Good morning, and thank you for joining me. Many of you in this room are my friends. Many of you in this room know me. Many of you have voted for me or you've canvassed for me or you've supported me.
Now every one of you has good reason to be critical of me. I want to say to each of you, simply and directly, I am deeply sorry for my irresponsible and juvenile behavior I engaged in.
I know people want to find out how I could be so selfish and so foolish. People want to know how I could have said these things to my Congressman Blackburn and to Congressman Pence. And while I have always tried to take full responsibility for my actions, there are some things I want to say.
My references “hoo has”, “naughty bits”, “jugs”, as well as my unfortunate and off key rendition of a song I wrote called “Thanks for the Mammaries” was shameful and an anathema to the families values conservative principles that I have upheld since my unfortunate incident in the LAX parking lot in 2008. I apologize for any hurt I may have caused by my comments, or by the making of “awuga” sounds.
In my defense I can only offer the following explanation. After, a night of very limited sleep because of a house guest, I overheard a conversation between Congressman Pence and Congressman Blackburn in wish Congressman Pence expressed his desire for “hotly contested midterms” I overheard him as saying “hot, big chested interns”. When Congressman Blackburn said, “I never had one of those myself” and they laughed, I took things completely the wrong way and embarrassed both of my colleagues.
My beautiful wife Kerry and I have started the process of discussing the damage caused by my behavior. As Kerry pointed out to me, my real apology to her will not come in the form of words; it will come in the form of expensive jewelry, which I will have to buy her. We have a lot to discuss; however, what we say to each other will remain between the two of us until my memoirs come out sometime in 2011.
I am also aware of the pain my behavior has caused to those of you in this room. I have let you down, and I have let down my supporters. For many of you, especially my friends, my behavior has been a personal disappointment. To those of you who work for me, I have let you down personally and professionally yet again. My behavior has caused considerable worry to the lobbyists who have done so much to support me.
For all that I have done, I am so sorry.
I've had a lot of time to think about what I've done. My failures have made me look at myself in a way I never wanted to before. It's now up to me to make amends, and that starts by never repeating the mistakes I've made. It's up to me to start living a life of integrity. You can support that life, by donating to my 2010 campaign. Holding onto my seat is a key to reigning in Obama’s socialist programs.
I once heard, and I believe it's true, it's not what you achieve in life that matters; it's what you overcome. I believe myself, David Vitter, and Tom Ensign play the part daily of setting an example. Character and decency are what really count.
Parents used to point to me as a role model for their kids. I owe all those families a special apology. I want to say to them that I am truly sorry that those children had to see me acting like a motorboat in a sexually inappropriate way.
As I proceed, I understand people have questions. I understand the press wants to ask me for the details and what I meant by the term “meaty, big, and bouncy.” I understand people want to know whether Kerry and I will remain together. Please know that as far as I'm concerned, Kerry and I have a marriage as solid as a rock. She has explained to me that she needs sometime to clear her head before we can put this behind ourselves and she will be spending the recess hiking the Appalachian Trail and coming to grips with the embarrassment I have put her through.
I recognize I have brought this on myself, and I know above all I am the one who needs to change. I owe it to my district to become a better person. I owe it to those closest to me to become a better man. That's where my focus will be. Towards this end, I will begin taking classes in both cooking and ballroom dancing. I have already begun to start a bodybuilding regime recommended by former Mr. Universe Lou Ferrigno.
I have a lot of work to do, and I intend to dedicate myself to doing it. Part of following this path for me is Catholicism, which my mother taught me at a young age. People probably don't realize it, but I was raised a Catholic, and I actively practiced my faith from childhood until I drifted away from it when Notre Dame was eliminated from BCS contention this season. Catholicism teaches that we have an awful lot to feel guilty for. It teaches me to not eat meat on Friday regardless of how superior Roy Rogers’ hamburgers are to their fish sandwich. Obviously I lost track of what I was taught.
In discussing my situation with Newt Gingrich, I've learned the importance of looking at my spiritual life and keeping in balance with my professional life. I need to regain my balance and be centered so I can save the things that are most important to me, my marriage and my children.
That also means relying on others for help. I've learned to seek support from lobbyists in Washington, and I hope someday to return that support to them that they have given me. I especially want to thank Citibank, Marlboro, and Coca Cola who have been amazing generous corporate underwriters since a recent Supreme Court decision gave them that right.
I want to thank CPAC, House Minority Leader John Boehner, and the Republican Party for their patience and understanding while I work on my private life. I look forward to casting no votes with them in the months and years to come.
Finally, there are many people in this room, and there are many people at home who believed in me. Today I want to ask for your help. I ask you to find room in your heart to one day believe in me again.
Thank you.