Wednesday, April 20, 2011

President Kimble Announces Presidential Run

My Friends,

Only a short month and a half ago, I announced my decision to explore a run for President of the United States. This was not just a statement, but the beginning of a conversation. Since early March, I have talked to everyday Americans--from the courageous Tea Party protester in Madison to the Lobbyist in Washington DC to the senior citizen in California terrified of a government mandated driving test that she has to pass to continue playing in her weekly bridge game.

I see an America still strong in faith and patriotism, but sadly losing her way. There was a time in this country when being from a privileged family, going to the right school, and networking at the right country club was all one needed to have a pretty good life in this country. Sadly, those days are gone.

"These are," to quote Charles Dickens, "the times that try men's souls. They are the best of times. They are the worst of times."

Nowadays, so much money flows into politics, that most politicians can't help but be changed by it. It's time for a candidate who has had money all his life and knows how to resist its temptations. I believe I am that man.

I will make the economy the cornerstone of my campaign. I have already introduced legislation in the House of Representatives to extend full employment benefits to all Americans regardless of age and I will be introducing another bill after Easter Recess that will allow Speaker Boehner to replace state governments in financial trouble with an emergency manager.

My friends, we must move forward, onward, and upward. As part of the greatest country the world has ever known we have achieved greatness and we can believe it again. I am the change you can believe in and I will not let you down as we travel this road to the election. Together, we can make this world a whole lot brighter and we can make this load just a little bit lighter.

So let's continue this conversation. Let's discuss. Let's parlay. Let's rap. Let's verbalize. Let's talk. Together, we can do great things.

God bless this great country! Stay Free America!


  1. At last a candidate I can believe in. Thank you Congressman Kimble for having the courage are heroic founding fathers displayed at Bull Run. God bless America.

  2. The relentless institutional left will be vicious. You are a couragious patriot, Sir!

    Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more!!


    P.S. - I'm not a state, but can I possibly get one of those emergency managers?

  3. Obviously when you say this is the greatest party the world has ever known, you mean to say it's also the greatest party the world WILL EVER KNOW.

    Stay free!

  4. I am a proud Texan (white) and I will be happy to cast my ballot for an American patriot like you, sir. When Columbus landed on Plymouth Rock he had in mind that men like you should rise up from the olive fields and the boardrooms of America and lead us a God-fearing Protestant nation of principle. That time is at hand!

  5. I'm a secular socialist from Madison Wisconsin - the heart of the future and front lines of our political wars at hand - and I'm throwing my hat in with the Texan. I have never seen so much potential for a presidential candidate to reach the hearts of all Americans. You have my full support and would like to know where I can get flyers, pins, bumper stickers and T shirts.

  6. Dear Sir,

    I was just wondering if there is a connection between your glorious decision to run for President and Senator Ensign's surprise resignation? Do I smell a vice presidency floating in the wind of Nevada?


  7. I want to say something intelligent and substantive, but I just can't see past that sexy-a$$ picture. Come hither, Rep. Kimble! Go forth and LEAD!

  8. In response to Steve, Hi! My name is Sharon and I'm a Nevadan. I don't see color either. Chinese people, Mexican people, Norwegian people -- they all look the same to me. ILLEGAL. I happily throw my hate into the ring with Jack Kimble. I'm proud to be his vice presidential partner and to share with him all my winning strategies and mailing lists.

    Power to the People of Americans for Prosperity,
    Sharon A.

  9. Prosperity for Americans sounds great to me. As long as it's prosperity for REAL Americans. Shame on the rest of those blood-sucking working class morons who expect US to pay for their retirement and health care out of our inherited fun money. Eighty years is not too long to work. I mean, working seems like it would be a lot of fun. Keeps 'em young. I'd work, too, except they'd only complain that rich people like me are adding to their competition, right? Finally, I have a candidate who's just like me and not afraid to say it. Also, be sure to save us from that Caliphate Glenn Beck tried to warn us about before those Commies took him off the air.

    -Regina Dubois II of the Shreveport Duboises