Congressman Kimble Addresses the Pacific Coast Petroleum Institute

[A speech by Congressman Jack Kimble to the Pacific Coast Petroleum Institute]

My friends, this is not an easy time for any of us. A cataclysm of unspeakable proportions threatens the Gulf of Mexico. Thousands of barrels of oil have spilled into the Gulf and every five days an Exxon Valdez worth of oil spills into the Gulf. The damage is immeasurable and the full impact of this disaster will not be seen for years to come.

It is natural that at this time of crisis our prayers and our sympathies go out to the BP shareholders and board of directors. I see the suffering on the faces of my friends who lobby for them, in the stock ticker, and I want to help in anyway that I can. However, even as a member of the U.S. House of Representatives there is very little I can do to alleviate their suffering.

I am reminded of President Reagan after the Challenger disaster when he said, “Nothing ends here; our hopes and our journeys continue.”

Those words are truer now that ever. We choose to drill for oil offshore not because it is easy, but because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone by using renewable energy, and because as Americans we know we look stupid in small electric cars. As Americans it is our God given right to explore this great country from sea to shining sea and to do so at 14 miles per gallon.

Already, the forces of big government want to use this tragedy as an excuse to apply big government solutions to cleaning up this spill and putting in so called “common sense” regulations into place. Do not be fooled. I heard Rush Limbaugh earlier today and he makes an excellent point, "The ocean will take care of this on its own if it was left alone and left out there," Limbaugh said. "It's natural. It's as natural as the ocean water is."

We know that eventually the oil will simple mix into the waters of the ocean and be so diluted by the huge quantities of water to be harmless, but unfortunately the damage will already be done. Oil prices may be reaching $100 a barrel by mid-Summer and as Americans we cannot accept this.

I am calling on President Obama to work with Republicans in Congress to look for new places where we can drill. We should not rest until every usable drop of oil is extracted from the Earth for it is the lifeblood of our economy. This is a time where we can make no small plans. This is a time for action. This is a time for America to again stand tall. This is a time to drill, baby drill.

Congressman Kimble on Terrance Howard Incident

This Saturday was the White House Correspondents Dinner and unfortunately I was the victim of some very scandalous gossip involving an incident between myself and Terrence Howard. It was a very awkward evening for me because of the presence of Helen Thomas and I always hate running into exes at public events. Mr. Howard, who is a very gifted African-American actor, was seating at the Fox News table, which was located next to mine. A playful shoving match occurred at one point in the night, which was interpreted by many to be a fight--it was not. I was also not drunk at any point during the evening. Over the course of several hours, 9 Rob Roys is not that much to drink for somebody with a full meal in their stomach. Mostly, it was an exciting evening and both Mr. Howard and I very much enjoyed the hysterical comedy of Jay Leno whose wit knows no racial barrier.

My Contract On America

Today at the Heritage Valley Tea Party I was lucky enough to be one of the speakers. I was very well-received by a terrific audience when I revealed my Contract On America. If I am reelected to Congress in November, I will make the following promises:

(1) Protest the Constitution: At any point, where I am called out on my opposition to the Obama agenda, I will protest that it is unconstitutional.

(2) Reject Cap & Trade: Despite praising this idea when John McCain was pushing it, I will vote against that and instead refer to our atmosphere as "crunchy"

(3) Demand a Balanced Budget: We should have no problem supporting a balanced budget while fighting two wars and still keep social security and medicare strong if we just eliminate all other federal funding.

(4) Enact Fundamental Tax Reform: Adopt a simple and fair single-rate tax system by scrapping the internal revenue code and replacing it with one that has no words longer than 2 syllables and avoids all those foreign words. The tax forms should also have pictures for when we don't feel like reading.

(5) Restore Fiscal Responsibility & Constitutionally Limited Government in Washington: Create a Blue Ribbon taskforce because there is no better way to limit government than by creating a new committee. We will then follow the Constitution's original meaning and return all land acquired after 1803 to the proper countries. We will demand that France return to us the $15,000,000 dollar purchase price for Louisiana territory plus interest minus a reasonable and appropriate retroactive security deposit for New Orleans.

(6) End Runaway Government Spending: Impose a statutory cap limiting the annual growth in total federal spending to a sum not exceeding the total prize winnings of the preceding year's NASCAR top finisher times 1,0000.

(7) Defund, Repeal & Replace Government-run Broadcasting: I will move to arrange for Ruper Murdoch to take control of NPR and require PBS to broadcast at least 2 hours of programming per night showing older Americans acting cool and solving crimes.

(8) Pass an 'All-of-the-Above' Spelling Policy: We will stop the totalitarian rule of one size fits all spelling in our school system by demanding that teachers accept all variations on a word as long as it sounds kind of right.

(9) Modify Black History Month: Change the focus from black people through history who have overcome great odds to black people through history who didn't have it too bad like Amos McGee who in 1932 bought his own car and became and instant hit with his neighbors in Forest Park, New York.

(10) Stop the Tax Hikes: Permanently repeal all tax hikes that would force corporations to pay federal income taxes. Nearly 1/3 of America's corporations were forced to take on the unfair burden of paying taxes at a time when many unemployed and working poor Americans are ducking their tax liability by not making much money.

Congressman Kimble Opposes Obama Supreme Court Nominee

Today, my friends, the United States Supreme Court is at a tipping point. With the announced retirement of Justice John Paul Stevens, it is extremely important that a suitable replacement is found for Justice Stevens who will support those laws which our government was founded on that still remain popular to this day.

When George Bush was President, he picked two justices in Samuel Alito and John Roberts who were not only the epitome of judicial temperament, but also strict Constitutionalists who follow the ideals our founding fathers had for this country, its people, and its corporations. I had hoped that President Obama would follow President Bush's lead, but instead he has selected unqualified radicals in Justice Sotomayor and now with his latest nominee.

Right now, the Democrats have a majority, but we must not allow them to pack this court with another radical. We need only look at this nominee's judicial record to see a long history of supporting liberal special interests and turning their back on the family values and fiscal conservatism that this country was founded on.

As I mentioned earlier, judicial temperament is just as important as strict adherence to the Constitutionalism. That is why I can't understand why Obama has selected a nominee who is alternately bookishly withdrawn and prone to rage. Surely, there were other potential nominees who were better qualified. Obama's nominee seems to be defensive about both gender and race in a way that is unbecoming of a justice and would make me wonder if a white male could possibly get a fair hearing in front of them. The nominee has made repeated racist and/or sexist remarks that should disqualify anybody from the highest court in the land.

This nominee has not only shown a fondness for socialist philosophers, but also a liberal bias that will seriously endanger rights that we hold dear like the Second Amendment. I urge everybody to please call your Senator and let them know you will not support such a radical nominee.

Representative Jack Kimble (R-CA)

Congressman Kimble's Apology at CPAC

Good morning, and thank you for joining me. Many of you in this room are my friends. Many of you in this room know me. Many of you have voted for me or you've canvassed for me or you've supported me.

Now every one of you has good reason to be critical of me. I want to say to each of you, simply and directly, I am deeply sorry for my irresponsible and juvenile behavior I engaged in.

I know people want to find out how I could be so selfish and so foolish. People want to know how I could have said these things to my Congressman Blackburn and to Congressman Pence. And while I have always tried to take full responsibility for my actions, there are some things I want to say.
My references “hoo has”, “naughty bits”, “jugs”, as well as my unfortunate and off key rendition of a song I wrote called “Thanks for the Mammaries” was shameful and an anathema to the families values conservative principles that I have upheld since my unfortunate incident in the LAX parking lot in 2008. I apologize for any hurt I may have caused by my comments, or by the making of “awuga” sounds.
In my defense I can only offer the following explanation. After, a night of very limited sleep because of a house guest, I overheard a conversation between Congressman Pence and Congressman Blackburn in wish Congressman Pence expressed his desire for “hotly contested midterms” I overheard him as saying “hot, big chested interns”. When Congressman Blackburn said, “I never had one of those myself” and they laughed, I took things completely the wrong way and embarrassed both of my colleagues.

My beautiful wife Kerry and I have started the process of discussing the damage caused by my behavior. As Kerry pointed out to me, my real apology to her will not come in the form of words; it will come in the form of expensive jewelry, which I will have to buy her. We have a lot to discuss; however, what we say to each other will remain between the two of us until my memoirs come out sometime in 2011.

I am also aware of the pain my behavior has caused to those of you in this room. I have let you down, and I have let down my supporters. For many of you, especially my friends, my behavior has been a personal disappointment. To those of you who work for me, I have let you down personally and professionally yet again. My behavior has caused considerable worry to the lobbyists who have done so much to support me.

For all that I have done, I am so sorry.

I've had a lot of time to think about what I've done. My failures have made me look at myself in a way I never wanted to before. It's now up to me to make amends, and that starts by never repeating the mistakes I've made. It's up to me to start living a life of integrity. You can support that life, by donating to my 2010 campaign. Holding onto my seat is a key to reigning in Obama’s socialist programs.

I once heard, and I believe it's true, it's not what you achieve in life that matters; it's what you overcome. I believe myself, David Vitter, and Tom Ensign play the part daily of setting an example. Character and decency are what really count.

Parents used to point to me as a role model for their kids. I owe all those families a special apology. I want to say to them that I am truly sorry that those children had to see me acting like a motorboat in a sexually inappropriate way.

As I proceed, I understand people have questions. I understand the press wants to ask me for the details and what I meant by the term “meaty, big, and bouncy.” I understand people want to know whether Kerry and I will remain together. Please know that as far as I'm concerned, Kerry and I have a marriage as solid as a rock. She has explained to me that she needs sometime to clear her head before we can put this behind ourselves and she will be spending the recess hiking the Appalachian Trail and coming to grips with the embarrassment I have put her through.

I recognize I have brought this on myself, and I know above all I am the one who needs to change. I owe it to my district to become a better person. I owe it to those closest to me to become a better man. That's where my focus will be. Towards this end, I will begin taking classes in both cooking and ballroom dancing. I have already begun to start a bodybuilding regime recommended by former Mr. Universe Lou Ferrigno.

I have a lot of work to do, and I intend to dedicate myself to doing it. Part of following this path for me is Catholicism, which my mother taught me at a young age. People probably don't realize it, but I was raised a Catholic, and I actively practiced my faith from childhood until I drifted away from it when Notre Dame was eliminated from BCS contention this season. Catholicism teaches that we have an awful lot to feel guilty for. It teaches me to not eat meat on Friday regardless of how superior Roy Rogers’ hamburgers are to their fish sandwich. Obviously I lost track of what I was taught.

In discussing my situation with Newt Gingrich, I've learned the importance of looking at my spiritual life and keeping in balance with my professional life. I need to regain my balance and be centered so I can save the things that are most important to me, my marriage and my children.

That also means relying on others for help. I've learned to seek support from lobbyists in Washington, and I hope someday to return that support to them that they have given me. I especially want to thank Citibank, Marlboro, and Coca Cola who have been amazing generous corporate underwriters since a recent Supreme Court decision gave them that right.

I want to thank CPAC, House Minority Leader John Boehner, and the Republican Party for their patience and understanding while I work on my private life. I look forward to casting no votes with them in the months and years to come.

Finally, there are many people in this room, and there are many people at home who believed in me. Today I want to ask for your help. I ask you to find room in your heart to one day believe in me again.

Thank you.

Supreme Court Ruling is a Victory for Democracy

On Thursday, the Supreme Court voted 5-4 to let corporations spend as much money as they want on campaign contributions. Companies can all buy commercial time to run commercials right through the election. This is great news for the American people.

Some may call this a case of activist judges running amok, but I believe this is what the founding fathers wanted when they first incorporated this country. As a congressman, I have frequently found myself wishing that insurance companies and banks could make their voices heard so I would know how they feel on certain issues—now I can finally hear their side of things. It is great to know that industry can finally have its voice heard.

My father was thrilled to find out that he would no longer have to finance 90% of my campaign alone. For those of you who have been sending in campaign contributions, you have my gratitude, but it is no longer necessary. You can stop sending me money. This is a victory for the little guy to because it was thanks to large organizations like Freedom Works that the Teabag movement was funded.

To corporations I would like to say, “I’m listening.” If there is anything you need, my door will always be open to you. I am very interested in selling the naming rights to my seat in congress much like professional sports teams do. Every time I am interviewed on television, instead of saying Jack Kimble (R-CA) it could say Jack Kimble (R-CA-Citibank) or Jack Kimble (R-CA-PNC). This is tremendous news for democracy and for the robocall industry. After all, corporations who need other corporations are the luckiest corporations in the world.

My new Spanish Language Commercial

I believe strongly in reaching out to all my constituents. As a fluent Spanish speaker and wrote and did the voice over on this campaign ad myself as a way of trying to show my support for the Mexican community. We still have a lot of Spanish in California from when the state used to be Mexico and we must reach out to them to grow the Republican Party.