Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Congressman Kimble Gives Up on Food Stamp Challenge

It is with great sorrow that I throw in the towel on the Food Stamp Challenge that I began only a few days ago with such trepidation.  I can tell you right now, it is an amazing feat to be able to feed oneself on a meager $31.50 a day.   What doomed me in the long run was a miscalculation on my part.  I went out to dinner with former Congressman Tom Ensign to discuss a new PAC he wishes to start advocating for candidates with a strong focus on Family Values.   Unfortunately, I mistakenly thought it was his turn to treat.   In reality, I got stuck with the bill for steaks and Maker's Mark Manhattans totaling $325 blowing my budget out of the water for the week.   The only way to have made it work, would have been to rely solely on my own kitchen for the rest of the week.

Part of me really hates giving up on this challenge because it gives the satisfaction of my quitting to all the unemployed and Walmart employees on food stamps.   While I could not live on $31.50 a day, surely if they cooked for themselves, and clipped coupons, and stuck to domestic wines, they could make it work.  Still, I am a good enough man to admit defeat.  During these 3 days, I learned a lot about hunger and about suffering in a way that I couldn't have from listening to a lobbyist describe a bill I was going to vote on.   I guess in that way, the experiment was a success. 

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Congressman Kimble's Food Stamp Challenge - Day 2

Day 2 of the Food Stamp Challenge was even harder than day 1 if that is possible.  Again, hunger wasn't the big issue as much as the way other people have begun perceiving me.  Also, with the big Notre Dame game tonight, I knew I was going to have to find a way to squeeze beer and chips into the very tight $31.50 food budget.

Breakfast: I was back at East of Java again today for another 12 shot venti vanilla cinnamon white hazelnut mocha with extra caramel and mocha as well as a blueberry scone.  I brought my wife and daughter with me as well.  As I brought the bill to the cash register, I managed to catch Joe's attention, but he seemed less excited to see me than yesterday.  He waved off my credit card again, but today it seemed like a chore or something.  Gone was yesterday's smile.   Could he sense the desperation that my new status has brought on?

Lunch: I was lucky at lunchtime.  I had made an appointment to see a friend of mine with the natural gas industry about legislation allowing fracking on public school property.   The proposal sounds like a great way of giving us long sought energy independence while at the same time allowing school children to learn about science.  It was your typical 4 martini lunch with a lobster tail thrown in for sustenance and a delightful pumpkin bisque soup. 

Dinner: I was feeling pretty good that it was now dinner and I had yet to spend a dollar on food.   The temptation was, of course, to splurge.  However, I remembered the chips and beer that I wanted for tonight's Notre Dame game.  Instead I went to the refrigerator.  The chef had made some Beef Wellington before leaving for the Thanksgiving holiday.  I followed his instructions and had the tasty pastry with some baby carrots and new potatoes.   Of course, I had a few glasses of wine for dinner.

Snack: I spent $20.18 on chips and beer for tonight's Notre Dame game.   Mantei Te'Meow and I have been looking forward to this game all week.

Day 2 Total = $20.18

Small Business Saturday: Today is Small Business Saturday,  I encourage everybody to visit small businesses for your shopping today.  If this note finds you too late, remember you can't get much smaller than an independent eBook seller.   My eBook Profiles in Courageousness is only $3.99 at better online retailers.

Friday, November 23, 2012

Congressman Kimble Begins Food Stamp Challenge

Today, I began the Food Stamp Challenge.   I did this not because it is easy, but because even in a prosperous district like mine, there are many people who are hurting.   There many unemployed and underemployed people who rely on food stamps to feed their families.  I read today that 80% of Walmart employees are on food stamps and I wanted to know their struggle first hand.   Please check out the challenge for yourself.

According to the challenge, the food stamp benefit in California is only about $31.50 per day.   I've seen Rachel Ray survive on $40 per day, but that was a few years back.   I knew right away that some luxuries would be off limits this week.  I would not be able to afford my favorite 1.5 pound lobster stuffed with a smaller 1 pound lobster and even a second glass of wine at dinner would be a stretch.  I knew reducing tipping down to 5% would help, but for one of the first times in my life I would know real hunger.

Breakfast: I love my coffee and today was no exception.  I sat down to the paper at East of Java Coffee Shop for my usual 12 shot venti vanilla cinnamon white hazelnut mocha with extra caramel and mocha.  To that I added a blueberry muffin and a morning newspaper.   As I reached into my wallet to pay the $22.47 bill, I thought I might have made a mistake wasting so much money on breakfast, but as I gave the girl my Chase card, the owner saw me.  Joe and I go back along way and he insisted on comping me on my breakfast as his Thanksgiving gift to me.  Breakfast was free, but what about lunch and dinner.

Lunch: I stopped by the club and again unfamiliar with familiarity I overdid it.  While I stopped myself at 2 martinis, the Welsh rarebit was a bit pricey and when I added the $1.60 tip to the $29.83 bill, I founded myself with a grand total of 7 cents left for dinner.   This was much harder than I thought it would be.

Dinner: I hoped I wouldn't have to resort to it already, but after our Thanksgiving feast we had a lot of what is commonly referred to as leftovers.   I made myself a cold turkey sandwich with a slice of leftover pumpkin pie and some Merlot.    Was this really what I was reduced to?  Was I really scrounging for my meals in the old food of my refrigerator?  As God is my witness, tomorrow is another day and I will not go hungry again.

Day 1 Total = $31.43

Monday, November 19, 2012

Profiles in Courageousness Wins Prestigious Award

It is an unprecedented feat for a member of Congress to write a book.  The daily grind of making the decisions of which bills to reject while keeping pledges to both the American people and to Grover Norquist don't allow a lot of time for writing.  That's why as a country we are very fortunate that Jack Kimble is a multi-tasker who took advantage of his limited down time and even more limited attention span to cobble together his memoirs into the book that would become known as Profiles in Courageousness.

Sales at Amazon have been brisk, but equally impressive has been the critical acclaim.  Today, Congressman Kimble can add award winner to his growing resume as a writer.  The Profiles in Courageousness Foundation awarded Jack Kimble's Profiles in Courageousness with the Prestigious Profiles in Courageousness Award in a ceremony held today in Washington D.C.   

The Foundation, which was established by Joseph Kimble this year to make Americans aware of public servants who act with conscientiousness and courageousness and to encourage elected officials to do what is right, rather than what is expedient while remaining true to the causes of American exceptionalism and conservative principles.  Kimble was an upset winner over favorite Mitt Romney who was expected to win for his gallant Presidential campaign.

"To be singled out by a foundation that was established by my father and administered by my family is a truly humbling experience," said Congressman Kimble, "I believe this award will be around for years to come like the Grammies or the VMAs.   This award is for the haters, who thought I would only be a one term Congressman.  It looks like I'm going to be around for quite awhile."

Readers and patriots interested in acquiring a copy of the Profiles in Courageousness eBook, should go to www.Profilesincourageousness.com or to the book's Amazon.com page.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Congressman Kimble Demands Snack Cake Bailout

Like any red-blooded patriotic American, I was horrified to hear that Hostess was going out of business.  Surely, a company that hasn't demanded concessions from its workers in over 7 years deserves a break.  I put this tragedy surely on the head of President Obama and his administration.   The American Snack Cake Industry must survive.  Our nation is too big for it to fail.   Courageous steps must be taken in order to ensure that future generations are able to enjoy golden sponge cake with rich creamy filling or a flaky crust with real fruit filling.  I am making my proposal respectfully to President Obama in the form of four non-negotiable demands.   Mr. President, do not let us go off this snack cake cliff:

1. Sign and executive order dismissing all Hostess Workers unwilling to work for what the company is offering.  In 1987, President Reagan courageously fired striking airline workers who asked for it.  Even your President Roosevelt ordered miners back into the mines at a time of national emergency.  This is a national emergency!

2. Provide tax breaks for snack cake creators.  We will not be out of this crisis until those with the resources and machinery to create snack cakes do so.   We must give targeted tax breaks not only to Hostess, but to Little Debbie, Dolly Madison, and Tastykake.

3. Have Michelle Obama include Hostess products in her efforts to change school lunches.   While the overwhelming majority of The First Lady's efforts have been towards creating healthier school lunches, students can't live on vegetables alone.   A package of Twinkies or a Cherry Fruit Pie gives students the dextrose they need to perform in school and life.

4. Ease cumbersome regulations on snack cake production.  With an existential threat to the very existence of Hostess products, I don't care if there is a tiny bit of DDT in my Ding Dong or some very finely crushed glass in my Susie Q.   If I can't taste it, than what I don't know I'm probably better off not knowing.  The goal of sanitary food is admirable, but not at the cost of the wholesome goodness of Hostess products.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Courageous GOP Leadership Battles Presidential Overreach

Following last week's squeaker of an election night win for President Obama last week, The President has claimed that his victory has given him the right to unprecedented powers to make sweeping changes to this country.  Fortunately, the Republican leadership is standing tough fighting President Obama every step of the way.   Before, turning this country into a socialist Heaven, it makes more sense for him to clean up the problems left over from his first term.

1. The attack on Ben Gazzi in Libya.   We must find who is responsible for the attack on Mr. Gazzi and we must hold hearings to make these people accountable.  Mr. Gazzi was a hero and the Libyans who attacked him as well as the Americans that let it happen must be held accountable.

2. The growing gay marriage crisis in the army.   I believe that the recent scandal involving General Petraeus's affair with his biographer can be directly tied to gay marriage.  I know that gay marriage has cheapened my own marriage and as Petraeus was at ground zero for the repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell, he probably felt his marriage was even more in peril.  Until we end the threat of gay marriage once and for all, we will only see these unfortunate affairs increase.  I even heard a rumor that President Obama was talking about having a man date tonight.  This is just disturbing.

3. Iranian nuclear weapons.  Before the 2008 election, Iran was less than 6 months from building nuclear weapons.  The President has done nothing to stop them and now Iran is 4 years closer.  I think it's safe to say Iran has had nuclear weapons for over 3 and a half years.

4.  A shortage of Courageousness.  In my new book,  Profiles in Courageousness, I laid out the courageous steps that a President would need to take to rebuild this country.   I sent the President a link for a free copy of the book.  He has yet to download it, even though it is a quick and pleasant read and priced to move at $3.99.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Congressman Kimble Meets the Nation to Talk about GOP Future

Greg Roberts: The echoes of Tuesday night's crushing defeat for Mitt Romney and the rest of Republican candidates still echo through the beltway.  The fiscal cliff awaits, but it seems what everybody is talking about is how the Republicans rebound with demographics seemingly working against them for years to come. 

Our guest, Jack Kimble from California was a rare Republican winner on Tuesday night, winning his home district with over 83% of the vote total.  Welcome to the show Congressman.

Jack Kimble:  Thank you Greg.  I'm happy to be here.

Greg Roberts:  So 83%?  How did you do it?

Jack Kimble: I'm fortunate Greg.  The 54th District is a traditional family values district.  I guess we're not much different from America itself in that regard.

Greg Roberts: Do you think there are lessons that the rest of the Republican Party can learn from your phenomenal success.

Jack Kimble: I'm glad you mentioned that.  As you know, my book Profiles in Courageousness was released this week and in it, I tell the story of the American dream as I rise from the son of a wealthy landowner to become a United States Congressman.  I also lay out a road map for moving the Republican Party into the future.  You can find it at Amazon, Barnes and...

Greg Roberts:  Right.  I'm sure it's going to be a best seller Congressman, but getting back to the election.  Do you think that Tea Party candidates may have taken the party too far to the right?

Jack Kimble:  Oh what?  Sorry, I was just looking at my Kindle.  Do you realize that 25% of American students are in the bottom quartile on standardized tests?  I have a solution for that.  

Greg Roberts: Education is a big part of the dilemma facing our country.  Every year, there are more and more immigrants coming to this country and it's our public schools that have the responsibility to educate them.  Do you think that Republicans made a mistake being so anti-immigration?

Jack Kimble: Amazingly, that's in the book too.  Why build a wall on only one border?  Let's put a wall on all four borders and sell advertising on them.  It'll keep our country secure and give it a retro ballpark field.

Greg Roberts: I remember that was one of your issues from the Presidential campaign.  Do you think that your run for President may have helped you with your district?

Jack Kimble: I really don't want to talk about that.

Greg Roberts: It seems all you want to talk about is your book.  I'm sorry...ebook.

Jack Kimble: It's a form of literature.

Greg Roberts: Right.  Anyway, we'll be back after these messages with more from the Beltway and beyond....Look, will you put down your damn Kimble.   You are shameless sir.  Have you no dignity?

Jack Kimble: eBookit.com also carries the book.   Pick it up, you won't be disappointed.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Kimble and Romney Hopeful

Both Jack Kimble and Mitt Romney remained extremely hopeful as voters rushed out to cast their ballots in today's huge election.   Romney himself cast an early vote for the cameras while Jack Kimble, having neglected to register, cheered on voters at Heritage Valley High School before being chased off by an overzealous poll worker for electioneering.

While Romney is in a tough race for President, Kimble has experienced smooth sailing in his bid against Glendale Valley attorney William Forsyth.  Amazingly, the Kimble campaign has been absent much of it's usual drama such as his 2010 drunken robocall to 54th District voters:

It may be a long night for President and Congressman alike.  Here's hoping they both make history tomorrow.