Monday, September 7, 2009

I'm an Author

[From Nate Peele's blog:]

Nate Peele: It is always a pleasure to be able to interview Congressman Jack Kimble (R-CA). It’s even a bigger honor today as Congressman Kimble is speaking to promote his new children’s book aimed at the 11-15 year old readership. I am normally not a fan of reading, but in light of President Obama’s attempt to indoctrinate our school children next week, I was interested in Congressman Kimble’s take on school children and politics. Congressman, welcome to the blog.

Congressman Kimble: Thank you Nate. You’re always a great way for me to get my message out. I am very saddened by president Obama’s attempts to address our school children. I think I could solve this whole problem if they would allow me to give a rebuttal like they do on the State of the Union address.

NP: Well, isn’t the President just going to tell the students to study hard and stay in school?

CK: Precisely, I would like equal time. As a country we’re spending way too much money to educate children whose parents will never be able to afford to send them to college. Those students would be much better off dropping out and our tax money could then be used to educate children whose parents have the money to allow them to do something with the education the government is giving them.

NP: Unfortunately, I don’t see that happening.

CK: Me neither. That’s why this book is so important to me.

NP: How did you ever find time to write a book?

CK: It really isn’t difficult. There’s a lot of stuff that goes on in Congress that bores me to tears. Rather than reading a lot of legislation, I’ll skim it or have an aid give me the bullet points. Then I use that time to work on my writing or my fantasy football team. You know I got Drew Brees with the number 11 pick this year. Nobody wants to take quarterbacks in the first round. I was worried that Cantor would go for him, but he took Matt Forte instead.

NP: Now this story is very sobering stuff for a middle school audience. Bethany, the heroine, has her mother die while they’re all on vacation in Canada because she can’t get any medical services. Then when she gets back to this country our government tries to take away her family home because of the inheritance tax.

CK: I actually fought with my publisher on that. I wanted to call it the death tax, but they thought it made the book too dark. I have been going to schools in my district for year’s now lecturing to students on the death tax. They need to know it will impact them someday when their mommy and daddy die and they’re left all alone.

NP: Now is this a true story?

CK: No, I don’t think it takes much talent to tell a story about true things. In the GOP we pride ourselves on our ability to tell stories about things that didn’t happen like the death panels or Obama’s secret army.

NP: Now tell us about Paul?

CK: Everybody wants to know about Paul. He’s just your run of the mill teenager with androgynous and non-threatening good looks. He’s an amazing rock guitarist and he likes to race motorcycles. However, what makes him different is he’s a vampire. As an immortal he’s seen how new social programs keep popping up and how our country keeps moving away from the vision of the founding fathers who he knew personally.

NP: So if he’s this powerful immortal, why does he hang out in a high school?

CK: Well, he’s a tortured soul and he’s an artist and when he sees Bethany he immediately is drawn to her like a moth to a flame, but they have a love nobody can understand.

NP: Well she is like 16 and he’s several hundred years old.

CK: He still looks 16. Anyway, he tells her about conservatism and together they start a movement.

NP: I know you have a lot of Christian support. Aren’t vampires anti-Christian?

CK: Yes, but luckily for Paul, Bethany leads him back to the church.

NP: Wow, it really seems like a lot happens in this book. I would be very happy if you would sign a copy for my daughter Emily. Is the book available through Amazon?

CK: Actually, we’ve had a little problem getting a distributorship. I had a Christian book publisher, but they pulled out after the vampire thing. We’re currently being distributed by American Cartridge Corporation. They’re one of the better ammunition distributors, but this is their first time with a book. You can find The Taxman Comes at Midnight at finer gun shops and gun shows throughout the West Coast region.

NP: I’ll be sure to pick it up. Always a pleasure Congressman.

CK: It’s great being here Nate.

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