Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Short Bus Tour Day #8 Tampico, IL

It appears that our road trip will be cut a bit short since I need to be back home for Heritage Valley Corn Dog Festival on Friday. We were originally going to try to make it out to Concord, New Hampshire, but it turns out I made the same mistake I made with Lexington, Kentucky. You would think they would publicize that both Lexington and Concord are in Massachusetts. I figure that like Sarah Palin did, I can always resume my vacation later on.

We stopped at Tampico, IL where Ronald Reagan went to Sunday School. It's the type of town that could produce great men with 800 people who call this small town home and while they might not cotton to strangers, they have amazing pie. I am really looking forward to hearing the results of the Wisconin recall elections tonight. I have a feeling we're picking up two formerly Democrat seats.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Short Bus Tour Day #7: Waterloo, Iowa

I have seen political theatre in my time, but what I witnessed from Michele and Dr. Bachmann in Waterloo, Iowa may have been the most amazing thing I have ever seen. They were a few minutes late in arriving and the crow was growing antsy. The band had been warming them up with a selection of country hits for the Lee Greenwood crowd, when suddenly everybody saw the Bachmann's bus pull up and the crowd let out a mighty roar, followed by...nothing.

Suddenly, the bad begins playing a riff and Michele Bachmann exits the bus smiling and waving at the crowd. She is wearing this ridiculously short white dress that looks very unacceptable for the campaign trail. Then we see another woman with long blonde hair rush out of the bus behind her. Except, this was no woman, but rather Michele's husband Dr. Marcus Bachmann. Suddenly, the riff that the band has been playing becomes obvious as the band shifts into playing Waterloo by Abba to thunderous applause.

For the next 4 minutes Michele and Dr. Bachmann gave the kind of magical performance that I had only previously seen from Ronald Reagan. They not only knew all the words to the song, they knew all the dance moves and they were in key. It was like stepping back in time to the 70s and seeing the real Abba perform and the audience just ate it up. When Michele began talking about conservative family values she already had the crowd eating out of the palm of her hand. I was just glad I didn't have to go on after her.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Short Bus Tour Days #5 & #6: Iowa State Fair

Unfortunately, campaign business intruded on our family vacation, but Ayn was a real trooper as we drove all night through what Ayn calls "America's glorious Heartland" to arrive at the Iowa State Fair in Ames, Iowa. I met with our many great Iowa volunteers and saw the area that they had nicknamed Kimblepalooza. We were greeted by many enthusiastic supporters and saw a lot of jealous Tim Pawlenty volunteers when Ventura Highway, California's best America Cover Band started playing.

I actually was lucky enough to have a chance to talk with Tim Pawlenty. We had a rare chance to let our hair down.

"Jack", he told me, "I'm not sure about this. I've put a lot into those commercials, but I'm just not generating the excitement I wanted."

"I don't know Tim," I said, "I get the idea that you're not really excited about this either."

"Maybe not," he said, "I look at Crazy Eyes Bachmann and I wonder if I'm in the wrong business."

"Don't knock her," I said, "Did you try the petit fours that Dr. Bachmann made?"

"To die for," Tim said, "I think she's going to win just on the line for his pastries. I don't know how you do it Jack. I think I'm about done."

I may have remembered a word wrong here or there, but that was the gist of our conversation. Sure enough, thanks to Dr. Bachmann's culinary skills and tasteful decoration of the campaign tent, Michelle did win the straw poll, while Tim Pawlenty announced he was withdrawing from the campaign. I can't say I was surprised.

Ventura Highway was great, but we weren't thrilled with our performance. A top ten performance was something to build on and we're not out of it by any stretch, but this just puts more pressure on us to do well in the early primaries.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Polls Declare Kimble Winner of Iowa Debate

[Reprinted from the Oakdale Value Shopper with permission]

54th District Congressman Jack Kimble was the clear winner of last night's Republican Presidential Debate in Ames, Iowa despite not being on stage.. Kimble, who has emerged as a tireless champion of conservative family values, capitalism, and plutocracy is a long shot for the nomination, but that didn't stop him from being the debate's big winner according to overnight tracking polls that showed 76% of viewers felt Kimble was the winner, with 14% preferring Newt Gingrich, and Tim Pawlenty tied for a distant third with Ron Paul at 2%.

Because of the debt ceiling crisis Congressman Kimble was forced to postpone a family bus trip with his daughter Ayn. When negotiations between the Kimble campaign and Fox News for a satellite link broke down, Kimble decided to participate from the comfort of his own bus. He responded to the debate questions in real time and was followed by an audience of thousands on Twitter through hash tag #GOPDebate.

"He was the most pro-life candidate that's for sure," said Helen Douglass proudly sporting a Kimble pin, "he is not only against abortion, but birth control including the rhythm method and sex with non-ovulating women as well."

Twitter user @Warnersl was particularly impressed with Jack Kimble's plan for the economy, even though he never quite got around to revealing it. She started the hashtag #Jackhasaplane after Kimble declared, "Thank you Brett. I am glad you asked me about my plan. I have a plan. Oh believe me I have a plan. Don't you ring that f-ing bell, not til I get to give my plan."

Kimble's strategy was risky. When a moderator asked about the dangers of denigrating other religions, Kimble didn't back off and in fact seemed to double down stating, "I'm going after the Mennonites next."

Mike Flannigan on the Welcome Back to Pottersville Blog echoed the many accolades that Kimble had received following the debate saying, "Meanwhile, presidential aspirant Congressman Jack Kimble (CA-54) silently took part in the debate through his Twitter account and actually made more sense than everyone put together."

Clearly, Jack Kimble had a lot to lose in this debate. Despite large and enthusiastic crowds on his Short Bus Tour, the odds are stacked against him. It's very difficult for a member of the House of Representatives to rise to President and he's not considered a front runner. However, strong showings in both New Hampshire and Iowa debates may may undecided voters stand up and take notice of Kimble who has been making an effort to smile more while campaigning.

[The Oakdale Value Shopper is owned by Joseph Kimble who is also Congressman Kimble's father]

The Oakdale Value Shopper is owned by Jack Kimble's father Joe Kimble.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Short Bus Tour Day #4: Canton, OH

It had been my fondest wish to take my daughter to see the Hoover Vacuum Cleaner Museum in Canton, OH and possibly visit the McKinley Memorial. Unfortunately, media types had learned that I was on this bus tour. No sooner did we disembark from the bus for some family time then we were ganged up on by reporters. Fortunately, some of my supporters were able to hastily find a giant American flag and produce a lectern and microphone for me to give a brief press conference. I looked at little Ayn expected to see tears or at least disappointment, but she just looked up at me with her big eyes and said, "all these people came to see you daddy. Give a great speech." She is a born campaigner that girl of mine.

Canton went great. We are clearly winning the hearts and minds of voters in Ohio. Unfortunately, it wasn't until we left the Vacuum Cleaner Museum, that I learned the NFL Hall of Fame is also in Canton. Maybe next time I'll get to see that too.

Just a reminder, tonight is the FOX News GOP primary debate from Iowa. I didn't have the heart to cut Ayn's road trip short, but I will be tweeting my answers for tonight's debate questions live from our tour bus. We have arranged for a local hotel to let us plug in our modem cord into their internet. I hope to see you all tonight for the debate.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Day 3 of Short Bus Tour - Cincinnati and Marion

Cincinnati was named after a great Roman leader. I'm not sure of his name, but I believe it may have been Julius Caesar. It's long been a Republican stronghold in Ohio and it has a fine tradition of producing our country's greatest Presidents. Today, I saw the homes of both William Howard Taft and Warren Gamera Harding.

Taft was a giant above men who served his country admirably after his Presidential days as a Supreme Court Justice. I think it would be wonderful if the next President would appoint former President Bush to just such a post. The man has amazing judicial temperament and nothing seems to bother him.

The highlight of the trip for me was standing on Harding's front porch where he gave over 100 speeches in one of the most successful front porch campaigns in our country's history. He presided over a time of great prosperity thanks to his ability to shrink the government. Current leaders could learn a lot from this great man who was taken from us far too soon.

I will be participating in tomorrow's Iowa GOP debate via twitter. I was unwilling to cut my family vacation short for politics and I was unable to coordinate a live video feed, so twitter is the next best thing. While I would love to face my opponents, polls taken after the New Hampshire debate showed me winning the debate 71% to 20% for Ron Paul and 3% for Mitt Romney. You can follow me at @Repjackkimble on Twitter.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Short Bus Tour Day #2: Petersburg, Kentucky

We made the short trip from Lexington to Petersburg, Kentucky this morning. The drive took two hours down I-275 West. It was a shame we were on a tight schedule because I find Kentucky just a great place to meet real Americans who more than make up for what they lack in dental care with a pioneer spirit and can do attitude.

Ayn was excited to get to the museum to see the dinosaurs and she was truly captivated with the stories of children playing with the creatures in ancient Israel. I know she wanted to have a pet dinosaur of her own.

I always love to include some education on any family vacation just like my dad did and it was clear that Ayn learned a lot. She had no idea that the Earth was 6,000 years old. She had thought that the Earth was closer to four billion years old. We had a good laugh at that. It's amazing what some people will tell children.

What I found really touching was that after we left the museum, I asked Ayn what her favorite part was and she said she loved learning about how chameleons change color to show their mood and to talk with one another. We bid a fond farewell to Kentucky and are slow, dimwitted, lumbering friends as tonight we head to Cincinnati and President Taft's home.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Kimble Short Bus Tour Kicks Off In Lexington, KY

Staying in Washington long enough to insure that the Democrats promised to cut the budget and not raise taxes was very difficult for me because it meant delaying getting to know little Ayn Reagan Kimble. Since adopting her, she has been a dynamo in the campaign office for me, but unfortunately Washington business doesn't wait for families. With a budget deal finally reaching and our economy secure, we were ready for a road trip.

We began last week at Texas Governor Rick Perry's Day of Prayer. Ayn told me she learned a lot and hadn't realized just how vengeful and vindictive God can be with sinner. She made up her mind to stay on the straight and narrow from here on out.

This morning began on a bit of a down note as we spent most of the morning trying to find a monument to the first shots of the American Revolution, but nobody knew what we were talking about. We finally met a nice older woman named Elise who explained that it wasn't Lexington, Kentucky, but instead Lexington, Massachusetts that kicked off our war for independence. Oh well, with Concord, New Hampshire approaching soon on the itinerary at least it will be a great chance to teach Ayn about the Revolution.

I did give a short speech today on why our independence was so important and how England's socialized medicine had caused rioting. It was very well received. I hope that it is the start of a wonderful vacation for my daughter and me. It's wonderful to step off the campaign roller coaster and get to know her.