My Rebuttal to Obama's School Speech

One of the great things about my job is the opportunity to speak to Americans of all walks of life. Today I was fortunate to get the chance to spend most of the day at Martin Borman Elementary School. I really enjoyed meeting the students and explaining why health care reform would be bad for them and how redistribution of wealth would make some of their mommies and daddies poorer while making others more dependent on the state. I had prepared a rebuttal to President Obama’s speech to the students, but Borman Elementary did not show the speech due to fear of Obama politicizing the event. I still think this speech could be very useful for parents and teachers who want to give the other side equal time.

Hello everyone. I hope you are having a great day. I know that this is your first day of school and whether you’re an eighth grader or a kindergartner you’re probably excited and maybe a little nervous. Don’t be. For one thing, I’ve seen your school’s test scores and frankly they’re not that hot. You are getting a free education at the expense of the taxpayers of this state, but frankly you’re getting what you paid for. Today, all throughout this country students your age are speaking Mandarin and doing chemical experiments that you can’t even comprehend. Someday, you will work for them.

I know that many of you wish that it was still Summer vacation and you could sleep a little later. I know the feeling. When I was a young boy growing up in California, my family was very well to do and there was nothing I enjoyed more than sleeping through the first two or three periods of the school day knowing that the teacher might be disappointed in me, but that my allowance was more than his entire paycheck. I had a heated indoor pool and my own pony. He was driving a 12 year old Buick without air conditioning.

I’m here today because I have something important to discuss with you. I’m here because I want to talk with you about your education and what’s expected of all of you in this new school year. You see, , we can have the most dedicated teachers, the most supportive parents, and the best schools in the world – and none of it will matter for most of you. Look around your homeroom. Do you really think that you’re all going to be doctors and lawyers? Somebody is going to have to press the pants and make the sandwiches for the successful people in the future and that somebody is probably going to be you. Let’s face it, college costs keep escalating and even if you can get the loans to pay for your education, why would you want that kind of debt?

And that’s what I want to focus on today: the futility of your education. Every single one of you has something you’re good at. Maybe you can sing really well or you’re the best player on the basketball team. That doesn’t mean anybody wants to pay to see you do it. It’s great to have a hobby, but just because you can play Guitar Hero doesn’t mean you’re ever going to be able to play a real guitar. It’s complicated.

Maybe you could be a good writer – maybe even good enough to write a book or articles in a newspaper – but you probably won’t get hired to do it. All writing will do is make you an alcoholic and give you a drawer full of rejection letters. Maybe you could be an innovator or an inventor – maybe even good enough to come up with the next iPhone or a new medicine or vaccine – If that’s the case you should really watch Tucker or Flash of Genius and see how corporate America treates innovators. Life is tough kids. I wish I could say it was fair.

And no matter what you want to do with your life – I guarantee that you’ll probably never be happier than you are right now. Being a grownup is a lot of responsibility. You want to be a doctor, or a teacher, or a police officer? You want to be a nurse or an architect, a lawyer or a member of our military? You might as well take advantage of this time to hang out with your friends and play video games because you’ll be working very long hours and never have a chance to really have fun as an adult. You can’t drop out of school and just drop into a good job, but you can buy lottery tickets. Girls, if you’re pretty they are always hiring dancers by the airport.

We need every single one of you to develop your talents, skills and intellect so you can help solve our most difficult problems. If you don’t do that – if you quit on school – you’re not just quitting on yourself, you’re quitting on your country.

Now I know it’s not always easy to do well in school. I know a lot of you have challenges in your lives right now that can make it hard to focus on your schoolwork. I get it. I know what that’s like. I had so many toys I couldn’t possibly play with all of them and work on my homework. Did I mention I had a heated pool? There were times when I felt lonely and felt like I didn’t fit in. You know what I did? I threw a big party and even though people didn’t like me they’d be nice to me so they’d get an invitation.

Some of you might not have those advantages. Maybe you don’t have adults in your life who give you the support that you need. Maybe someone in your family has lost their job, and there’s not enough money to go around. Maybe you live in a neighborhood where you don’t feel safe, or have friends who are pressuring you to do things you know aren’t right. If that’s the case I’m sorry. You will probably be working at a car wash or working the midnight shift at a gas station.

Where you are right now doesn’t have to determine where you’ll end up. No one’s written your destiny for you. They know it, but they’re scared to write it down for fear you’ll lower your expectations for yourself. I personally think that a good healthy dose of realism is just what you as first graders need.

Young kids like you are learning this everyday. Angelis Villenueva is a young girl in my district who came to this country not speaking a word of English. She worked hard in school and graduated number one out of her class of 2500 students despite working after school helping her mother clean the homes of many of her more affluent classmates. Unfortunately, Angelis’s family came to this country illegally and she has no social security number which has made it impossible for her to go to college. She is currently working at a Speedway or will be until I make a phone call to immigration later this afternoon.

That’s why today, I’m calling on each of you to set your own goals for your education – Maybe you’re going to try and drive your teacher crazy. Maybe you’ll decide to make fun of the girl who sits next to you because her parents don’t have much money and she buys all her clothes at Walmart. Maybe you’ll decide to just hang out in the hallways a lot. That’s great.

Some of the most successful people in life have been drop outs. Look at people like Lebron James, Bill Gates, and Konye West. If you get a bad grade that doesn’t mean you’re stupid, it just means that school probably isn’t for you. Well maybe you are stupid, but if you are then school definitely isn’t for you. If you get in trouble, that doesn’t mean you’re a troublemaker it just means that your teacher is picking on you – Probably for no reason. Some people will tell you that you owe it to your family to graduate and that you can’t let your family down, but who knows you better than your family. They expect it. Use your school years well. They’ll always be something you can talk about with your friends at the bar when you don’t want to talk about how miserable your job is.

Thank you, God bless you, and God bless America.

I'm an Author

[From Nate Peele's blog: www.thatsrightnate.com]

Nate Peele: It is always a pleasure to be able to interview Congressman Jack Kimble (R-CA). It’s even a bigger honor today as Congressman Kimble is speaking to promote his new children’s book aimed at the 11-15 year old readership. I am normally not a fan of reading, but in light of President Obama’s attempt to indoctrinate our school children next week, I was interested in Congressman Kimble’s take on school children and politics. Congressman, welcome to the blog.

Congressman Kimble: Thank you Nate. You’re always a great way for me to get my message out. I am very saddened by president Obama’s attempts to address our school children. I think I could solve this whole problem if they would allow me to give a rebuttal like they do on the State of the Union address.

NP: Well, isn’t the President just going to tell the students to study hard and stay in school?

CK: Precisely, I would like equal time. As a country we’re spending way too much money to educate children whose parents will never be able to afford to send them to college. Those students would be much better off dropping out and our tax money could then be used to educate children whose parents have the money to allow them to do something with the education the government is giving them.

NP: Unfortunately, I don’t see that happening.

CK: Me neither. That’s why this book is so important to me.

NP: How did you ever find time to write a book?

CK: It really isn’t difficult. There’s a lot of stuff that goes on in Congress that bores me to tears. Rather than reading a lot of legislation, I’ll skim it or have an aid give me the bullet points. Then I use that time to work on my writing or my fantasy football team. You know I got Drew Brees with the number 11 pick this year. Nobody wants to take quarterbacks in the first round. I was worried that Cantor would go for him, but he took Matt Forte instead.

NP: Now this story is very sobering stuff for a middle school audience. Bethany, the heroine, has her mother die while they’re all on vacation in Canada because she can’t get any medical services. Then when she gets back to this country our government tries to take away her family home because of the inheritance tax.

CK: I actually fought with my publisher on that. I wanted to call it the death tax, but they thought it made the book too dark. I have been going to schools in my district for year’s now lecturing to students on the death tax. They need to know it will impact them someday when their mommy and daddy die and they’re left all alone.

NP: Now is this a true story?

CK: No, I don’t think it takes much talent to tell a story about true things. In the GOP we pride ourselves on our ability to tell stories about things that didn’t happen like the death panels or Obama’s secret army.

NP: Now tell us about Paul?

CK: Everybody wants to know about Paul. He’s just your run of the mill teenager with androgynous and non-threatening good looks. He’s an amazing rock guitarist and he likes to race motorcycles. However, what makes him different is he’s a vampire. As an immortal he’s seen how new social programs keep popping up and how our country keeps moving away from the vision of the founding fathers who he knew personally.

NP: So if he’s this powerful immortal, why does he hang out in a high school?

CK: Well, he’s a tortured soul and he’s an artist and when he sees Bethany he immediately is drawn to her like a moth to a flame, but they have a love nobody can understand.

NP: Well she is like 16 and he’s several hundred years old.

CK: He still looks 16. Anyway, he tells her about conservatism and together they start a movement.

NP: I know you have a lot of Christian support. Aren’t vampires anti-Christian?

CK: Yes, but luckily for Paul, Bethany leads him back to the church.

NP: Wow, it really seems like a lot happens in this book. I would be very happy if you would sign a copy for my daughter Emily. Is the book available through Amazon?

CK: Actually, we’ve had a little problem getting a distributorship. I had a Christian book publisher, but they pulled out after the vampire thing. We’re currently being distributed by American Cartridge Corporation. They’re one of the better ammunition distributors, but this is their first time with a book. You can find The Taxman Comes at Midnight at finer gun shops and gun shows throughout the West Coast region.

NP: I’ll be sure to pick it up. Always a pleasure Congressman.

CK: It’s great being here Nate.

Health Care Town Hall a Huge Success!

I was a little worried when I hosted my town hall meeting on health care yesterday. I had heard a lot about the lunatic fringe who had been disrupting town halls and it made me very grateful I had hired several members of the Hell's Angels motorcycle gang to provide security for the meeting.

The main point of my town hall was to explain to people that health care was too important a decision to be left to ACORN and illegal immigrants like it undoubtedly would be in the Obama plan. Furthermore, I wanted to let my constituents know that I was 100% against killing senior citizens so that we might harvest their organs regardless of what the Obama administration might or might not want. I let my people know that neither myself nor any Republican member of Congress I knew supported:

1. Euthanizing senior citizens in order to harvest their organs
2. Using tax payer money for cosmetic surgery for illegal aliens
3. Using health reform as a backdoor way to a socialist government or slavery reparations
4. Eliminating medicare in favor of hospice care for all Americans over 55

I think that really helped put the many seniors in the audience at ease. Of course, the crazies did come out in full force. When they'd get on mic they'd say things like "I can't afford health care" or "I have a pre-existing condition" or "Why do we spend so much for a health care system that doesn't work?" Fortunately, the Hell's Angels were right on it--shutting them down before they could monopolize the discussion away from more important topics like how President Obama wanted to use this program to stop senior citizens from driving. My favorite was one crazy woman demanding to know what plans I had for covering her family. I told her my plan was for her to get a job. She didn't even laugh at that.

I was most impressed with the patriotic fervor of the crowd. We said the Pledge of Allegiance 8 times and sang the Star Spangled Banner twice. Best of all, I wasn't hung in effigy. I'm very lucky to be representing such a God fearing district and I look forward to serving them for years to come.

The Dangers of Canadian Style Healthcare

[Blogger Nate Peele, from the terrific site www.thatsrightnate.com interviewed me on health care. As a service to my constituents, here is that interview in its entirety.]

As you know, Congressman Jack Kimble (R-CA) has been an occasional contributor to my blog. He’s been very outspoken on Twitter(@RepJackKimble) lately about health care reform and the dangers of a Canadian style socialized medicine. I was lucky enough to be able to arrange a phone interview with Congressman Kimble about this subject that is very important to both of us.

Nate: Thank you for agreeing to this interview congressman. I think your contributions to the blog have really helped give me legitimacy as a blog.

Kimble: Thank you Nate. I’m always happy to talk to the media and with C-Span playing favorites, I’ve had a hard time getting my message out to the people of this United States and to the soldiers who keep this great land of ours safe also.

Nate: Yes, I too would like to say, “support our troops”.

Kimble: Thank you for doing that Nate. It means a lot to me.

Nate: Now, you have some serious problems with Canadian health care I know. I do too. I dated a very beautiful Canadian girl who lived in Canada throughout high school and college. She was pretty enough to be a model and in fact did do some wallet and picture frame work. She was extremely into me and we tried to make the long distance thing work, but I finally had to break up with her because of Canadian health care.

Kimble: Why would you break up with a girl you obviously liked over Canadian health care.

Nate: The problem was every time she’d be coming down to visit me and meet my friends, she’d undoubtedly come down with something and have to cancel at the last moment. It made me look very bad to my friends and that put a terrible strain on my relationship.

Kimble: Actually, that’s not an uncommon story. Especially with attractive young Canadian women and some men.

Nate: I’m going to have to play Obama…I mean devil’s advocate here.

Kimble: :::laughing::: Nice one

Nate: What do you say to people who say that the Canadian health care system is much cheaper than the United States?

Kimble: That’s not quite true. While Americans pay 16% of our GDP for health care, Canadians spend 10.1% of theirs.

Nate: So Canada’s system is considerably cheaper?

Kimble: Not exactly. You see the life expectancy of an American is 77.1 years while in Canada the life expectancy is 80.7 years. That’s 3 extra years of taxes that the average Canadian has to pay for their health care. In the end it very much evens out.

Nate: I hadn’t thought of it that way.

Kimble: You should. It’s not just doctors either. Dentistry in Canada is affected too. Watch an NHL game sometimes and look at how many of the Canadian players are missing teeth.

Nate: Wow, there are a lot. You explanation of the cost imbalance makes a lot of sense, but anybody can present statistics. Do you have any anecdotes to help support your case?

Kimble: Yes, I do. There’s a very brave Canadian woman by the name of Shona Holmes.

Nate: The woman in the commercial with the terminal brain tumor?

Kimble: Actually, she made the brain tumor part up, but anyway at 31 years old she was diagnosed with a Rathke’s Cleft Cyst on her pituitary gland.

Nate: Wow! That sounds serious.

Kimble: It is. A Rathke’s Cleft Cyst is a benign tumor that can cause dizziness and even blindness if it isn’t treated and the Canadians wanted her to wait a month for treatment so she paid $100,000 out of pocket to go to Arizona and get it removed.

Nate: She had to pay out of her own pocket, that’s terrible. How do you explain that 85% of Canadians are happy with their health care system?

Kimble: Would you like the NFL to have 3 downs instead of 4?

Nate: No, of course not.

Kimble: Would you like to eat your french fries with brown gravy or vinegar?

Nate: Not if my life depended on it.

Kimble: How about the metric systme?

Nate: Oh heck no.

Kimble: The Canadians are happy with all of those things.

Nate: Wow, they really aren’t very bright.

Kimble: No they’re not. They make great lumberjacks, defensemen, or mounties, but you sure wouldn’t want to ask one to do math.

Nate: Good point. I know this may be a touchy topic, so you don’t have to answer this, but how do you respond to people who say that the big reason you’re so against socialized medicine is because insurance company lobbyists donate heavily to your campaign?

Kimble: I don’t mind answering. Look, it takes a lot of money to run for office in this country. I get a lot of money from insurance company lobbyists, but I always make it clear up front that it won’t affect my vote. Some of the most despicable people on the planet contribute to my campaign–pay day loan guys, crack dealers, companies that knowingly make defective baby toys. You think I am beholden to all those people?

Nate: Well no of course not, you’d never be reelected.

Kimble: Exactly Nate.

Nate: Thank you for agreeing to this interview congressman.

Kimble: Thank you Nate. You asked some real tough questions. I like that.

Why I Oppose Sotomayor

To the Conservative Blogging Community:

In the House of Representatives, we are a bit separated from the entire confirmation process for Supreme Court Justices. However, we've always got C-Span handy albeit usually to check how we look on the tv. I personally have been working hard on sponsoring a House Bill in response to the Brownback and Landrieu bill currently in the Senate which will forever protect our shores from Koala Men and other animal-human hybrid creatures, but I still have found time to watch the Sotomayor hearings.

I believe with all my heart that the role of a Supreme Court Justice is to be follow the values and principles of our founding fathers. You don't need a fancy law book or even a Constituion to do that. That's why there is no requirement that a Supreme Court Justice be a judge or even a lawyer.

Liberals believe in appointing activist judges who use precedent as a reason for changing things. If you listened to Sotomayor today, she ducked behind every tough question about the firefighter case by claiming precedent. You know who else followed precedent? The pharisees who persecuted Jesus. Is that the role model we want for our Supreme Court Justices? Surely, in the vast history of our country you can find a precedent for anything, but is that how we really want our laws to be interpreted? It seems to me that precedent is just another way for liberals to change the way this country runs. We need non-activist Judges who base their decisions on the values of our founding fathers and not on precedent.

Fortunately, this is not something that we are powerless over. I can tell you from first hand experience that congressmen pay very close attention to emails they receive especially from people who aren't even in their district. If the email is particularly angry or is written anonymously, it is particularly persuassive. You have have an impact on the Senate Judiciary Committee by emailing them anonymously with your displeasure over Sotomayor. If you use exclamation marks and bold or capital letters to make your point so much the better. I don't have a vote on this. For this decision, I'm just an ordinary person like you people. If we are going to get her rejected, it's going to have to come from you.

Sincerely,
Representative Jack Kimble (R-CA)

Rush Limbaugh is Not Our Leader

I have been getting rather fed up lately with people falling for the Democrat strategy of making Rush Limbaugh out to be more than simply a commentator. He is not the leader of the Republican party any more than Keith Olbermann is the leader of the Democrat party. Rush is just an entertainer. None of us take our orders for him, but we do find him entertaining and sometimes quite insightful. I certainly don't take policy points from him.

Messing with Polls Isn't Funny

I noticed some of you liberals thought it was real funny to stack the voting in my poll. Everybody knows that free market capitalism is the best way to improve the economy. I find it really hard to believe that 5 times as many people think Obama style socialism is better. I am not happy about this. I hope you will have the common decency to respect the new poll and not try to stack the voting.