Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Jack Kimble Named House GOP Pledge Chairman

In a highly anticipated move, House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) named 3 term Representative Jack Kimble (R-CA) as the GOP pledge chairman for the 113th Congress. Kimble was Pledge Chairman for the very large 2010 freshman class and he is poised to make a return to the job this term.  

"A lot of times, people look at pledging as a time of heavy binge drinking while being quizzed on Atlas Shrugs, but the truth is, it's also a time where Representatives bond together. If we're to come together as one party, those nights spent out on the lawn in your boxer shorts with your face painted Republican red are important," said Kimble who will be responsible for hazing and educating the female freshmen as well as Jean Schmid of Ohio will not be returning to Congress.

"People wondered why we always were always voting no.  That took a  lot of practice and at least as far as the freshmen are concerned, it's something I take a lot of pride in," said Kimble.

The tradition of pledging new freshmen goes back over 100 years, but really came to the fore under former House Speaker Dennis Hastert who is said to have wrestled every single member elected to Congress for the first time during his tenure. Under Speaker Pelosi, the tradition waned a bit, but Congressman Kimble is aiming to make this a pledge class to remember.

"I felt a bit disappointed that I missed out on Hastert, but there are some old traditions that we have to follow. I've had my staff calling liquor stores, thrift shops, and petting zoos to get everything we need together. A lot of what we do is secret to outsiders, but if you watch C-Span don't be surprised to see a Congressman dressed at Hulk Hogan or Little Bo Peep or a group of freshmen addressing the floor and then singing a Rick Astley song. It'll be a lot of fun for us."

Introducing Kimble as Rush Chairman during a dinner in Statuary Hall in the Capitol, Boehner said through tear-stained eyes that the GOP faces "an epic challenge for the House to stay united.  Sandy will not be the last natural disaster and saying no remains staying united. Fortunately, this is no ordinary freshman class. I feel very confident putting them in the capable hands of Congressman Kimble and look forward to having the freshman serve us at parties throughout the year."

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