Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Jack Kimble's Short Bus Tour of America - Liberty or Bust!

Having recently adopted a daughter has been wonderful. She's a true delight and has had no problem pitching in around the house or with our direct mail campaign, assuring me we made the right choice when we adopted her. Unfortunately, with her in California and me doing our country's business in Washington we've really been able to keep in touch via letter and that's just not the same as being there.

I remember fondly the road trips my family took when I was little. My brothers, sister, and I had so much fun discussing politics with my father and tormenting the chauffeur as we took our traditional cross country road trip to the Hamptons or Myrtle Beach. I wanted to give my new daughter a chance to get to know me as we took the same kind of family road trip I used to love and we got to explore America together.

We'll be starting in Washington D.C. on July 17th and we'll be sure to hit both Lexington, KY and Concord, NH where the first shots of the American revolution were fired. In New York, we'll see the statue of Nathan Hale whose dramatic words, "give me liberty or give me death" inspired a new nation and in Eureka,IL we'll see the birthplace of Ronald Reagan. I will be sure to share my reflections of the tour, which I am now calling the "Liberty or Bust Tour".

We'll be giving away free Bounty Paper Towels and we'll be selling tour t-shirts on the road. We're only using a short bus because it doesn't seem that Ayn and I need a huge bus for just ourselves. The bus looks amazing in "Don't Tread on Me" yellow.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Congressman Kimble Landsline Winner of New Hampshire Debate

[Reprinted from the Oakdale Value Shopper with permission]

54th District Congressman Jack Kimble was the clear winner of last night's Republican Presidential Debate in New Hampshire despite not being invited to participate. Kimble, who has emerged as a tireless champion of conservative family values, capitalism, and plutocracy is a long shot for the nomination, but that didn't stop him from being the debate's big winner according to overnight tracking polls that showed 73% of viewers felt Kimble was the winner, with 20% preferring Ron Paul, and front-runner Mitt Romney tied for a distant third with Michele Bachmann and Herbert Cain.

Because of a paperwork snafu, Kimble was not invited to the debate so he chose to make the best of the situation by tweeting from the Best Western in Concord, where he was staying unaware that the debate was actually being held in Manchester. He responded to the debate questions in real time and was followed by an audience of thousands on Twitter through hash tag #GOPDebate.

"He just came off as real," said longtime political analyst George Coughlin, "When an audience member asked for a way to specific response and Kimble replied that he was just going to dance around the question with platitudes, it reminded me of Ronald Reagan telling Walter Mondale, "there you go again."

@dcGisenyi, a Washington D.C. native, singled out Kimble's plan to "1ook at every immigrant woman of child-bearing age as ticking bomb" particularly compelling before declaring him the debate winner.

@laloalcaraz a nationally syndicated political cartoonist thought Kimble won big points by defiantly declaring, "We know illegal immigrants come here because our life is better. If you elect me, I promise that will stop."

Kimble felt free to talk off the cuff, such as when he declared that like Herman Cain he would make sure any Muslim on his staff would not kill him, but he was masterful when he stuck to the points he felt strongest about like ending child labor laws and government regulation. Perhaps the most memorable line of the night was when Kimble declared that all food should be hand inspected, but by the invisible hand of the free market and not by the FDA.

Clearly, Jack Kimble had the most to lose in this debate, but the effect of his strong showing won't be known until new polls are taken at the end of the week. It is hard to see how Kimble doesn't jump into double digits after this performance.

The Oakdale Value Shopper is owned by Jack Kimble's father Joe Kimble.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

New Hampshire GOP Prefers Paperwork to Democracy

This has been a very trying couple of weeks for the Kimble campaign. I had many of my highest ranking campaign officials quit earlier in the week, but I was able to catch them before they could make it out of the parking lot to freedom. I was worried that this might happen if we let the windows open while they worked. That situation has been rectified with the purchase of several wall unit air conditioners.

The big problem happened on Thursday when I was told that because my paperwork was incomplete I would not be allowed to compete in the New Hampshire Republican Presidential Debate this Monday. I tried to appeal to the state GOP's sense of fairness and decency as well as the desire to have all voices represented. Unfortunately, they showed a preference for having pretty paperwork and refused.

This Monday, the debate will be on CNN from 8PM until 10PM and I will be in the Concord Best Western on Twitter using hash tag #CNNDebate to give my answers to the questions asked of contestants. If you care about democracy I ask you to follow along. They can shut us out, but they will not shut us up. I hope to see you then. Be sure to follow @Repjackkimble on Twitter for all the latest in my campaign to become your next President.

Friday, June 3, 2011

The Newest Member of Our Family -- Ayn Reagan Kimble

I am very pleased to announce that after a very exhaustive search that took us to over two dozen states and 40 orphanages, we have adopted a new daughter. Seven year old Ayn Reagan Kimble is just the type of daughter we have always wanted and despite her young age is a gifted singer, equestrian, and a winner of several toddler beauty pageants. Just like a Kimble, she's got the fire of competition in her belly already.

Through the talent portion of the search, several orphans were bottle-necked at the top of the standings, but Ayn distinguished herself when she was able to explain how the 1964 Presidential, though a loss for the Republicans, was a watershed moment for the conservative movement in this country.

Kerry deserves much of the credit for locating this beautiful girl who we have named Ayn. While I was in Washington, Kerry took the lead in our search. The St. Benedict's Orphanage we used previously supplied infants to the Republican party during the battle against Obama Care, where they made excellent speaking props. We have chosen February 6th as her birthday, which she will now share with Ronald Reagan.

We know as she gets older, we will have to explain to her that she was adopted and will not get any inheritance from her grandfather, but for now we are an extremely happy family. We intend to take a family bus tour in June to get to know each other before the election campaign really picks up. She will be working as a staffer on my campaign when we return.