Kimble's Corner

One of the keys of my reelection campaign is getting my name out there. Last week, I was on Bobo and Moon Pie’s Morning Mayhem radio show and I thought it went really well. As a service to voters in my district, here’s a transcript:

Bobo: You know I’m not a big fan of politicians.

Traffic Lady Doris: Do you even vote?

Bobo: I vote on American Idol, that’s like the same thing.

TLD: :::Laughing:: Bobo, you’re insane.

Moonpie: What was your first clue Doris? For me it’s that shirt :::laughing:::

Bobo: If I could please continue. This next politician is our own Representative Jack Kimble and I think he’s doing a great job. If you talk to him he’s one politician that actually makes sense.

MP: Then why’s he on with us? :::laughter::

TLD: Yeah, that’s a big mistake ::laughter::

Representative Kimble: Hello, I’ve been listening to this show. What is your intern’s name?

Bobo: Sir Fartsalot.

RK: You guys are insane, but you’re having fun and that’s great to see.

MP: It’s good to see you Congressman. Now, why are you running for reelection?

RK: President Obama has 7 years left in his term. I believe that this country can’t afford to have a business as usual representative that will work with him. I believe we need a representative like myself that will automatically say no regardless of what he proposes. I’ve been out there at tea bagging parties and I’ve seen the disillusionment of many in this district.

Bobo: He said teabagging :::laughter:::

MP: So are you ready to face our listeners congressman?

RJK: I’m looking forward to it.

Conserative Pat: Hey guys, The Morning Mayhem rocks! This blows away the Morning Zoo, Morning Madhouse, and the Morning Crew. :::Honk:: You are the best Congressman. Anybody who stands up to Obama has my vote. You know, I don’t think he was even born in this country.

Bobo: Dp you have a question for the Congressman Pat?

CP: Oh yeah, I was wondering if it’s difficult to balance being a congressman and a family man?

RJK: Well, I’ve known my wife since we were in high school.

TLD: Were you high school sweethearts?

RJK: Actually, we met on vacation. She was from another state.

MP: You know I don’t think I’ve ever seen her.

RJK: She’s a very private person. She supports me completely, but she doesn’t like to be filmed or photographed or appear in public, so I respect her privacy.

Bobo: OK, there’s nothing strange about that. Carl you’re on the Morning Mayhem.

Carl: Thanks Bobo. Congressman Kimble, I had a question about making a campaign donation.

RJK: You know we love to hear that.

Carl: Great. When your mother was staying over last night, she left without taking the money I left for her on the nightstand.

RJK: That isn’t a problem. We can even take paypal or credit card.

Carl: OK, but see your mother was staying over last night and see we were sleeping together and then I was giving her money for it and then oh never mind :::hang up:::

RJK: Thanks for calling. Please don’t forget to donate.

Bobo: Pedro you’re on the Morning Mayhem.

Pedro: I’m a gay man.

TLD: So is my hairdresser.

MP: So is Bobo

Bobo: Hey now…Go ahead with you question Pedro.

Pedro: I wanted to know what the congressman though about Representative Gohmert saying that homosexuality leads to necrophilia?

RJK: I wanted let that get to you. That’s just how he talks. The other day we were trying to decide where to go for lunch. I wanted to go for Thai and he wanted Tex Mex. He told me that eating Tex Mex would lead to necrophilia. Cowboys losing to the Broncos–same thing. He really seems hung up on necrophilia for some reason.

Bobo: OK, there’s nothing weird about that. Cindy, you’re on with Congressman Kimble.

Cindy: Hello Congressman. You’ve got a very sexy voice.

RJK: Thank you Cindy.

Cindy: Congressman, I’m begging for some help here. I’m a single mother. I have 3 children. I’m a freelance graphic artist. I don’t get insurance from work and I can’t afford to buy it. Why won’t you support health care reform so that my children can be covered?

RJK: Do you want health care to be like the DMV or the post office? I don’t think…

Cindy: Congressman I have a driver’s license and I get mail. I don’t have health care.

RJK: You’re a graphic artist right?

Cindy: Yes, I’m freelance though.

RJK: You know, I know of another free lance artist. He was on a long train ride when he decided to draw a mouse.

Cindy: I’m not Walt Disney congressman. I just need health care.

RJK: Well I’m sorry, but we’ll just have to disagree here.

MP: Why are you so opposed to government run health care.

RJK: I think a lot of us our. I know of at least one congressman who believes that the government option will lead to necrophilia.

Bobo: Damn you Louis Gohmert.

MP: Let’s check in with Sir Fartsalot. He’s getting waxed at the Giorgio La Puma Spa.

TLD: Oh I bet he’s going to be screaming.