Polls Declare Kimble Winner of Iowa Debate

[Reprinted from the Oakdale Value Shopper with permission]

54th District Congressman Jack Kimble was the clear winner of last night's Republican Presidential Debate in Ames, Iowa despite not being on stage.. Kimble, who has emerged as a tireless champion of conservative family values, capitalism, and plutocracy is a long shot for the nomination, but that didn't stop him from being the debate's big winner according to overnight tracking polls that showed 76% of viewers felt Kimble was the winner, with 14% preferring Newt Gingrich, and Tim Pawlenty tied for a distant third with Ron Paul at 2%.

Because of the debt ceiling crisis Congressman Kimble was forced to postpone a family bus trip with his daughter Ayn. When negotiations between the Kimble campaign and Fox News for a satellite link broke down, Kimble decided to participate from the comfort of his own bus. He responded to the debate questions in real time and was followed by an audience of thousands on Twitter through hash tag #GOPDebate.

"He was the most pro-life candidate that's for sure," said Helen Douglass proudly sporting a Kimble pin, "he is not only against abortion, but birth control including the rhythm method and sex with non-ovulating women as well."

Twitter user @Warnersl was particularly impressed with Jack Kimble's plan for the economy, even though he never quite got around to revealing it. She started the hashtag #Jackhasaplane after Kimble declared, "Thank you Brett. I am glad you asked me about my plan. I have a plan. Oh believe me I have a plan. Don't you ring that f-ing bell, not til I get to give my plan."

Kimble's strategy was risky. When a moderator asked about the dangers of denigrating other religions, Kimble didn't back off and in fact seemed to double down stating, "I'm going after the Mennonites next."

Mike Flannigan on the Welcome Back to Pottersville Blog echoed the many accolades that Kimble had received following the debate saying, "Meanwhile, presidential aspirant Congressman Jack Kimble (CA-54) silently took part in the debate through his Twitter account and actually made more sense than everyone put together."

Clearly, Jack Kimble had a lot to lose in this debate. Despite large and enthusiastic crowds on his Short Bus Tour, the odds are stacked against him. It's very difficult for a member of the House of Representatives to rise to President and he's not considered a front runner. However, strong showings in both New Hampshire and Iowa debates may may undecided voters stand up and take notice of Kimble who has been making an effort to smile more while campaigning.

[The Oakdale Value Shopper is owned by Joseph Kimble who is also Congressman Kimble's father]

The Oakdale Value Shopper is owned by Jack Kimble's father Joe Kimble.