Monday, January 2, 2012

Iowa, It's Up to You Now

Iowa, it's up to you now. I've done my best job of crisscrossing your state and letting you know about why I'm the right choice for the job of President. Now, it's up to you not to blow it. Iowa's caucuses strike me as uniquely Iowan - the idea that you can spend several hours advocating for a candidate only to switch to a second choice to shut up the 4 people who keep talking about spy satellites and the fluoride in the drinking water.

I want every Iowan to have the opportunity to take this opportunity to decide for themselves who they want to run the country for the next four years, but I also encourage everybody in this great state to reflect on my recent endorsement by God himself in this race. It certainly puts your mind at ease when you know you are on a mission from God.

Our campaign headquarters is at the historic Hotel Fort Des Moines where win or lose, we will be having a big party tomorrow night. It is truly amazing to feel all the history in the air at this hotel. Walter Mondale kicked off his 1980 campaign here and George HW Bush stayed here during his 88 run. The hotel hosted important speeches by Nikita Kruschev shortly before he was deposed as well as American Vice-President Spiro Agnew. In fact, Woodrow Wilson gave his big speech on the 14 points here. Even Charles Lindbergh stayed here shortly after the birth of his baby boy. I hope that my campaign will add to this hotel's wonderful history.

This is crunch time. Please urge your friends to get out to the polls and campaign hard for us. Make sure everybody is aware of just what a great deal my 8-8-8 plan is. I expect tonight to be a real celebration for me. Frankly, I deserve it.

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