Jack Kimble Urges Everyone to Get The Word Out

Running for President can be extremely exhausting. Very few people would fly to Marshalltown, IA on Good Friday for a campaign event at the Made-Rite. It's even worse when people look at that said candidate suspiciously for having a loose meat sandwich on a Friday in Lent when that candidate hadn't eaten all day and got a special dispensation from his pastor before leaving California.

The point is, visibility is going to be a major stumbling block for me this campaign. I know my message will resonate with voters, but in order for that to happen, they have to hear it. Many times, the lamestream media doesn't even include me in Presidential polls. With liberal media bias against our campaign, only we can rise above by getting the word out ourselves. Unfortunately, with so many of my followers living in gated communities even yard signs are less effective than ideal.

There are 4 main sources of fund-raising open to me:
1. Hitting Mom and Dad for Cash
2. Hitting Lobbyists for Cash
3. Asking You for Donations
4. Selling You Things in the Online Store

Now my mom and dad have done their part and the oil lobbyists have been very cooperative. I could simply ask for donations, but that's just cash. I want you to not only generate word of mouth for my campaign, but to have a wonderful souvenir to treasure while you're watching my inauguration on television. Just think how impressed your neighbors would be to see a yard sign like the one pictured above -- Only $10.95 at our campaign store. We have buttons and t-shirts as well to let you show your support in style. I'm doing my part, but without you it won't work. Together we can take back this country and take it way back. You can visit the campaign store by clicking on the Shop link at the top of the page.