopted a daughter has been wonderful. She's a true delight and has had no problem pitching in around the house or with our direct mail campaign, assuring me we made the right choice when we adopted her. Unfortunately, with her in California and me doing our country's business in Washington we've really been able to keep in touch via letter and that's just not the same as being there.

I remember fondly the road trips my family took when I was little. My brothers, sister, and I had so much fun discussing politics with my father and tormenting the chauffeur as we took our traditional cross country road trip to the Hamptons or Myrtle Beach. I wanted to give my new daughter a chance to get to know me as we took the same kind of family road trip I used to love and we got to explore America together.

We'll be starting in Washington D.C. on July 17th and we'll be sure to hit both Lexington, KY and Concord, NH where the first shots of the American revolution were fired. In New York, we'll see the statue of Nathan Hale whose dramatic words, "give me liberty or give me death" inspired a new nation and in Eureka,IL we'll see the birthplace of Ronald Reagan. I will be sure to share my reflections of the tour, which I am now calling the "Liberty or Bust Tour".

We'll be giving away free Bounty Paper Towels and we'll be selling tour t-shirts on the road. We're only using a short bus because it doesn't seem that Ayn and I need a huge bus for just ourselves. The bus looks amazing in "Don't Tread on Me" yellow.

Congressman Kimble Landsline Winner of New Hampshire Debate

2011-06-14T14:31:00.000-07:00

[Reprinted from the Oakdale Value Shopper with permission]

54th District Congressman Jack Kimble was the clear winner of last night's Republican Presidential Debate in New Hampshire despite not being invited to participate. Kimble, who has emerged as a tireless champion of conservative family values, capitalism, and plutocracy is a long shot for the nomination, but that didn't stop him from being the debate's big winner according to overnight tracking polls that showed 73% of viewers felt Kimble was the winner, with 20% preferring Ron Paul, and front-runner Mitt Romney tied for a distant third with Michele Bachmann and Herbert Cain.

Because of a paperwork snafu, Kimble was not invited to the debate so he chose to make the best of the situation by tweeting from the Best Western in Concord, where he was staying unaware that the debate was actually being held in Manchester. He responded to the debate questions in real time and was followed by an audience of thousands on Twitter through hash tag #GOPDebate.

"He just came off as real," said longtime political analyst George Coughlin, "When an audience member asked for a way to specific response and Kimble replied that he was just going to dance around the question with platitudes, it reminded me of Ronald Reagan telling Walter Mondale, "there you go again."

@dcGisenyi, a Washington D.C. native, singled out Kimble's plan to "1ook at every immigrant woman of child-bearing age as ticking bomb" particularly compelling before declaring him the debate winner.

@laloalcaraz a nationally syndicated political cartoonist thought Kimble won big points by defiantly declaring, "We know illegal immigrants come here because our life is better. If you elect me, I promise that will stop."

Kimble felt free to talk off the cuff, such as when he declared that like Herman Cain he would make sure any Muslim on his staff would not kill him, but he was masterful when he stuck to the points he felt strongest about like ending child labor laws and government regulation. Perhaps the most memorable line of the night was when Kimble declared that all food should be hand inspected, but by the invisible hand of the free market and not by the FDA.

Clearly, Jack Kimble had the most to lose in this debate, but the effect of his strong showing won't be known until new polls are taken at the end of the week. It is hard to see how Kimble doesn't jump into double digits after this performance.

The Oakdale Value Shopper is owned by Jack Kimble's father Joe Kimble.

New Hampshire GOP Prefers Paperwork to Democracy

2011-06-12T15:19:00.000-07:00

This has been a very trying couple of weeks for the Kimble campaign. I had many of my highest ranking campaign officials quit earlier in the week, but I was able to catch them before they could make it out of the parking lot to freedom. I was worried that this might happen if we let the windows open while they worked. That situation has been rectified with the purchase of several wall unit air conditioners.

The big problem happened on Thursday when I was told that because my paperwork was incomplete I would not be allowed to compete in the New Hampshire Republican Presidential Debate this Monday. I tried to appeal to the state GOP's sense of fairness and decency as well as the desire to have all voices represented. Unfortunately, they showed a preference for having pretty paperwork and refused.

This Monday, the debate will be on CNN from 8PM until 10PM and I will be in the Concord Best Western on Twitter using hash tag #CNNDebate to give my answers to the questions asked of contestants. If you care about democracy I ask you to follow along. They can shut us out, but they will not shut us up. I hope to see you then. Be sure to follow @Repjackkimble on Twitter for all the latest in my campaign to become your next President.

The Newest Member of Our Family -- Ayn Reagan Kimble

2011-06-03T16:33:00.000-07:00

I am very pleased to announce that after a very exhaustive search that took us to over two dozen states and 40 orphanages, we have adopted a new daughter. Seven year old Ayn Reagan Kimble is just the type of daughter we have always wanted and despite her young age is a gifted singer, equestrian, and a winner of several toddler beauty pageants. Just like a Kimble, she's got the fire of competition in her belly already.

Through the talent portion of the search, several orphans were bottle-necked at the top of the standings, but Ayn distinguished herself when she was able to explain how the 1964 Presidential, though a loss for the Republicans, was a watershed moment for the conservative movement in this country.

Kerry deserves much of the credit for locating this beautiful girl who we have named Ayn. While I was in Washington, Kerry took the lead in our search. The St. Benedict's Orphanage we used previously supplied infants to the Republican party during the battle against Obama Care, where they made excellent speaking props. We have chosen February 6th as her birthday, which she will now share with Ronald Reagan.

We know as she gets older, we will have to explain to her that she was adopted and will not get any inheritance from her grandfather, but for now we are an extremely happy family. We intend to take a family bus tour in June to get to know each other before the election campaign really picks up. She will be working as a staffer on my campaign when we return.

Congressman Kimble Releases Statement on Elect Woman Smear

2011-05-22T20:42:00.000-07:00

This evening I discovered a website called Elect Women Magazine was targeting me. Here is a screen capture of what they posted:

My press release is as follows:

The feminati sent out their minions to do their bidding. The matriarchy cannot tolerate threats from thoughtful males who might disrupt their comfortable world. The firefight started when these she wolves sensed weakness. The Amazon warriors of the Manhattan cocktail set attacked with a viciousness far beyond the male of their species, firing without taking aim their distortions and falsehoods. Now they are left exposed by their own headlines and website. But surely they had killed him off. This is the way it always worked. A lesser man could not have survived the first few minutes of the furies' onslaught. But out of the Brett Ratner like explosion of tweets and trivia emerged Kimble, once again ready to lead those who won’t be intimated by this matriarchy's power and are ready to take on the challenges America faces. Such is the way of Jack Kimble and such shall it always be. On this I have spoken and on this have you my word.

Congressman Kimble's Open Letter to Amy Myers

2011-05-14T20:43:00.000-07:00

A letter from a New Jersey high school student to Michele Bachmann challenging her to a debate or test of Constitutional knowledge has received a lot of mileage on the internets recently. The student named Amy Myers shows a tremendous amount of chutzpah as she goes immediately on the offensive. This is her letter:

Dear Representative Bachmann,
My name is Amy Myers. I am a Cherry Hill, New Jersey sophomore attending Cherry Hill High School East. As a typical high school student, I have found quite a few of your statements regarding The Constitution of the United States, the quality of public school education and general U.S. civics matters to be factually incorrect, inaccurately applied or grossly distorted. The frequency and scope of these comments prompted me to write this letter.

Though I am not in your home district, or even your home state, you are a United States Representative of some prominence who is subject to national media coverage. News outlets and websites across this country profile your causes and viewpoints on a regular basis. As one of a handful of women in Congress, you hold a distinct privilege and responsibility to better represent your gender nationally. The statements you make help to serve an injustice to not only the position of Congresswoman, but women everywhere. Though politically expedient, incorrect comments cast a shadow on your person and by unfortunate proxy, both your supporters and detractors alike often generalize this shadow to women as a whole.

Rep. Bachmann, the frequent inability you have shown to accurately and factually present even the most basic information about the United States led me to submit the follow challenge, pitting my public education against your advanced legal education:

I, Amy Myers, do hereby challenge Representative Michele Bachmann to a Public Forum Debate and/or Fact Test on The Constitution of the United States, United States History and United States Civics.

Hopefully, we will be able to meet for such an event, as it would prove to be enlightening.

Sincerely yours,
Amy Myers

My response is as follows:

Dear Amy,

Allow me to commend you on expressing yourself so clearly. I have no doubt that you are a great student who has made your parents and teachers proud in your time in high school. I predict a very bright future for you once you mature young student and embrace the GOP.

Michele Bachmann is one of the finest Constitutional scholars I have ever known. I am not just saying that because she is a woman either. I honestly learn something new every single time she talks about the Constitution. The Constitution is the result of the greatest men of all 13 original colonies who got together on an excessively hot July 4th to write down the rules for how our government would work. They made history.

As much as I salute your intelligence, I am afraid you need to learn humility. In my day, that would have happened already during your PE classes, but I understand things have changed. If you want to challenge somebody to a test of Constitutional knowledge or a debate of any kind, then I will gladly accept on behalf of all Republicans in the 112th Congress. Just realize that if you accept, I will crush you. I know nearly all 2 dozen amendments backwards and forwards and with a little brushing up I will be ready for any challenge. If you want a challenge little girl, bring it.

Congressman Jack Kimble
Congressman CA-54

Update: If I appeared harsh to Amy I apologize. She is obviously quite gifted for one so young. However, the young student will never achieve her destiny until she embraces the power of the GOP. In time she will realize she is mistaken about a great many things.

New Kimble 2012 Ad - Bears

2011-05-10T05:01:00.001-07:00

We're quite proud of this 30 second spot, which we intend to put in heavy rotation in states with a lot of labor strife. The bears are actually a metaphor for trade unions.

Jack Kimble (Courageousness)

2011-05-04T22:11:00.000-07:00

My decision to make an add buy last week targeting Obama for being soft on terror was probably a bad idea in retrospect, but the buy allowed me to put together a new forward looking commercial with a positive message for voters in Iowa, New Hampshire, and South Carolina.

Police Arrest Woman Who Assaulted Congressman Kimble

2011-04-26T20:54:00.000-07:00

Following a tip from a member of her bridge group, Glendale Valley Police arrested Edna Mae Watkins 82 of Glendale Valley after setting up a sting at a local diner where Ms. Watkins was known to frequent in the early afternoon hours. Police arrested Ms. Watkins peacefully, though a taser was used for the officers' safety.

During a heated exchange over the Ryan budget at a recent town hall, Ms. Watkins struck Congressman Kimble in the nose with her cane. She was escorted from the town hall by Hell's Angels working as security, but managed to trick the amateur security into letting her go.

With his nose still heavily bandaged, Congressman Kimble issues a statement saying, "This is a great day for law enforcement. What Ms. Watkins did was assault pure and simple and there is never an excuse for this kind of attack. I will make sure that she is prosecuted to the full extent of the law."

Jack Kimble Releases Statement on Glendale Valley Townhall

2011-04-24T08:12:00.000-07:00

There are no easy words to sum up the events at last evening's disastrous town hall on the budget and the national debt crisis. It was clear from the opening moments of this town hall that the crowd was contentious. I will be asking that appropriate law enforcement individuals look into the possibility that the crowd was stirred up by Democrat operatives in the crowd. There can, however be no doubt that mistakes were made.

At last year's town hall event in Rancho Podrido I had hired Hell's Angels to serve as security without incident. I attempted to hire their services again and in retrospect, it seemed to be a big mistake. If anything they seemed to make the situation more volatile and not less so. It became clear to me that things had gotten out of hand when a woman charged the stage and hit me cleanly across the bridge of my nose with her cane. She was forcibly removed from the town hall and I will be sure that she will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

Things escalated from there. I saw several members of the unruly mob agitate the Hell's Angels by deliberately plowing into them with their mobility scooters. Finally, when an Oakdale man charged the stage with a walker, he was tackled by one of the Hell's Angels and the situation had clearly become untenable. I ended the town hall at that point and exited out a back door. Reports, that I had used an elderly woman as a human shield by pushing her into the angry crowd are totally and completely fabricated. It is my belief that many of the seniors are strongly supportive of the Ryan budget and it was only a few bad apples who caused the problems. I will no longer be employing the Hell's Angels as security at my town halls.

Jack Kimble Urges Everyone to Get The Word Out

2011-04-23T19:11:00.001-07:00

Running for President can be extremely exhausting. Very few people would fly to Marshalltown, IA on Good Friday for a campaign event at the Made-Rite. It's even worse when people look at that said candidate suspiciously for having a loose meat sandwich on a Friday in Lent when that candidate hadn't eaten all day and got a special dispensation from his pastor before leaving California.

The point is, visibility is going to be a major stumbling block for me this campaign. I know my message will resonate with voters, but in order for that to happen, they have to hear it. Many times, the lamestream media doesn't even include me in Presidential polls. With liberal media bias against our campaign, only we can rise above by getting the word out ourselves. Unfortunately, with so many of my followers living in gated communities even yard signs are less effective than ideal.

There are 4 main sources of fund-raising open to me:
1. Hitting Mom and Dad for Cash
2. Hitting Lobbyists for Cash
3. Asking You for Donations
4. Selling You Things in the Online Store

Now my mom and dad have done their part and the oil lobbyists have been very cooperative. I could simply ask for donations, but that's just cash. I want you to not only generate word of mouth for my campaign, but to have a wonderful souvenir to treasure while you're watching my inauguration on television. Just think how impressed your neighbors would be to see a yard sign like the one pictured above -- Only $10.95 at our campaign store. We have buttons and t-shirts as well to let you show your support in style. I'm doing my part, but without you it won't work. Together we can take back this country and take it way back. You can visit the campaign store by clicking on the Shop link at the top of the page.

Congressman Kimble Pushes State to Adopt Policy on Clothing for Foster Kids

2011-04-23T17:43:00.000-07:00

A new budget proposal in Michigan recently caught my eye and it sounds like it should be the new policy for the entire country. Republican State Senator Bruce Casswell has introduced legislation to mandate that foster children would only be allowed to buy their clothing at second hand stores. This sounds like simple common sense to me. Why should the state pay for tailored suits or designer handbags when there is a perfectly reasonable budget alternative

There is a lot of good stuff at Goodwill stores and if foster kids don't look at it as unfashionable, but rather hipster chic, I am sure that they will have no trouble wearing a dress with large shoulder pads or an unconstructed robin's egg blue jacket. It's time for us to end the free ride for foster children once and for all.

President Kimble Announces Presidential Run

2011-04-20T07:16:00.000-07:00

My Friends,

Only a short month and a half ago, I announced my decision to explore a run for President of the United States. This was not just a statement, but the beginning of a conversation. Since early March, I have talked to everyday Americans--from the courageous Tea Party protester in Madison to the Lobbyist in Washington DC to the senior citizen in California terrified of a government mandated driving test that she has to pass to continue playing in her weekly bridge game.

I see an America still strong in faith and patriotism, but sadly losing her way. There was a time in this country when being from a privileged family, going to the right school, and networking at the right country club was all one needed to have a pretty good life in this country. Sadly, those days are gone.

"These are," to quote Charles Dickens, "the times that try men's souls. They are the best of times. They are the worst of times."

Nowadays, so much money flows into politics, that most politicians can't help but be changed by it. It's time for a candidate who has had money all his life and knows how to resist its temptations. I believe I am that man.

I will make the economy the cornerstone of my campaign. I have already introduced legislation in the House of Representatives to extend full employment benefits to all Americans regardless of age and I will be introducing another bill after Easter Recess that will allow Speaker Boehner to replace state governments in financial trouble with an emergency manager.

My friends, we must move forward, onward, and upward. As part of the greatest country the world has ever known we have achieved greatness and we can believe it again. I am the change you can believe in and I will not let you down as we travel this road to the election. Together, we can make this world a whole lot brighter and we can make this load just a little bit lighter.

So let's continue this conversation. Let's discuss. Let's parlay. Let's rap. Let's verbalize. Let's talk. Together, we can do great things.

God bless this great country! Stay Free America!

Congressman Kimble Introduces Emergency Manager Bill

2011-04-20T07:08:00.000-07:00

Republican U.S. Rep. Jack Kimble(CA-54) issued the following news release Wednesday:

Jack Kimble Introduces Bill to Allow Congress to Appoint Emergency Managers to Assist States in Financial Crisis

[WASHINGTON] With American economic stability under attack at both the federal and state levels, Congressman Jack Kimble (R-CA) has announced he will sponsor legislation that would allow the United States House of Representatives to review the financial records of individual states and appoint an emergency manager to assume control of state government operations in the event of financial distress.

The Emergency Manager Act (H.R. 2341) is a vital piece of the solution to our current economic crisis. Only by getting control of financial mismanagement at the state level, will government regain its economic footing at all levels.

· Allows a Select Committee of the House of Representatives to conduct a thorough forensic audit of the financial records of all 50 states and present recommendations to the Speaker for future action.

· Allows the Speaker of the House to appoint an Emergency Manager who will take control and assume management of these states and their governmental agencies, selling assets, closing schools and eliminating all employee agreements where necessary. All collective bargaining can be dissolved if in the opinion of the manager, such bargaining poses an undo strain on the state's financial stability. In addition, state police, national guard, and prisons may be privatized.

· Provides for states that have improved their financial status to return to electoral governance following a 6 year probationary period.

“Even if we were to adopt the entire Ryan budget, financial strain on the system at the state level will still keep our country struggling to keep a solid financial footing,” Kimble said. “This legislation is long overdue and vitally necessary. I have the utmost confidence in Speaker Boehner and the other members of House leadership to appoint highly qualified and ethical emergency managers."

Congressman Kimble Crafts Emergency Manager Bill

2011-04-19T11:13:00.000-07:00

My Friends,

It has become clear to me that the economic crisis gripping this nation is far worse than we had initially believed. Even if we were to adopt the entire Paul Ryan budget as is, we would still face unparalleled economic distress at the state level where spendthrift administrations make bad contracts and collectively bargain away the economic stability that so many of their citizens depend on.

For that reason, after Easter Recess I will be sponsoring H.R. 2341 to return financial sanity to the state level of our government. Under the terms of the bill, a select House committee will be appointed by Speaker Boehner to examine the financial records of all 50 states. If a state is show to be in relative financial health no changes will be made to the state's elected government.

However, in the event of clear financial strain at the state level, The Speaker of the House can appoint an emergency manager to take control and assume management of these disbanded states and their governmental agencies, selling assets, closing schools and eliminating all employee agreements where necessary. All collective bargaining can be dissolved if in the opinion of the manager, such bargaining poses an undo strain on the state's financial stability. In addition, state police, national guard, and prisons may be privatized.

When the emergency manager finds that the state's finances have improved, the state will be placed on a 6 year probationary period. After that period, elections will be held for a new Governor and all decisions will return to state control.

While may see this bill as a big government power grab, this bill will merely extend the accountability established for municipalities by the governments of Michigan and Wisconsin to the federal level. Financial sanity at the state level is clearly necessary for the economic stability of the entire country.

Congressman Jack Kimble

Congressman Kimble Tours Factories Where Child Labor is Working

2011-04-18T09:37:00.000-07:00

For a lot of Congressman, Easter Recess is a time to be with their families and maybe get in a round of golf or two, but Congressman Kimble hit the ground running this past weekend with a whirlwind tour of places throughout the world where businesses freed from bureaucratic red tape are making children an important part of the work force.

Kimble's tour began at the Zastava factory in Kragujevac, Serbia where children play an important part in building the next generation of automobiles. Zastava President Nikola Petrovic explained that during the fighting that followed the collapse of Yugoslavia, the company began using orphans out of necessity, but found they were such hard workers and quite skilled. As things improved, the company continued to employ younger workers who seemed to enjoy many of the perks of their job including the ability to work with power tools.

With barely a moment to rest, Kimble was off to Nepal and Vietnam where he visited factories for making rugs and clothing. The Congressman was extremely impressed with the quality of the craftsmanship and of the nimble fingers of the tiny titans of industry. Congressman Kimble related, "The children did not seem exploited, often working days far longer than an adult would work because they got so wrapped up in what they were doing, they simply lost track of the time."

Congressman Kimble is sponsoring H.R. 929 to promote give full employment rights to all Americans regardless of age. He concluded that his successful tour has made him more determined than ever to fight for the rights of children to work.

[From the Oakdale Value Shopper, April 18, 2011]

Congressman Kimble Takes on Liberals to Promote Employment Reforms

2011-04-04T20:41:00.001-07:00

Brad Friedman interviews Congressman Kimble on the Mike Malloy Show

Congressman Jack Kimble when into the belly of the beast to defend H.R. 929 on liberal radio. The legislation, which will extend full employment rights to all Americans regardless of age is strangely controversial in some liberal circles where work is seen as a four letter word.

Congressman Kimble Sponsors Legislation Extending Full Employment Rights to Children

2011-03-30T20:12:00.000-07:00

Republican U.S. Rep. Jack Kimble(CA-54) issued the following news release Wednesday:

Kimble Introduces Bill to Extend Full Employment Rights to All Citizens Regardless of Age

WASHINGTON] With American competitiveness threatened by a stagnating economy brought on by public employee unions and well-meaning, but harmful social legislation Congressman Jack Kimble (R-CA) has sponsored legislation that would extend full employment rights to all citizens regardless of age.

The Roadmap for A Working America (H.R. 929) is a budget-neutral jobs strategy that will enable Americans of all ages to engage in meaningful employment and strip away many of the job destroying child labor protections that American businesses have been suffering under since the New Deal. Specifically the legislation:

· Allows the United States to compete globally by reducing the $125 billion dollars in goods imported annually from countries known to have child labor and encouraging businesses in this country to make those goods.

· Reduces the 8.9 million uninsured children by getting those children into the work force and making them eligible for employee provided health care.

· Provides outside the classroom career skill to a nation of students starving for greater educational opportunities.

· Supplies American businesses with a new younger work force able to work for greatly reduced wages while providing families with an extra source of income.

“For too long, Americans have suffered the consequences of overzealous social reformers picking winners and losers by prohibiting children from meaningful employment. A truly revolutionary groundswell from Maine to Missouri has begun to change these anti-business policies,” Kimble said. “I introduce this legislation to extend full employment rights to all citizens regardless of age not because it is the easy thing to do or because it is politically expedient, but because it is right for our children and it right for America."

Jack kimble and Mike Lee Stand Up for Children

2011-03-14T16:24:00.000-07:00

Every year the United States imports over $125,000,000,000 from nation's that are known to use child labor under the age of 14. This is inexcusable. It should be American children generating this income. It is for that reason that I have approached Senator Mike Lee (R-UT) about creating a joint resolution to once and for all eliminate troublesome barriers to child labor in the United States.

The statistics are staggering. 8.9 million children are uninsured in this country. By getting them into the workforce, many of them would be eligible for employer funded medical care. When we have healthier young people contributing to their family's income then we have a happier and more productive country.

Mike Lee has long been a champion of the right of children to work and I look forward to working closely with him to end this longstanding discrimination against child workers. Child labor can be a win-win situation where young people learn a trade and their small size allows them to reach into machinery and tight places where an adult could never fit.

In Missouri, Jane Cunningham has courageously led a movement to eliminated child labor laws in that state. SB 222 ironically sharing a name with Karen Valentine's homeroom in an old television show about young people (Room 222), will allow young people the satisfaction of working and being productive citizens. We need to take this movement national if we are to regain our economic edge.

I know some people will look at child labor as a societal evil that must be destroyed, but understand I would never advocate a child under 11 work full time. I would reserve such a long work week for older children. However I see nothing wrong with a 9 year old working a 30 hour week or younger child working 20 hours. Many kids play video games for that many hours per week.

Please let your Congressmen know that you support the Lee-Kimble Resolution to reinstate employment rights for children. Please join us in standing up for those too young to stand up for themselves.

Prosperity for Americans Releases Jack Kimble Ad

2011-03-09T18:23:00.001-08:00

I'm overjoyed to have the support for Prosperity for Americans as I contemplate making a decision about entering the 2012 Presidential Election.

Congressman Kimble Launches Website to Explore White House Bid

2011-03-05T13:51:00.001-08:00

My Friends,

Deciding to decide that it was time to make the decision whether or not to pursue the Republican nomination for President of this great country is one of the hardest decisions I have ever made. Making this decision was not something I entered into lightly. I believe I still have work to do in Congress. However, I see that I am being called for something greater.

America, your prayers have been answered. I have consulted heavily with the Koch Brothers and several other job creators who have all told me of the excessive barriers they face in this country. Many of these fine men and women are paying far higher taxes than their employees and that sort of unfairness must stop now. It is time for a candidate who will stand up for the little guy whether he is a person or a corporation. I will do what is best for all America.

I urge all Americans who have been uplifted by my message of hope to rally around me at my new website www.kimble2012.com. If you believe in me as I believe in you, please urge me to run for President. If I see the outpouring of support that I am expecting, I will throw my hat into the ring and with your support I will be the next President of the greatest country in the world. Thank you and God bless America.

Congressman Kimble Remembers Ill-Fated Madison Trip, as a Shining Moment

2011-02-21T12:32:00.000-08:00

We met as strangers, but we left that Wisconsin city as brothers. Last night was brutally cold, but today as I bid two busloads of Tea Party activists a safe trip back to Virginia, I knew that we had achieved something. So many of the activists were members of the Greatest Generation or their parents and these patriots knew how to fight.

We had endured a lot of heckling in our time in Madison. I kept having protesters come up to me and rudely tell me that Wisconsin ranked second in ACT/SAT scores while states without collective bargaining rank 5 states rank 44th,47th,48th,49th & 50th, but when I'd ask them out of how many these rankings were, they'd just look at my with big eyes and then slowly walk away. They never thought somebody would question their data.

I said goodbye to Leo whose dad was a strikebreaker back in the 30s and Helen who always had a smile and an Obama joke when our spirits were low and I went back into the Howard Johnson's to pack up my own things. Though there was a bit of language barrier, I was able to explain to the hotel maid just how bad unions were by talking loudly and slowly and using gestures for her.
After, a quick lunch at the George Webb, I awaited my limo to take me to the airport for my flight back to D.C. Not spending time at home with my family was difficult, but since returning the phone has been ringing non-stop. I was the only Congressman in Madison for the riots and many of my colleagues were jealous. On the plane, I was able to write down a few truths that I had learned from the experience:

1. Madison is just one front in this war - I'd love to say union leaders are intelligent people who are open to compromise, but I wouldn't be fooling anyone. Even if we meet them half way, they will refuse to simply dissolve their unions and go home quietly. They are already mobilizing in Indiana and Ohio to take on the governors there and we must stand strong. You know the word union appears nowhere in the Constitution. They should appear nowhere in this country.

2. Patriots don't let the fact they're not from a state, stop them from working hard to fight for the Governor that other people worked so hard to elect - There were very few Wisconsinites at our counter rallies, but that didn't stop us from reminding the protesters that elections have consequences and unlike a television, you can't return your Governor a month later.

3. Unions are unnecessary in this day and age - Unions are a vestige from a time when corporations put their bottom line ahead of everything else. Nowadays, if you want something from your boss, the simplest thing to do is to ask your employer. That's what I used to do before I entered politics when I worked for my dad.

4. We will never compete against economies like Germany when we have unions - They are an albatross that slow us down and make us too slow, costly, and inefficient.

5. We will never compete with emerging economies in the future like China unless we eliminate antiquated ban on child labor - Children have certain talents that can make them very valuable to corporations. They eat less so they need shorter lunch breaks and their hands are smaller and much better able to reach into clogged machinery to unclog it. Their smaller size makes them ideal for fitting into the sometimes claustrophobic tight spaces of coal mines.

6. Public employees caused our current crisis. Now it's up to them to sacrifice in order to fix it - There are just under half a million public school teachers in the United States. Assuming each one of them has been overpaid by an average of $10,000 per year that would cost our country's taxpayers that's $50 Billion dollars per year. With that kind of money, we could bail out AIG every two years.

Congressman Kimble Calls Madison "Our Valley Forge Moment"

2011-02-20T20:13:00.000-08:00

It has long been said by patriots that it is in enduring great hardship that we reach into our reserves of individual liberty, and from those reserves is our greatness as a people born. Today, in Madison, Wisconsin I witnessed such hardship and the cold chill of Wisconsin did not beat us back, it only tempered our resolve until it became as steel.

Much as Cortes burned his own boats before conquering the savage Aztecs, the brave Tea Partiers who came here from Virginia saw the Koch Brothers order the buses to drive away after everybody was off so that none would be tempted to flee from confrontation with union thuggery. We huddled for warmth and support as we advanced through the blizzard that Madison was experiencing.

We were joined by 6 hearty souls from Wisconsin. Here I met Leo who at 82 years young was able to pepper me with memories of his childhood when his father used a club to disperse strikers during the 1935 Lindemann Strike. He believed in the cause so much he came out himself though he was far too old and frail to wield the ancient piece of wood he showed us.

We began protesting, but were soon driven inside by the howling winds. We gathered at a local Denny's where we faced our first adversity. My chicken noodle soup was tepid and watery and I was not alone, but driven by our patriotism, we would not let this break us.

Emboldened by our respite, we build a snow Obama, but found our heart wasn't in it. Cold, we none the less marched forward to the capital, where Joe the Plumber and Andrew Breitbart had just spoken yesterday and I led our brave patriots in a recitation of the Pledge of Allegiance before saying a few words myself. After, spending the evening at the George Webb, I made my way to the Howard Johnson's where I had reserved a room. The hotel was kind enough to let the other protesters wait in the lobby as they shivered and waited for the Koch Brothers buses to return. We should have worn heavier coats, but we came, we persevered, and we made our voices heard for freedom. This was our Valley Forge moment and it is one I shall not soon forget.

Congressman Kimble Arrives in Madison for Counter Protest

2011-02-20T08:53:00.001-08:00

Whoever came up with the weekend sure had the right idea. With the end of the work week thousands of hardworking Tea Party activists arrived in Wisconsin to counter protest the union rioters in Madison. They came from as far away as Virginia by by bus because above all, they believe in the importance of Wisconsin's fiscal stability. I felt myself very lucky to be among what I estimated to be about 100,000 counter protesters dwarfing the union protesters who were easily identifiable by their Wisconsin accents.

Governor Walker's attempts to broker a compromise with the unions, appear to have fallen on deaf ears as the unions have agreed to give in on salary and pension demands, but have stopped short of agreeing to dissolve their unions and go home.

This is a very hard time for corporations in the state. Nearly 1/3 are forced to pay taxes even though they all contribute to the state in various ways from giving moral support to sponsoring little league teams to donating to political candidates. It's a time for shared sacrifices and corporations are hurting too even as they are seeing record profits---only it's a suffering on the inside kind of thing that is less visible to people outside the company.

So what would make patriots make the long trek to Wisconsin to stand up to firemen union thugs and police union thugs? I asked this brave Tea Party activists for their motivation:

A machinist from Iron Gate, Virginia named Larry explained it to me this way, "I don't have a union. I make $8.50 an hour and when my thumb got cut off, I not only had to pay for it out of my own pocket, I couldn't leave work to do so until my shift was over. Why should these clowns get unions just because they're public workers?"

Gale, a housewife from Tappahannock, Virginia said, "These union thugs are getting rich off of our tax dollars---or at least the tax dollars of the people of Wisconsin."

John, who was actually from Wisconsin, drove to Madison from Kenosha himself. "I'm on disability, so I'm able to watch a lot of news programming and I can't believe the number of people expecting the government to take care of them for the rest of their life. The ones behind this are the ones in the middle east. They want to start a caliphate here too."

Sadly, I will have to leave tomorrow, but I intend to let my voice be heard today. To the people of Wisconsin, I urge you to get out there and counter this rebellion. If the people in Virginia care enough to fight fr your hard earned tax dollars, you should too.

Congressman Kimble on Wisconsin Union Riots

2011-02-18T19:41:00.000-08:00

My Friends,

I find myself becoming increasing alarmed by the rioting in Wisconsin this week. These people in Madison do not represent most of the people of the state regardless of what polls may say. The hearts of the people of Wisconsin are with the Tea Partiers on the bus from Virginia to come counter protest.

It bothers me that it has become so confrontational when this is really a simple economics issue. Everybody was thrilled when Scott Walker cut corporate taxes, but now comes the time to pay for those cuts and unfortunately it calls for shared sacrifice. Nobody likes to have their salary cut or their union crushed, but it's that spirit of all for one and one for all that has made our country great.

Word is that the rioters have agreed to make all the pay concessions the Governor is asking as long as he leaves their collective bargaining rights alone, but the problem is that collective bargaining inevitably costs employers money. When child labor was outlawed, businesses lost a valuable commodity as small children could fit their hands into machinery to unclog it in tight places where an adult hand could never reach. What has the 40 hour work week done except to give the American worker more time off from work, which requires him to spend more money. It becomes a vicious cycle as employees are forced to foot the bell for giant televisions, air conditioning, and indoor plumbing.

As you may know, I am on the executive board of Last Stand For Children First (www.laststand4children.org). I see that many of these protesters are teachers who are complaining that they will need to take second jobs. I can't think of anything more valuable that they could bring to their students than the life experience of outside work. Also, if you are frying your students' burgers, welcoming them to Wal-Mart, or taking their tickets at the movie theatre, it would give students a great chance to get to know their teachers in another setting.

Everybody wants something for nothing and we all were thrilled to see corporate tax rates drop around the country. When I heard that the income of the upper class exploded in the past decade, nobody was more thrilled than I was, but now comes the time to pay the piper. We all need to sacrifice and even union members must do their fair share. I hope that Governor Walker (or as I like to call him Moobarak), will continue to stand tall for the people of Wisconsin and the people from Virginia coming to protest.

NOTE: Some have pointed to the presence of Arabic writing in the photo. It is well known that Wisconsin has a very strong Arab influence so this is not uncommon. The Milwaukee Bucks of the NBA played in the MECCA Arena for 20 years.

Congressman Kimble Explains Craig's List Misunderstanding.

2011-02-09T19:00:00.000-08:00

Recently, following an ugly scandal in New York involving another Congressman, I have been targeted for criticism by several left wing bloggers who have uncovered shirtless pictures I posted of myself on Craig's List. The bloggers speculated that I too was using Craig's List to seek out sexual conquests. This misrepresentation of the truth is both hurtful to my family and dishonest.

My advertisements on Craig's List were seeking out used manshaping or if you will manscaping products. As said products were being sought by myself a male and I was looking for products designed for a male body, I may have inadvertently placed my advertisement in the wrong section of Craig's List. The fact that I described myself as a bear was only to describe my luxurious coat of back hair, which I was seeking to remove.

I am demanding an apology from any liberal blogs that have speculated on these pictures. I have done nothing wrong and I believe my explanation should put an end to this discussion. I remain firmly committed to my loving wife of 25 years.

How Ronald Reagan Helped Me Overcome My Brother's Death

2011-02-05T20:51:00.000-08:00

[The following section is an excerpt from my memoirs entitled Profiles in Courageousness: The Jack Kimble Story. This is still in draft form, but it tells the story of how Ronald Reagan helped me to overcome the untimely death of my older brother Joe Kimble and how he ultimately brought our family together.]

Chapter Three

Remembering Joe

Monday night, July 17, 1978 was a scorcher. An angry sun was beating down most of the day reminding us all that California had once been a desert and despite modern attempts to the contrary, the state was a mistress that you could never really take home to meet your parents. In a game played under the unrelenting sun, the Heritage Valley Tigers defeated the Hampton Jazz 5-2 behind their star Joe Kimble. It was summer vacation and the Heritage Valley players were looking to celebrate.

Around 10:00 the players were able to buy some Schaefer’s Beer. They headed out behind the school and began drinking heavily. The sun had set and the night air was refreshingly cool. Tank McBride the catcher on the team had suggested going to the zoo and with everybody’s minds clouded by alcohol consumption this sounded like a terrific idea.

Just after midnight, 8 members of the Heritage Valley baseball team hopped the fence at Canyon Point Zoo. When that awful night was over, only 7 would leave. The players made their way through the park and were immediately drawn to the big cats that Canyon Point was famous for. The players began to heckle the Bengal Tiger who growled a few times, but for the most part ignored their taunts. Finally, it was decided that the tiger should have a pair of pants on instead of running around a public zoo naked. As leader, it fell to Joe to put a pair of baseball pants on the tiger.

Even through a drunken haze, the players displayed amazing teamwork as they slid Joe down the 14 foot wall encircling the cat habitat. This should have been their finest moment as a tea—the type of crazy stunt the cements bonds and fosters a one for all attitude for years to come. Unfortunately, tragedy intervened. Joe snuck up behind the tiger and managed to get the legs of the pants over the tiger’s hind legs. He even managed to stuff the tiger’s tail down one of the pants legs. It was only when he attempted to zip the pants that the tiger exploded with primal ferocity. Joe never stood a chance. The other players called for help, but by the time rescue workers arrived on the scene, Joe was already dead..

For years, my dad carried the weight of Joe’s death on his shoulders. People took one look at him and could tell he changed. He continued to rail against the communist takeover of America and fluoride in the drinking water, but you could tell that his heart just wasn’t in it anymore. My mom seemed to take things pretty well on the outside, but she had her doctor double her Miltown prescription. Bobby seemed to throw himself even more into his studies hoping to make dad proud of him. I remember that Gladys was sad about Joe’s passing too. It seemed like the whole Kimble family had been turned upside down.

A month after Joe’s passing, I tried to comfort my father, but he wasn’t ready to be consoled not would he be for quite sometime to come.

“It’s hard to lose Joe,” I said, “He was like a brother to me, but life has to move on, doesn’t it dad? You’ve still got Bobby and me and a daughter too.”

He put his hand on my shoulder and shook his head in resignation. “This probably makes me a horrible parent for saying this, but Joe was special.”

“Sister Agnes said that I was special too,” I beamed proudly.

“That’s just because you couldn’t figure out shoe laces until you were 11. Joe was the best hope this family had of really making it big. He could have been an astronaut, or President, or owned the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. You and Bobby can’t compete with that. I don’t expect you too.”

”You’re wrong dad, I’m going to show you,” I said storming out of the room. I’d like to say that moment changed my life and that after I stood up to my dad I was forever inspired to make something of my life to prove my father wrong. The truth is, like the rest of my family, I was spiraling into an abyss. Tragedy hits everybody differently, but my 14 year old backbone was too weak to struggle against the grief that was holding me down for long.

When I returned to school in September, my grades immediately began to plummet. If not for my father’s skillful cross-examination of teachers during parent-teacher conferences, I probably would have been looking at more Fs than I did receive, but I certainly was no longer the B student that I had been during my freshman year. I had trouble concentrating on my school work with what was going on in my home life and knowing the lowered expectations that my father had for me didn’t help. In retrospect, it seemed that every time my father had told me about the great Kimble lineage or dreams for the future he was also addressing Joe. When he talked to me alone, it was usually about mundane things like taking out the trash.

A schism had developed in the audio-visual club over two competing formats. The school had 1960s era film players and wanted to switch to more modern recording devices. My friends and I fought bitterly with another group that thought VHS was the way to go. A lot of the skills that serve me well in politics today, I learned that Fall in the audio-visual club format wars. The debate grew hot and heavy, but finally in January my group prevailed and we looked with pride on the $5,000 that our school district had spent on new betamax equipment for our high school.

That winter Dave Kenny brought a strange box into our Tuesday afternoon chess club meeting. It looked like an ordinary game box, but I could feel the evil that was emanating from the box. Had I been my usual self, I would have cast the box from the club room and called on Jesus to destroy its evil. Instead, in my weakened state I was intrigued. The game was called Dungeons and Dragons and by now it has become quite famous as a tool like Harry Potter for leading unknowing nerds into the occult.

As Dave tore open the game box, I saw dice of the like I had never seen before. While normal dice had 6 sides, some of these dice had 4, 12, and 20 sides. I knew that madness was the gateway to Satan and surely such dice were pure evil. In fact, grabbing one of the dice I noticed it was warm to the touch despite being in a cold locker for the last 7 hours.

“This is Dungeons and Dragons,” said Dave, “My older brother Gary bought it for me.”

“He’s strange. I think he’s taking drugs and he is always mumbling something under his breath,” said Julie. She was one of two girls in the chess club and she usually spoke her mind.

“I guess he’s odd, but this game is great. I’ll be the Dungeon Master and by playing this game you’ll be able to tap into real power,” said Dave excitedly.

“Real power? That sounds scary,” replied Julie.

“I don’t know,” I said, “Won’t this get in the way of our chess?”

“Chess is fine, but this game will be even better,” said Tom.

The others began to share in his excitement for the game as if overcome by some demonic power. If only I had stood up for my faith then, I would have saved us all, but instead I picked up the box and studied it further.

“Wow,” I said, “This is an odd game. It’s printed in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin”

“I had an uncle who lived there once,” said Julie, “The fog rises off of the lake and the townsfolk here the dogs barking and an eerie laughter, but nobody can see what it is. That town is evil. Trust me.”

Against my better judgment, I took to Dungeons and Dragons with relish. The chess club soon got a name change and became the gaming club. Late nights frequently found me sitting at a table with my fellow gamers using our critical thinking to escape the clever traps that Tom was laying out for us. We grew closer together as a group and those table sessions soon became therapy sessions as we shared the many problems we were having. I opened up for the first time about my brother’s death. It was unnatural, but at the time we couldn’t see that.

One of the most insidious parts of Dungeons and Dragons is that you take on the persona of a character. Role-playing can cause the participant to actually experience, emotionally, the role being played. Many of the chess players were extremely introverted and would never say much even to their friends. However, when taking on the role of a hero they began to get more outgoing and friendly both in and out of the game. I could only put this change in their behavior down to a sort of demonic possession or a sample of the occult power that we were foolishly playing with. I found myself lost in a malaise. Like this country, I was going through the motions without any faith or belief or values. I was existing simply to exist. Nothing seemed to matter anymore as I had abandoned my pride, and my values.

Two men changed my life. Coach Jack Bonner was 52 years old, pot-bellied, and he smelled of cigarettes and cheap bourbon, but he knew something about instilling character in young men. I first met Coach during study hall during my senior year. It turns out he had seen me at lunch eating a double helping of Sloppy Joes and he was impressed.

“How much do you weigh kid,” said Coach clearing his throat.

“About 112 pounds,” I replied.

“You’re what 5’10” and you eat whatever you want?” coach asked.

“Yes sir. I’ve got a fast metabolism,” I smiled

“Well, how’d you like to join the wrestling team?” he asked.

In high school wrestling it seems, being able to stay under 103 pounds is an athletic skill. Joining the wrestling team would mean losing 12 pounds so that I could wrestle an assortment of dwarves, freshman, male anorexics, and in one case an amputee. It wasn’t a tough choice for me to make. I took the challenge and began training hard for wrestling season.

Around the same time, I became acquainted with another charismatic man who knew something about character. I had heard Ronald Reagan’s name since I was old enough to talk. California Republicans are sadly not as common as one would like and Reagan had been the state’s governor. However, it was during the 1980 campaign for President that I really began to understand Ronald Reagan and the vision he had for this country. Reagan radiated confidence and optimism and the enemies of freedom sure noticed. Reagan had a passion and conviction that showed his belief that we could be great again and maybe just maybe so could the Kimble family. Through the Teenage Republicans, I began to pass out flyers and campaign for Reagan. I worked towards his election with the fervor of an immigrant landscaper determined to bring Dutch home a winner.

At home, my dad finally started to come around. He could see how hard I was working to be successful with the wrestling and my newfound enthusiasm for Ronald Reagan. Dad had been reinvigorated politically as well. In the 1960s, Reagan had been staunchly supported by the Robert Baird Society when he ran for Governor of California and dad believed Reagan was one of the few people who would root all the reds out of the government. When I’d bring home Reagan campaign literature from the Teenage Republicans, dad would always want to see it. We began to connect again in a way we hadn’t since that horrible night when Joe died.

As a wrestler I wasn’t very good, but I worked hard. I ran everyday to get in shape. I was blessed with extremely active sweat glands. For a wrestler this is a great thing. I was able to start a day at 108 pounds and sweat my way down to 103 in time for the big weigh in. Then as I drank water and replenished my lost bodily fluids, I’d be able to wrestle at 108.

After nearly two months of intense training, my big moment came on a Tuesday in November, when I had to wrestle the team’s wrestler in the 103 pound weight class from the previous year. Jennifer Hillebrandt had joined the team before after a long argument with the school board over Title IX and the lack of a girls wrestling team. She faced a lot of teasing from the boys who never really thought of her as a teammate. She was one of two female wrestlers in our conference and both wrestled at the 103 pound weight class.

Despite being nearly a foot taller than she was, wrestling against Jennifer was intimidating. In addition to the general awkwardness of having to wrestle a girl, Jennifer was an experienced wrestler who had one 3 matches the year before. I was a good six inches taller than she was, but I was the one with all the nerves as everyone watched us take to the mat. I could hear the boys on the team cheering me on and hoping to get rid of the female interloper from their previously all male domain. We stood next to each other in the neutral position and eyed each other trying to look intimidating.

Unfortunately, things went down hill very quickly. Jennifer had obviously been training hard since last season, while I had counted on my natural ability to sweat buckets to see me through. She nearly pinned me twice and soon had me in a hammer lock before the first period had ended. The second period had me starting out on offense, but ended much the same way. The boys on the team were visibly upset and I could see the coach’s disappointment. “I really expected more from you,” he said to me.

Entering the third period down fourteen to nothing, I knew that I had only one real chance to win the competition and that was to get a pin. Complicating matters, if she got one more point on me before I scored, she’d win. I tried to look intimidating. However, with her crouching over me in the offensive position to start the match, I didn’t see much hope of that happening. Then I thought of the words of Ronald Reagan, “The ultimate determinant in the struggle now going on for the world will not be bombs and rockets but a test of wills and ideas-a trial of spiritual resolve: the values we hold, the beliefs we cherish and the ideals to which we are dedicated.”

As Jennifer grabbed for my shoulder I bent slightly forward and shot my elbow backwards, connecting dead solid with her nose. Blood began to spurt profusely in all directions. This was before we knew about some of the diseases we know about nowadays or I would not have been so nonchalant as her blood began to soak my wrestling clothes. The blood was just the distraction that I needed to reach back for her hair and throw her to the mat. As she lay there dazed, I straddled her for the pin. Coach was beaming with pride as he raised my hand high above my head. All the boys on the teach jumped up and down in excitement and ran to the mat to congratulate me. I had won my spot on the team.

For the rest of the year, Jennifer and her friends Sue and Lisa would be waiting for me after school. They’d throw my books in the street, give me a pink belly, take my money, and generally bully me. In fact, sprinting home the long way to avoid them became a big part of my training regime. I learned a lot about the value of being a gracious loser from watching how Jennifer reacted to me taking her spot on the wrestling team.

When I got home it was a little after 5PM. My mom and dad were watching television in the living room and they were just projecting the country for Ronald Reagan. The polls hadn’t even closed in California yet, but it looked like a huge landslide for Reagan. They projected him as the winner and my usually stoic dad turned to look at me with tears trickling down from his eyes to say, “He won. Reagan did it!”

“He sure did dad,” I said smiling ear to ear, “He sure did.”

Congressman Jack Kimble Speaks Out on Egypt

2011-02-02T18:15:00.000-08:00

The events coming out of Egypt must give us all pause. From fear of terrorism, to fear of a worldwide Muslim takeover, to fear of high gas prices, the United States has much at stake in the battle to control Egypt. Even though I am terribly upset that Egyptians taking to the streets to protest an oppressive government has been taken to heart by so many liberals, while last year's tea party rally in Washington was not. I do get it.

As Americans, it is very simple to look on the protesters getting attacked in Egypt and feel sympathy for them. We're Americans that's what we do. Most of us would like to be John Wayne and go over there and tell those inciting violence "knock it off before I knock you out." However, there are some serious issues that I hope the Obama administration has considered.

1. Mohamed al Baradie -He has emerged as one of the leaders in the protest movement. For those of you who don't remember, al Baradie was head of the International Atomic Energy Agency who kept telling us Iraq had abandoned their weapon program before the war. He wound up with egg on his face when we eventually invaded. Why did he provide cover for Saddam Husseim? and what are his motivations here?

2. The Muslim Brotherhood - I do not know much about this organization, but they sound like they are Islamic to me. Can we afford to have Egypt become a Muslim country? There is no doubt if the Brotherhood has their way that is exactly what will happen and if it does, we become that much closer to having Sharia law enforced on the entire planet.

3. Relations with the United States - Egypt has long been an ally of the United States and it is important that it remains one. If Egypt wants a real Democracy, that's fine, but a real Democracy will continue their close relationship with the United States and if they don't, they may need to be overthrown.

I won't go far enough to condemn the protesters, but these troubling questions need answers before we can really support their rebellion. I do want to withdraw earlier comments I made that the struggle for Democracy in Egypt was because of George W. Bush. I can see now, that this instability is clearly Obama's fault. The other day Ann Coulter had a great point and that remains a huge sticking point for me, “Mob riots like this,” she warned, “have never led to something good.”

Representative Kimble on Martin Luther King Jr.

2011-01-17T09:00:00.000-08:00

The details of Martin Luther King's assassination are lost to history. The where, when, and how may never be known, but that's not really important to the legacy of Dr. King. What's sad about his assassination is that by silencing his voice much to young, his assassin deprived future generations of hearing Martin Luther King's voice on the issues that are important to our generations.

It's hard to think back, but in the time of Martin Luther King racism was a serious problem in the Untied States. As a Republican who believed in equality for all, this was something that Dr. King could not abide. King spent his life on a crusade against the horrors of racism. The question remains though, in our world where racism has long been eradicated what would Martin Luther King focus his attentions on now.

We have to wonder how Martin Luther King would have reacted if faced with the public workers who serviced his Birmingham, Alabama home were protecting ineffective employees or calling a strike that stopped vital public services from getting to the people who paid for them. How would conservative Republican Dr. King have reacted to public employees driving up his taxes and the taxes of the people who he fought so hard to free from the shackles of racism?

With his dream of black children and white children being able to play together achieved outside of North Carolina, I believe that Dr. King would have thrown himself into the civil rights movement of our day--specifically education reform and curtailing the power of public employee unions.

Dr. King would have been thrilled to see a program like Teach For America, that allows young black children to be taught by the most promising Ivy League educated graduate white kids who spend two years bringing education to urban districts before going on to better paying jobs.

Dr. King would have been a huge supporter of charter schools that may increase segregation in schools, but in doing so allow black children to get extra memorization, math, and reading by not subjecting them to arts programs, social studies, and other time wasting subjects so prevalent in affluent white schools.

Dr. King would have stood with Bill Gates and Michelle Rhee as they called for putting a quality teacher and 40-50 students in every public school in America. He would have been thrilled to have the support of public minded billionaires and he would have worked to cut their taxes so that they could donate even more money to education reform.

As Martin Luther King himself said, "When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

Isn't it the time to be free from public employee unions now once and for all?

Happy New Year from Congressman Kimble

2010-12-31T16:47:00.000-08:00

As we all gather round and sing Old Lane Sign, it is prudent for us to remember just what we accomplished in 2010 and to look forward to all that we will do in 2011. It has been a great year for us as a country. Together, we finally put a check on President Obama and the Democrats and I have no doubt that prosperity just around the corner.

Disaster was barely avoided at the 12th hour when it looked like the Bush tax cuts would expire, depriving many wealthy Americans of their hard earned cash. The Obama administration continues to run up a huge debt. I don't have any idea how they spend money so fast.

On a personal note, things on the home front have greatly improved for me. My relationship with my wife has fully recovered from the incident of AIPAC 2009 and if anything it's stronger than ever since she began taking separate vacations to hike the Appalachian Trail. She always comes back from her me time refreshed like a whole new person.

I have joined the Board of Directions of Last Stand for Children First, to try and get billionaires voices heard in the struggle to reform our schools. After they have reformed education, I hope we can move on to the police department. It really seems to me that when Congress is in session, Congressmen should get sirens.

I had a feud with Jonathan Capehart in September as the result of a misunderstanding on Twitter, but I think we've agreed to put it behind us and move on. All and all, it's been a great year for most all Americans and 2011 promises to be better still.

A Christmas Treat from Congressman Kimble and Nate Peele

2010-12-24T12:17:00.000-08:00

I made this video with Nate Peele of www.thatsrightnate.com. He's a great guy and was hugely important in my campaign. Sadly, he neglected his own blog to get his up and running:

Come they told me pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
A new-born king to see pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
Our finest gifts we bring pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
Rum-pum-pum-pum, rum-pum-pum-pum

Come they told me pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
A new-born king to see pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
Our finest gifts we bring pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
to lay before the king pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
Rum-pum-pum-pum, rum-pum-pum-pum
so to honour him pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
when we come

Little baby pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
I stood beside him there pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
I played my drum for him pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
I played my best for him pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
Rum-pum-pum-pum, rum-pum-pum-pum
And he smiled at me pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
me and my drum

Merry Christmas from the GOP
2 Years from now, you know we'll see
See the election of Sarah Palin
See the day, when men of good means
Pay less tax, pay less tax again

2012, can it be
Everyone must be made aware
That the rich do more than their share
Do so much for their fellow man
Let's cut all their taxes we can

I pray my wish will come true
For Boehner and McConnell too
We'll see President Palin
See the day when men of good means
Pay less tax, Pay less tax again

2012, can it be

Jack Kimble's Christmas Message

2010-12-23T21:05:00.000-08:00

No matter how much is going on in the world around us, the holiday season offers us a chance to pause, give thanks for our good fortune, and spend time with our friends and families. This is truly what the season should be about.

Every year, Kerry, and I find ourselves thinking about our men and women in uniform. This will be the last year that our military will be able to celebrate a wholesome family oriented 100% straight Christmas, but we know it is still so hard for so many our brave men and women to be away from home. If you are a Christian in a Muslim country this Christmas, it is a great time to proselytize and expose them to your Christian faith.

This year, we're also particularly mindful that many in our state and in our country are celebrating the holidays under difficult economic circumstances. And I'm going to urge those of you without jobs to get up early in the morning December 26 and check out those want ads. No job is going to find you, you have to find the job. Pay extra attention that you are clean shaven and not slovenly looking or smelling of holiday spirits.

For now, though, I want to thank all of you for your support and friendship. And from the Kimbles to your family, Merry Christmas, and best wishes for a great new year. Four our Jewish friends who are celebrating Hanaka tomorrow or our African-American friends celebrating Kwanzaa, may you also have a joyous season and may the peace of Jesus Christ be upon us all.

Congressman Jack & Kerry Kimble

P.S. If you are wanting to send me a gift, please consider sending cash to my campaign fund. If you want to send John Boehner a gift, a cute poster satirizing Two and a Half Men and referring to him as John Crier is not a good idea.

The Amalgamated Singers

2010-12-18T20:25:00.000-08:00

It has been a most trying day. The repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell may have been heralded as a positive by 77% of the nation, but the other 33% of us are not the least bit happy. Fortunately, today I also got an amazing Christmas gift.

In the early 1960s, before I was born, my mother was in a band called The Amalgamated Singers. They released only one album called Office Romance and it is incredibly hard to find. I had heard it growing up, but owning a copy for myself has been an elusive quest to say the least. Today, I received a copy in the mail from a delightful young lobbyist who knew how much I wanted a copy of my mother's own record.

The Amalgamated Singers were formed in 1960 by my mother and 4 other musicians who believed that folk musicians of the time focused too much on blue collar issues and liberal social causes. Their music attempted to give the other side of things. Songs like The Mine Owner's Lament, Tax Bracket Blues, and How We Broke the Strike of '92 gave encouragement to white collar workers and professionals. They were the only folk group to sing about the need for a strong nuclear deterrent against Soviet expansion.

Sadly, like a shooting star they were gone too fast. They broke up by 1962 and my mom had my older brother and quit performing, but hearing her voice on The Mine Owner's Lament was a treat today as she bemoaned the difficulties of finding miners to replace those dead in a collapse.

Jack Kimble's Message to Freshmen Congressmen

2010-12-06T21:14:00.000-08:00

As GOP Pledge Chair, I feel very fortunate that I am not only given an opportunity to help our Congressmen bond, but also to help them understand some of the complex decisions that we must make as legislators if we're to keep to our legislative strategy this Congress. I made this short two minute video to brief them on a myriad of Republican positions.

Congressman Jack Kimble Issues Statement on Turkey Drop Calamity

2010-11-24T18:28:00.000-08:00

I am saddened to be issuing a statement like this on what should be a joyous day or at least the day before a joyous day. Today at noon, we attempted to give away 20 live turkeys at the Oakdale Shopping Center to the great people of the 54th District. Unfortunately, it was unknown to myself and to my staff that it common practice at turkey farms to clip the wings of the birds. The damage was both severe and unavoidable.

Shortly after noon, the first turkeys were dropped from our helicopter. The first turkey went through the windshield of a 2001 Ford Focus Hatchback. The turkeys hit the ground like bags of wet cement, which not only caused destruction, but incited a panic in the crowd. 4 people were injured including twelve-year-old Jerry Bell of Heritage Valley who suffered a broken clavicle and concussion when struck with one of the birds.

After the first 12 birds fell, and seeing the devastation below, I ordered the helicopter to land so that I could assess the damage. Seeing a very upset and anxious crowd, I tried to make things better by placing the 8 remaining turkeys on the ground next to the helicopter, but was astounded to see the turkeys acting with an intelligence and coordination that I would not have thought possible. The turkeys began to peck and to claw the nearby attendees and we were forced to take the helicopter back to the air in order to avoid them ourselves. Several of the injuries were the result of people trying to hang onto the helicopter as we ascended. There simply was not enough room to take everybody with us.

Contrary to rumors, there were no fatalities at the event and most who came had a great time. We take full responsibility for the damage to property and the injuries suffered by people attending the event. Before Operation Christmas Ham, we will be reviewing all safety procedures and making sure that the problems of today are not repeated in the future. I wish everybody a Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow, whether you are at home with family or recuperating from injuries at the hospital.

Thanksgiving Turkey Drop

2010-11-23T17:46:00.000-08:00

It's going to be a difficult Thanksgiving for a lot of people this year. The Obama economy has us all on edge, the liberal atheist agenda to turn Thanksgiving into a godless "Turkey Day" continues, and even traveling for Thanksgiving has become an arduous process. That's why I am delighted to announce that my office will be doing our First Annual Turkey Drop on Wednesday November 24th at the Oakdale Shopping Center at noon.

Thanksgiving has always been a very important holiday to me. After conquering a Trans-Atlantic voyage, a harsh winter, savage Indians, and French colonists, the Pilgrims had a celebration to give thanks to the Lord who had given them so much. They even shared their blessings with the local Indians in the spirit of true American hospitality.

We will be providing 20 farm raised turkeys, which will be dropped from helicopter to the parking lot where lucky attendees can try to grab the turkeys as they fly down to the ground below.

This is my way of helping those of you who are in need this holiday season, but obviously not everybody can win a turkey. However, we're going to have to have all sorts of fun and activities for the whole family including a speech on economic policy by myself. Come on out for a fun filled afternoon, and walk away with your own Thanksgiving turkey.

Jack Kimble Named GOP Pledge Chairman as Orientation Begins

2010-11-14T20:44:00.001-08:00

In a highly anticipated move, House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) named 3 term Representative Jack Kimble (R-CA) as the GOP pledge chairman for the 112th Congress. With a very large freshman class with over 85 members, it will be up to Congressman Kimble and Speaker Boehner to help keep the new Representatives in line and united.

"A lot of times, people look at pledging as a time of heavy binge drinking while being quizzed on Atlas Shrugs, but the truth is, it's also a time where Representatives bond together. If we're to come together as one party, those nights spent out on the lawn in your boxer shorts with your face painted Republican red are important," said Kimble who will be responsible for hazing and educating the new males while Jean Schmidt (R-OH) will help to initiate the 7 new women to the House.

"We have amazing turnaround that must be done with respect to reforming our government and make it once again conforming with the beautiful mandate of our constitution," said Freedom Works founder Dick Armey, a former former House majority leader.

"This is a chance to consolidate our understandings," Armey said, urging the new members to stick together and to put up with a little hazing from the more seasoned Congressmen.

The tradition of pledging new freshmen goes back over 100 years, but really came to the fore under former House Speaker Dennis Hastert who is said to have wrestled every single member elected to Congress for the first time during his tenure. Under Speaker Pelosi, the tradition waned a bit, but Congressman Kimble is aiming to make this a pledge class to remember.

"I felt a bit disappointed that I missed out on Hastert, but there are some old traditions that we have to follow. I've had my staff calling liquor stores, thrift shops, and petting zoos to get everything we need together. A lot of what we do is secret to outsiders, but if you watch C-Span don't be surprised to see a Congressman dressed at Hulk Hogan or Little Bo Peep or a group of freshmen addressing the floor and then singing a Rick Astley song. It'll be a lot of fun for us."

Introducing Kimble as Rush Chairman during a dinner in Statuary Hall in the Capitol, Boehner said that 2010 is "no ordinary year, and this is no ordinary freshman class. I feel very confident putting them in the capable hands of Congressman Kimble and look forward to having the freshman serve us at parties throughout the year."

Jack Kimble Victory Speech Transcript

2010-11-02T18:07:00.000-07:00

[Jack Kimble has been projected the winner of the 54th District Election with a 71% - 27% lead with 3% of the precincts reporting]

Thank you! We did it! [Applause]

Yes! Thank you! I will try and speak loudly. I'm happy that we have our results early enough for many of you to get home and in bed before 9PM. My first message is to my Democrat colleagues. [Boos]

No, please. Let me speak [Applause]

I came to Washington, and didn't know what to expect. I saw a lot of people hating me, and didn't no what to feel about that, so I guess I didn't like you none too much either. During this campaign I saw a lot of you changing, the way you felt about me, and the way I felt about you. This election there were two guys killing each other, but I guess that's better than 20 million, so I guess what I’m trying to say is that if I can change, and you can change maybe we can both change. [Applause]

This night wouldn't have been possible without the love and support of my wife Kerry who is been my guiding light this past year. It's no secret that this hasn't been an easy year for us, but she stood with me. [Applause]

To the voters who came out and voted, I couldn't have done it without you. I will continue my fight in Washington and we will get that fluoride removed from the drinking water and we will remove all that cumbersome regulation that drives up the price of baby formula. We will balance the budget and we will due it while cutting taxes. The era of the free ride is over. Unemployment insurance was supposed to be a safety net for working Americans, not a free ride for the jobless. We will be ending this. [Applause]

For my father, who has always been my greatest financial supporter, I have nothing but immense gratitude for what you have given me. For Jin, Wu, and my new financial backers we welcome your support and look forward to closer ties between our two countries [Applause]

To Dan Fagen, you ran a great race. I admired your decision to donate a kidney a mere 3 hours before our second debate, but remember donating a kidney is elective surgery. I apologize for the audits that I called for on the battered women's shelter. [Applause]

Goodnight America!! Stay Free!!

Congressman Kimble Urges You to Get Out the Vote if You Can

2010-11-01T17:01:00.000-07:00

One of the most important institutions in this country is the right to vote. It's the way for ordinary citizens to have a great impact on the course of the most powerful nation on this planet. There is nothing more important to the survival of the Republic than people making their voices heard...ordinarily anyway.

This time around, we're at the turning point. Today Gallup released a poll that showed on the generic ballot, Republicans were ahead of the Democrats by 15 percentage points. Now, the good news is that a point in the Gallup poll is equal to a 10 seat pickup in the House of Representatives. This means that after tomorrow we will go from 255-178 Democrats to 328-105 Republicans. This means that we will have a big enough gap to overturn vetoes and even more importantly I will have 150 vacated offices to potentially choose from.

So please get out the vote if you can. When I realized the huge margin of victory we were heading for, I was kind of hoping to sleep in late, but as a politician running for a seat, the press wants to film me voting. Do your best to get out to the polls and vote tomorrow, but even if you can't be sure to tune in and watch the victory. If low voter turnout knocks us down to 145 or even 140 seats picked up, it'll still be amazing.

New Final Push Campaign Commercial

2010-10-30T21:23:00.000-07:00

With time running out, we launched our final English language commercial, urging everybody to get out there and vote Kimble. Following the lies of our opponent's latest ad, we felt it was time to get our message out.

What a bunch of lies and half-truths. I think it just shows the desperation in Dan Fagen's campaign.

Congressman Kimble Suspends Robocalling Activity

2010-10-17T20:40:00.001-07:00

I have suspended all use of my office's robocall machines following the events of the last four days and I wish to offer my most sincere and humble apologies to the residents of the 54th district. On Wednesday night we accidentally set our new robocall machine to make calls between 3AM and 6AM rather than 3-6PM. That mistake was followed up early Friday morning at the same hours when a recording intended for my wife with a grocery list was sent out.

Those were technical glitches. The drunk robocalling that I did at 2AM this morning was inexcusable. I see that my opponent wasted no time putting it up on Youtube so I am playing it here in its entirety as well. I admit that I was drunk, but I did not drive. Furthermore, you can see that it was my love of my district that I was calling to express. If I am guilty of anything, perhaps it is loving the 54th District too much.

Congressman Kimble's Comments to Knights of Columbus

2010-10-11T17:44:00.001-07:00

This evening was the annual Columbus Day Dinner for the Knights of Columbus Council 11347 at Haney's Crossing. The Knights provide a valuable service to the community and demonstrate the moral backbone that the 54th District is known for. Tonight Congressman Kimble addressed the Knights at their Knights Hall.

Father Daley, Knights, and family members, I am honored to be here speaking tonight before such a respected and well known organization. I will keep my comments brief, but I thought it most appropriate today to talk about Christopher Columbus.

Way back in 1492, there was no cable, no video games, no Ipods. What people used to get through their day was faith. It was this faith that lead Christopher Columbus to discover America so that we might all worship God as we saw fit. Columbus was a great hero, but I wonder what he'd say if he was alive today.

Would Columbus recognize America today. How would he react to seeing a country he worked so hard to discover becoming completely overrun with illegal aliens? What would he feel about Americans having to learn Spanish just to be able to communicate? If Columbus knew these things would he even bother to sail across the Ocean to come here?

In the name of Columbus, we must take back our country. We can begin doing it in November by voting for politicians who have zero tolerance for the tide of illegal immigration that threatens us so. Let's return this country to the way it should be. Let's make this country one that Christopher Columbus would recognize. Thank you.

Soviet Press Targets Congressman Kimble

2010-10-03T20:57:00.000-07:00

In yet another sign of President Obama's failing foreign policy, Congressman Jack Kimble has been attacked by the Russian media as a tool of the decadent capitalist Western society. The website lenta.ru has been running a post on their website for the past 3 weeks that refers to Congressman Kimble as "an enemy of the proletariat" and "a tool of the military industrial complex determined to increase American power and global hegemony."

It had been hoped that the Soviets had abandoned their attacks on the West after Ronald Reagan and George Bush Sr. had won the Cold War. Evidently, this is a sign of increasing strained relations that must be seen for the grave matter it is. Congressman Kimble is demanding that the State Department look into this matter and take whatever actions it deems necessary including sanctions against Russia.

Kimble Wins Second Debate

2010-10-02T20:54:00.000-07:00

A FOX-15 poll, showed that Congressman Kimble clearly won tonight's debate 52% to 48% despite obvious sympathy for the challenger's medical situation.

Dirk Thunderstone: Hello, I'm Dirk Thunderstone of FOX-15. Welcome to a special U.S. Congressional debate co-presented by public radio station 89.3 KWOT. Joining me to ask questions is Steve Larmer. He is a news editor at KWOT and host of his own weekly political show. Thanks for being here.

Steve Larmer: Hello.

Thunderstone: And of course, we have our candidates: the incumbent Republican Representative Jack Kimble, seeking his third term. Senator, thank you for being here.

Jack Kimble: Thank you, Dirk.

Thunderstone: And his challenger is the Democrat Daniel Fagen, who I must add is here against doctor's wishes after donating a kidney earlier this afternoon. Mister Fagen is joining us from St. Kilian's Hospital where his is under close observation and heavily medicated. Are you feeling up to this Dan?

Daniel Fagen: I'm on the road to recovery Dirk. I am very strong pain medication right now and I'm feeling a bit groggy and a little gas pain and bloating. I have a catheter draining urine from my bladder to a collecting bag in order to measure my remaining kidney’s urine output. I'm ready to debate though.

Thunderstone: So, Congressman Kimble has opted to take the first question in our debate. The second question will go to Daniel Fagen.

Daniel Fagen: Oh good....Ah....ooh

Larmer: Mister Kimble, on the economy and jobs, you are a big advocate of cutting government regulation of business. Can you give us some examples of regulations that you think should be reduced, or eliminated? Would you include any regulations designed to protect the environment, worker safety or product quality?

Kimble: Well certainly there are many reasons for a rational regulatory policy. But unfortunately we see too many cases where regulations have run amok, and they are costing us jobs. Let us look at coal mining.

For years, coal mining has created jobless for millions of Americans regardless of hygene or dental health. From the Appalachian Mountains to the great Magnesium mines of our district, miners have gone into the ground to fuel our economy knowing that their life would be tough, but at the same time that the desire to get away from their backwards lifestyle would drive one of their children to the NFL.

Now, mining has been regulated to the point where all the adventure has been taken out in the name of safety. Companies find their hands tied by regulations. You know the Chinese aren't concerned with such niceties. Their word for mining disaster is the same as their word for opportunity.

Larmer: Excuse me for the–

Kimble: The same word as opportunity

Larmer: Excuse me for the interruption, but are you saying that our mines are too safe?

Kimble: Yes I am. I'm using this example to say that when we have something like the Endangered Species Act, is just one example, of course we need to protect our endangered species. But many of them are really good eating. We should focus more of our attention on animals that aren't very tasty.

Thunderstone: Sir, here, I do want to ask you a tax question, I'm sure we'll get into that. In 2006, at the Ponds Institute, you said that an Internet tax was probably unrealistic not to tax it forever and ever. How would you institute an Internet tax, and when would it begin?

Kimble: Well, I have never been in favor of an Internet tax. I said it's a bad idea.

Thunderstone: But you said it's inevitable.

Kimble: What I said was, in the year 2006, you must remember that in the year 2006, at that time, sort of at the height of the dot-com boom, the concern that many Republicans, as well as Democrats had – it turned out to be an unfounded concern – was that brick-and-mortar businesses were going out of business and that everything was going to go onto the Internet, and so there was a concern that tax revenue would plummet.

It turned out to be an unfounded concern. I was working on a bipartisan basis to try and find the right answer, and what I said at the time was that the only way we should ever consider taxing the Internet, something I oppose, was to first overhaul the entire tax system. Those were very different times.

Thunderstone: All right.

Kimble: You know if I can quote Bobby Knight, "I think that if rape is inevitable, relax and enjoy it."

Thunderstone: Good Lord...Uhm thank you Congressman,

Larmer: Mister Fagen, also on the economy, some liberal economists are saying that the economy is so weak that we need another large-scale government stimulus package. Do you agree with them? And if so, why this package wasn't enough.

Fagen: Very good question. I would answer it this way. When President Obama took over and the Democrats joined him in the Congress, they were facing a bleeding of 700,000 jobs a month. They were facing a situation where credit was frozen, and so they stepped forward and over Congressman Kimble's objections they did pass– they took a number of actions.

They did pass a stimulus and I believe it saved us from a Great Depression, but in trying to reach out to the Republicans, Congress made it too small. I would like to see a targeted stimulus package. People are suffering. From 99ers who are cut off from unemployment benefits to...

Larmer: Mister Fagen, excuse me for the interruption–

Fagen: Yes. Yes, certainly.

Larmer: But, after those two years of a Democrat in the White House administration, we are saddled with a federal deficit around $1.3 trillion. What will you do as a member of this Senate to shrink this deficit?

Fagen: Yes. That is what was inherited from George Bush. He took a Clinton surplus and 23 million jobs created and we were handed that $1.3 trillion deficit, and I do have many ideas, but you can't fight two wars cut taxes on the wealthiest Americans, and do Medicare Part D at the same time and not create a huge deficit.

You’ve got to cut out the wasteful spending. We've got to end the two wars. That will be a trillion dollars over the next 10 years. You've got to recover money from contractors who are ripping us off, like Halliburton overcharged $200 million for fuel for our troops in Iraq. So we can gain about a trillion on that.

Thunderstone: A trillion dollars. Yes, that'll help to pay down this deficit. But the ongoing concerns are about what problems must be cut or scaled back in order to meet these deficit concerns. Apart from what you’re talking about, where are these cuts to be made?

Fagen: The war will be a trillion dollars; collecting from people who are ripping off the government and other uncollected payments to the government is another trillion dollars. Stopping tax breaks to the millionaires, and the billionaires, tax breaks that my opponent supports – that’s almost another trillion. So you go on and on. We should end tax breaks to companies who ship jobs overseas.

Larmer(crosstalk): Would you cut federal spending, senator?

Fagen (crosstalk): Tax breaks that– yes.

Larmer: Would you cut federal spending, would you freeze the pay of civilian government workers? Those are ideas from Congressman Kimble

Fagen: Yes. I’ve seen his budget recommendations – they're a disaster for California. They would cause draconian cuts in Social Security and Medicare, and that's not from me, it's form the Center on Budget Priorities. He said he actually wants to fine the unemployed. If they're unemployed how are they going to get the [Fart]....I'm sorry I'm still very gassy from the operation.

Thunderstone (crosstalk): All right. Let's– Senator, let me go to Miss–

Fagen (crosstalk): So, we are very different on this, yes.

Thunderstone: Let me go to Congressman Kimble, then, and find out how different you are. Congressman Kimble you talk about extending the Bush tax cuts to everyone, also cutting the deficit. There have been analysts, including the Tax Policy Center, that said you cannot do both at the same time without virtually shutting down most of government. Where do you make those cuts to make both of those things happen?

Kimble: Well, let me respond to a couple things that Daniel Fagen said. First of all, with, I am not an apologist for the spending in the Bush years, but let us remember that our deficit has grown to $13 trillion in just the last two years. Obama never should have started counting the wars in the budget. Let us remember that, with regard to the stimulus, both Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh have said it was a failure, and since the stimulus bill passed. My opponent loves to talk about my record, but what about his record? Why as a Life Source pilot, do so many of the patients who fly with him die?

Thunderstone: Apart from his record, where is it that you would cut? Would you cut the military? Would you cut Social Security? Would you cut Medicare? Homeland Security has accounted for some of the biggest federal growth in the last 10 years.

Kimble: We need to keep Homeland Security strong. I believe al-qaeda is currently trying to infiltrate our retirement homes. This is not a time for being lax.

Where would I cut? First, let's recognize that the unemployed are a drain on our economy and start fining them. I also know that the greatest way to cut the economy is to lower taxes on the wealthy so I would reduce taxes on the top 33% of the country to 0.01% I would call on the federal government as well to only hire one person for every two that leave government service and I would ask that that person be Chinese. They are damn good workers.

Fagen: Oh I think I saw a butterfly

Thunderstone: Mister Fagen, please do not interrupt. You will have a chance to discuss your own opinions.

Fagen: The colors

Larmer: Oh my

Thunderstone: Congressman, thank you very much. It appears that Mr. Fagen is under the effects of his pain medication and we are going to wrap up the debate early. Would you like to make a closing statement.

Fagen: Weee! I farted again.

Kimble: Well thanks so much to all of you for this opportunity. I am sorry that the people of the 54th District were cheated because of Mister Fagen's condition. Donating a kidney, frankly is elective surgery.

You know, in my working life I started out in the olive fields, I was held accountable for my work by my boss who as my father was particularly tough on me. And when I became his vice-president after many, many weeks of hard work, I was held accountable by millions of customers, and thousands of employees.

I am the best chance this district has for fighting the Obama agenda and returning our country back to the way it was in the 19th century. Our farmers still don’t have water, our children aren’t getting educated well, our small businesses are being crushed. People can’t find a job. Our debt is spiraling out of control.

Do you really believe a teacher by day Life Source helicopter pilot by night who runs a string of shelters for abused women and children will stand up to Obama? I don't. We can get out economy going again, we can help small businesses begin hiring again, we can become the most innovative district in the most innovateve state and the most innovative nation in the world again, and we can change Washington and hold them accountable, but first we have to change the people we send to Washington except for me who should be sent back to Washington..

Thunderstone: Quickly, Congressman

Kimble: You got that I should be sent back to Washington, right?

Thunderstone: Yes, Mister Fagen are you up to making a closing statement?.

Fagen: One second [Fart] Ah, yes I am. I'm groggy and I'm sorry that I'm so gassy today. I am sure that the press's main story will be about what a mess I was tonight, but despite this nothing has come out of any of my of my orifice's as revolting as what has been spewed forth by Jack Kimble.

The Congressman isn't a bad guy, but he's clueless as to the needs of this district. He may currently be getting answers from one of the Super Mario Brothers or that may be my medication, but in either case those answers are wrong for the 54th District. I'm losing and I'm losing bad. If I had a fighting chance, I might have put off this operation, but I tell you this, we will rise up and the people of this district will be heard. I want Jello. Cherry or Lime please.

Thunderstone: Ms. Fagen, thank you very much. Hope you feel better. Congressman Kimble, it's been a pleasure. My thanks too to Steve Larmer. This special U.S. Senate debate presented by La Opinion and 89.3 KWOT in Groves Hill. Don't forget, Election Day is November 2. Beginning next week, you can request those vote-by-mail ballots. Either way, be sure to vote. I'm Dirk Thunderstone. On behalf of my colleague, Steve Larmer, and the candidates, Jack Kimble and Daniel Fagen, thank you all very much for listening.

New Campaign Commercial - Truth

2010-09-28T18:47:00.000-07:00

Celebrate Banned Books Week 9/25 - 10/2

2010-09-27T19:59:00.000-07:00

One of our most sacred rights as Americans is the right to ban that, which we find objectionable, immoral, or in some way harmful to our children and our communities. Many great patriots have given their all to protect our right to say, "No your ideas are harmful and we will not be subjected to them any longer."

Americans have used this cherished right in burning and in simply banning a wide variety of books for language, occult, anti-Americanism and a wide variety of sins. This week has been set aside to celebrate banning books and to thank those brave churches, school boards, politicians, and librarians who have looked out for their neighbors by banning the objectionable.

As Americans we all must step forward to ban that, which we do not want to tolerate in our schools or communities. Let your voice be heard by being vocal in your community. Join your city council or library board and set the standards for your own town.

Kimble's Corner Store

2010-09-22T18:22:00.001-07:00

I know that I am extremely fortunate to have a father that is willing to bankroll my campaigns. However, with the Bush tax cuts set to expire, he's let me know that I'm going to have to find other sources of campaign finance. I've talked to some really great lobbyists who have been happy to contribute, but I have to admit some of them want me to do things that even I find objectionable like allowing for the sale of shrimp caught in the BP spill as long as it's labeled "pre-marinated". By contributing to my campaign you will not only help lead the Republicans to victory, you will keep me from making deals with less than scrupulous lobbyists---this is a win/win proposition.

Stay Free America!!
Jack Kimble

Waiting for Superman at Brewster Park Cinema 14

2010-09-20T18:36:00.000-07:00

Every once in a generation a film comes along that challenges you. I think Waiting for Superman is such a movie. I believe is our generation's Birth of a Nation. I'm encouraging all parents to see it as it helps to show parents just how kind and nurturing a corporate CEO like a Bill Gates or a Walton family can be while showing the greed of teachers and the unions that represent them. Waiting for Superman opens this Friday and if you bring in proof of a teacher failing you or your child in some way, you will receive a free child's size popcorn. I'll be there and happy to talk about my education policies.

Elections or Elective Surgery

2010-09-15T20:47:00.000-07:00

Daniel Fagen claims to be a man of his word, but after agreeing to to a debate with Congressman Kimble, Fagen has ducked the event. The September 18th debate, which was designed to give voters a chance to be informed about the 54th District Congressional Candidates was to be sponsored by the Lions Club and the League of Women Voters.

Unfortunate, Mister Fagen has ducked the debate claiming that he would need to donate a kidney on the scheduled date. Any doctor can tell you that kidney transplants are only vital surgery for the recipient. For the person donating the kidney, it's elective surgery.

Who is Dan Fagen donating his kidney to? According to the Fagen campaign he will be giving his kidney to a single mother with 6 children who has been living at one of Fagen's shelters for battered women and children.

Do not allow Dan Fagen to duck his responsibility to the 54th District voters. Call his campaign headquarters and let him know that we demand answers. Why is he afraid to debate Jack Kimble? Is he ashamed of his own big government liberal policies? We want answers.

Kimble Fundraiser Doesn't Let Terrorists Win

2010-09-12T11:37:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, over 100 guests made their way to the Tennessee Ernie Ford Museum adjacent to Heritage Ice Arena to attend a fundraiser for Jack Kimble's reelection campaign.

The big hits of the evening were the chocolate fountain pictured left, a rocking performance by America tribute band Ventura Highway and taped speeches from Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck recorded earlier in the day at their Alaska fund raiser.

As the band began playing the opening strains of Sister Golden Hair, Congressman Kimble took the stage and shared his 9/11 memories and recalling the courage of the first responders who will forever be remembered as American heroes. Kimble expressed his regret that many of those same first responders were now looking for health care handouts for injuries suffered at Ground Zero.

The night was a huge success taking in over $20,000 for the campaign without the proceeds from the cash bar. With a rather large wet section, the take could be over $30,000.

"It was a great day. Anytime Americans come together like this, the terrorists don't win. When Americans give of their hard earned money to support a strong family values campaign like mine, the lose badly. This is also great news for my father who will be on the hook for less of my campaign costs," said Congressman Kimble.

Oakdale Value Shopper Endorses Jack Kimble

2010-09-12T11:23:00.000-07:00

We're very proud to have a great representative of the fourth estate endorsing our campaign. As we get further endorsements we will keep you informed.

Kimble Wins Debate vs. Fagen

2010-09-04T21:10:00.001-07:00

[In a poll done shortly after the 9/4 debate between Congressman Jack Kimble and notorious businessman Daniel Fagen, results showed 54% of registered voters believed that Congressman Kimble either mostly won or kind of won the debate.]

ROGER HAWKE: Good evening from the Heritage Valley Ice Arena. I'm Roger Hawk of "Rancho Podrido This Week" on Cable Channel 19. Welcome to the first of two debate between Republican Congressman Jack Kimble and Oak Hill resident and Democratic nominee Dan Fagen.

The Kiwanis Club is the sponsor of this event and tonight's discussion will cover a wide range of topics, including domestic and foreign policy matters.

It will be divided roughly into three-minute segments. Each candidate will have 90 seconds to respond to a direct question and then his opponent will receive an additional minute for rebuttal and follow-up. The order has been determined by a coin toss.

The specific subjects and questions were chosen by me and have not been shared or cleared with anyone on the campaigns or on the commission. The audience here in the hall has promised to remain very polite, no cheers, applause, no untoward outbursts, except right at this minute now, as we welcome Congressman Kimble and Dan Fagen

(APPLAUSE)

FAGEN: Nice to meet you.

KIMBLE: It's a pleasure. Your suit is shiny.

FAGEN: Thank you

KIMBLE: Can I touch your suit?

HAWKE: Gentlemen, thank you for coming.

As we have determined by a coin toss, the first question will go to Dan Fagen with a 60-second follow-up from Congressman Kimble.

The economy is the most pressing issue for many California voters. Whether we're still in a recession or a so called jobless recovery, the status quo is not working for the working people of this state. How will you address the economy when elected?

KIMBLE: Let me begin by saying it's great to be here Roger and I love that tie.

I do take issue with the way you singled out the working people of California in your question. Many of my closest friends and family members are independently wealthy. They are suffering too as their investments decrease in value.

You know in 1980, Ronald Reagan invented an economic theory called supply side economics and he showed during his presidency that the best way to improve the economy was to put the hard working men and women of this country to work and the best way to do that is to cut the taxes on the rich.

You see in supply side or trickle down economics, when you allow the wealthy to keep more of their money and they use that money to tip very well--much higher than 15%. In that way, the prosperity that is given to the top income earners trickles down to the masses. That's what this country is built on. I not only favor extending the Bush tax cuts, I am in favor of doubling them. I believe we can afford to pay for them if we begin a program to fine those who choose not to do their fair share--the unemployed.

HAWKE: Thank you, Congressman. I apologize if my use of the term "working people" offended anybody.

Mister Fagen?

FAGEN: Thank you, Roger. And I thank the Kiwanis, also. I appreciate this privilege of being able to be here and speak with the 54th District and I have to say how am I losing to this guy?

The reason that this economy is suffering is because the middle class is an endangered species. CEOs and the wealthy of this country have been overcompensated for at least the past 10 years. It's the rest of us who are feeling the pinch. Only 7% of private employees are in labor unions and benefits keep getting cut. America has for generations been the land of opportunity where people could rise beyond their station. That's gone.

The first thing I want from Washington is an extension of unemployment benefits. There are no jobs out there, we're not fooling anybody. The second thing I want is a second targeted stimulus package like the first one we had before we started negotiating with Republicans who voted against it anyway after we made concessions. Will this increase the debt. Yes it will, but you do not cut your way out of a recession. Leaving our children a legacy of debt is tragic, but leaving them with a feudalistic corporate economy without a middle class is unconscionable.

HAWKE: Mister Fagen how, as congressman, would you work to shrink this gap of polarization which has sprung up in Washington, which you both have spoken about here tonight?

FAGEN: Well, I hate to say it, but that gap isn't going away anytime soon. Extremes and redistricting have eliminated your Lincoln Chaffey Republicans and your Sam Nunn Democrats.

I can tell you that the Republicans have made it their mission for the past two years to say no to the Democrats on everything from health care for 9/11 responders to helping small business. If they win again, they'll be emboldened and the congress will shut down for two years as we await the 2012 election. Our country can't afford this.

As your Congressman, I will work with anybody regardless of party to help the citizens of this great district, but I won't compromise our values just so I can say we got 2 Republican votes.

HAWKE: Congressman Kimble.

KIMBLE: I love corn dogs. Sometimes I'll deep them in sweet mustard, but I also really like them plain. I'm sure many of you were at the Heritage Valley Corn Dog Festival a few weeks back.

I think the corn dog is the most Republican food. You take something good like a hot dog. You make it better by deep frying it. Then you put it on a stick so you can eat it while you're walking around or working. That's why corn dogs sell so well in Republican places like here or Texas.

Now Democrats are more like funnel cake. You just plop it on a plate and toss some sugar on it. You might want some funnel cake after you have another corn dog, but wouldn't you really just have another corn dog?

HAWKE: You have another 30 seconds Congressman. Did you wish to expand on your answer?

KIMBLE: No. Well other than to say, I could really go for a corn dog.

HAWKE: How have your experiences before entering public service helped you to understand the people of the district you represent.

KIMBLE: I'm glad you asked that. As a businessman, I learned how to make the hard decisions and how to earn a full day's pay by doing a full day's work. I did a lot of things in business that were important and essential to making money and profit in a professional type manner and in doing so the value to taxpayers and employees of our company was maximized further more.

My opponent doesn't know what it's like to be a businessman behind blue ties. I know that their dreams are not as empty as their conscious seems to be.

FAGEN: If I may Roger, Baba O'Republican seems to be quoting Who lyrics now. The truth is that the only job he ever had was working for his dad. Unfortunately, when he finally struck out on his own in his 40s, he wound up as our responsibility as tax payers.

My experiences as a teacher as well as a life source pilot on weekends let me look at our educational and health care systems first hand. My work in the peace corps in Uganda taught me a lot about the crises in Africa. All my life has been about service to people and that's why despite coming from a humble background myself, the Daniel and Margaret Fagen Foundation, which I named after my beloved parents has donated over 4.5 million dollars to charity in the past year.

HAWKE: Mr. Fagen, you have the chance to make the first closing statement.

FAGEN: Thank you Roger. As you know, my wife and I operate several shelters for battered women. When you are on the front lines of personal crises it isn't always pretty. Sometimes these women go back to an abusive relationship no matter how much you try and stop them and no matter how much they think they're ready to move on.

I admit that these last two years in Washington haven't been everything I hoped they'd be, but America you were in an abusive relationship when the Republicans were in charge and they took your money, they took your self-respect, and in some cases they took your children in unnecessary war overseas. It might be tempting to be disillusioned and say a pox on both your houses, but I can tell you that if you let people like Congressman Kimble represent you for the next two years, it won't get better. It will get worse. Send me to Washington to serve you and I promise I'll spend my time trying to fix things and not trying to win political points.

HAWKE: Congressman Kimble, your closing remarks.

KIMBLE: Life is one big political primary for God. Let's pray that we all get the nomination. I wish we had more time to go over the issues tonight. We haven't even talked about whether President Obama is a Muslim or not.

I know there are a lot of senior citizens watching this debate so let me just say that Obama's agenda is terrifying. Not only will your medical decisions be made by death panels whose main interest will be in harvesting your organs, but Obama is working with Nancy Pelosi right now to pass a law making it illegal for grandchildren to visit their grandparents.

My opponent is great at fancy speechifying, but I know that the voters of the 54th District are far too sophisticated to fall for his lies and half truths. Together, we can take back America to a better time when people weren't so uppity and music wasn't so loud. Thank you.

HAWKE: That ends tonight's debate. We want to thank the folks here at the Heritage Valley Ice Arena, and the Kiwanis

Thank you, Congressman Kimble and Mister Fagen. Good night, everybody.

Premier of New Campaign Commercial

2010-08-24T11:26:00.000-07:00

We stayed on the issues and went low key. The understated piano music was my idea after John Cougar Mellencamp's lawyers complained about us using Hurt So Good as a campaign song.

Voices of the 54th District - Ground Zero Mosque

2010-08-15T18:21:00.000-07:00

The best thing about the Heritage Valley Corn Dog Festival is that I got to talk with so many great people from my district. One thing I asked them about was the attempt to President Obama and others to build a mosque at Ground Zero in New York. I was thrilled to see that while, people in the district were against the mosque, they weren't against Muslims. They realized that half the Muslims in this country are good people and only asked that no new Mosque be built in the same state as such a horrendous tragedy. Click on the picture below to see it full sized.

Congressman Kimble at Corn Dog Festival

2010-08-13T19:32:00.000-07:00

Heritage Valley Corn Dog Festival is such an important part of our community, that I chose it to be the spot where I first announced I was running for the House of Representatives. As always, I will be there again to celebrate this little bit of Americana.

Main Stage

Friday, August 13

5PM - The Saint Augustine Players Present The Choice: A Jack Chick Musical
7PM - Let it Ride (Bachman Turner Overdrive Cover Band)
9PM - Corn Dog Queen Pageant

Saturday, August 14

4PM - Balloon Animals with The Amazing Bill
6PM - Corn Dog and Pie judging
7PM - Ventura Highway (America Cover Band)
9PM - Fireworks Show

Sunday, August 15

11 AM - Corn Dog Mass with Father Jeremy
Noon - Corn Dog Eating Contest
1 PM - Comedy by Jeremy and Steven
3PM - Adrian Schleicter is Englebert Humperdink

In addition to the action on the main stage, there will be a number of attractions for the whole family from face painting to a minstrel show. There are some conservative organizations that I am no stranger too. You may find him chomping down on some delicious fetus cookies at the Right to Life Booth or sampling some anti-wedding cake at the Defense of Marriage Booth. The National Rifle Association and Robert Baird society are here to tell you of a vast conspiracy to take away your guns and turn this country communist respectively. Look for the Heritage Valley Minutemen to stage another illegal alien roundup for the kids. It's fun for the whole family. I hope to see you there.

Congressman Jack Kimble

Congressman Kimble and Senator Graham Fight Against "Anchor Babies"

2010-07-29T19:07:00.000-07:00

South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham and California Congressman Jack Kimble have announced that they are considering a Constitutional Amendment to repeal the 14th amendment. The 14th Amendment grants citizenship to all children born in the United States.

The problem is that these babies are often born to illegal immigrants serving as an anchor to allow the family to become legal immigrants themselves. The 14th amendment which allows birthright citizen was passed during the second half of the 19th century at a time when there was not much immigration in the United States. Now that our borders are practically exploding with immigrants, it's time to stop this antiquated practice.

"I may introduce a constitutional amendment that changes the rules if you have a child here,” Graham said during an interview with Fox News’ Greta Van Susteren. “Birthright citizenship I think is a mistake ... We should change our Constitution and say if you come here illegally and you have a child, that child's automatically not a citizen.”

Asked how intent Graham is on introducing the amendment, the South Carolina Republican responded: “I got to.”

"Talking with Senator Graham has convinced me that a Constitutional Amendment is the way to go," responded Congressman Kimble, "I think we need to go in that direction, but the process is rather slow moving and we need to take emergency action now."

When asked what those emergency actions should be, Kimble responded, "Abortion is not an answer and as a Catholic I don't believe in artificial contraception either. The only way to make sure that immigrants do not have children in this country as 3/4 of the states vote on the convention is to not allow sexually active women or women who have had sex within the past 9 months into the country."

Kimble went on to say, "I am perfectly willing to accept the honor system. I do not think we have to only allow women who are virgins or past child bearing age into the country, but that is certainly one way we could go."

“I'm a practical guy, but when you go forward, I don't want 20 million more 20 years from now,” said Graham. “I want to be fair. I want to be humane. We need immigration policy, but it should be on our terms, not someone else's. I don't know how to fix it all. But I do know what makes people mad, that 12 million people came here, and there seems to be no system to deal with stopping 20 million 20 years from now.”

"Immigration is a threat that previous generations of Americans didn't have to worry about. I believe in following the original intent of the Constitution, but I don't think we can always support the Constitution when it stands in the way of our freedom," concluded Kimble.

Obama Recession Calls for Belt Tightening

2010-07-26T20:11:00.000-07:00

Last week, a surrender was announced. Many unemployed surrendered to the federal government and accepted a handout in the form of extended unemployment benefits. As a fiscal conservative who believes in limited government, I would like to request that instead of taking money from the government, that Americans begin to look at ways they can tighten their belt.

Yes, as a congressman I'm very well compensated for my work and before that I was even better compensated working for my father. When I'm done in congress I will go to K Street where I will be paid even more handsomely as a lobbyist. However, I wasn't always wealthy. When I began work for my father, I did not start at the top.

I remember that Fall when I brought home plane tickets for a vacation to Aspen, how my wife burst into tears. She had had her heart set on Paris and here we would be flying coach to Colorado in the offseason. Fortunately, we were able to upgrade our seats using frequent flier miles and looking back on it, those six weeks in Aspen were some of the happiest of our marriage.

That year we cut corners every way we could. We drank domestic champagne. If we ate lobster, you can be sure it was Canadian and not Maine. We even got by with a once a week cleaning lady instead of a maid.

The point is, if you relax your expectations and your standard of living, the world won't end. If things do rebound for you, you'll appreciate all those things you gave up when you can afford them again. Above all, remember it costs no money to pray or to spend some quality family time together huddling for warmth. If we all do our part, I have no doubt we can keep the Bush tax cuts without leaving future generations saddled with debt.

Voices of the 54th District - Unemployment

2010-07-19T18:28:00.000-07:00

If you live in the 54th District you've seen our newest mailing. I'm very happy with this idea. Instead of giving you my opinions on the issues of the day, Voices of the 54th District lets me see what district voters think. This isn't stacked, we may even get a Democrat or two. However, I think it's important that if I am casting votes for you in Washington, I see what you're thinking on Main Street.

Congressman Kimble Addresses the Pacific Coast Petroleum Institute

2010-05-03T19:17:00.000-07:00

[A speech by Congressman Jack Kimble to the Pacific Coast Petroleum Institute]

My friends, this is not an easy time for any of us. A cataclysm of unspeakable proportions threatens the Gulf of Mexico. Thousands of barrels of oil have spilled into the Gulf and every five days an Exxon Valdez worth of oil spills into the Gulf. The damage is immeasurable and the full impact of this disaster will not be seen for years to come.

It is natural that at this time of crisis our prayers and our sympathies go out to the BP shareholders and board of directors. I see the suffering on the faces of my friends who lobby for them, in the stock ticker, and I want to help in anyway that I can. However, even as a member of the U.S. House of Representatives there is very little I can do to alleviate their suffering.

I am reminded of President Reagan after the Challenger disaster when he said, “Nothing ends here; our hopes and our journeys continue.”

Those words are truer now that ever. We choose to drill for oil offshore not because it is easy, but because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone by using renewable energy, and because as Americans we know we look stupid in small electric cars. As Americans it is our God given right to explore this great country from sea to shining sea and to do so at 14 miles per gallon.

Already, the forces of big government want to use this tragedy as an excuse to apply big government solutions to cleaning up this spill and putting in so called “common sense” regulations into place. Do not be fooled. I heard Rush Limbaugh earlier today and he makes an excellent point, "The ocean will take care of this on its own if it was left alone and left out there," Limbaugh said. "It's natural. It's as natural as the ocean water is."

We know that eventually the oil will simple mix into the waters of the ocean and be so diluted by the huge quantities of water to be harmless, but unfortunately the damage will already be done. Oil prices may be reaching $100 a barrel by mid-Summer and as Americans we cannot accept this.

I am calling on President Obama to work with Republicans in Congress to look for new places where we can drill. We should not rest until every usable drop of oil is extracted from the Earth for it is the lifeblood of our economy. This is a time where we can make no small plans. This is a time for action. This is a time for America to again stand tall. This is a time to drill, baby drill.

Congressman Kimble on Terrance Howard Incident

2010-05-03T19:03:00.000-07:00

This Saturday was the White House Correspondents Dinner and unfortunately I was the victim of some very scandalous gossip involving an incident between myself and Terrence Howard. It was a very awkward evening for me because of the presence of Helen Thomas and I always hate running into exes at public events. Mr. Howard, who is a very gifted African-American actor, was seating at the Fox News table, which was located next to mine. A playful shoving match occurred at one point in the night, which was interpreted by many to be a fight--it was not. I was also not drunk at any point during the evening. Over the course of several hours, 9 Rob Roys is not that much to drink for somebody with a full meal in their stomach. Mostly, it was an exciting evening and both Mr. Howard and I very much enjoyed the hysterical comedy of Jay Leno whose wit knows no racial barrier.

My Contract On America

2010-04-15T20:04:00.000-07:00

Today at the Heritage Valley Tea Party I was lucky enough to be one of the speakers. I was very well-received by a terrific audience when I revealed my Contract On America. If I am reelected to Congress in November, I will make the following promises:

(1) Protest the Constitution: At any point, where I am called out on my opposition to the Obama agenda, I will protest that it is unconstitutional.

(2) Reject Cap & Trade: Despite praising this idea when John McCain was pushing it, I will vote against that and instead refer to our atmosphere as "crunchy"

(3) Demand a Balanced Budget: We should have no problem supporting a balanced budget while fighting two wars and still keep social security and medicare strong if we just eliminate all other federal funding.

(4) Enact Fundamental Tax Reform: Adopt a simple and fair single-rate tax system by scrapping the internal revenue code and replacing it with one that has no words longer than 2 syllables and avoids all those foreign words. The tax forms should also have pictures for when we don't feel like reading.

(5) Restore Fiscal Responsibility & Constitutionally Limited Government in Washington: Create a Blue Ribbon taskforce because there is no better way to limit government than by creating a new committee. We will then follow the Constitution's original meaning and return all land acquired after 1803 to the proper countries. We will demand that France return to us the $15,000,000 dollar purchase price for Louisiana territory plus interest minus a reasonable and appropriate retroactive security deposit for New Orleans.

(6) End Runaway Government Spending: Impose a statutory cap limiting the annual growth in total federal spending to a sum not exceeding the total prize winnings of the preceding year's NASCAR top finisher times 1,0000.

(7) Defund, Repeal & Replace Government-run Broadcasting: I will move to arrange for Ruper Murdoch to take control of NPR and require PBS to broadcast at least 2 hours of programming per night showing older Americans acting cool and solving crimes.

(8) Pass an 'All-of-the-Above' Spelling Policy: We will stop the totalitarian rule of one size fits all spelling in our school system by demanding that teachers accept all variations on a word as long as it sounds kind of right.

(9) Modify Black History Month: Change the focus from black people through history who have overcome great odds to black people through history who didn't have it too bad like Amos McGee who in 1932 bought his own car and became and instant hit with his neighbors in Forest Park, New York.

(10) Stop the Tax Hikes: Permanently repeal all tax hikes that would force corporations to pay federal income taxes. Nearly 1/3 of America's corporations were forced to take on the unfair burden of paying taxes at a time when many unemployed and working poor Americans are ducking their tax liability by not making much money.