I would like to extend my deepest regrets for the actions of some at the Teabagging Demonstration at Shipley Park earlier today. I was thrilled with the large turnout and I was excited to see how much attention the large "Teabagging Demonstration" sign attracted. Unfortunately, it turned out that a lot of people who came to see our demonstration were not actually protesting the stimulus package. I had a feeling something was up when I heard quite a large number of snickers during my speech.
It turns out that unbeknownst to us, teabagging has another meaning than the way we had intended it. In fact it has a very filthy and disgusting definition. Evidently, people saw the "Teabagging Demonstration" and thought we were actually going to do it. It is a real shame that the actions of a few perverts ruined the efforts of a bunch of good people to stand up to wasteful spending in this country.
I have also been informed that the teabagging shirts we were giving away were actually about the other kind of teabagging. We have destroyed over 100 offending t-shirts and we would ask that anybody who has either the t-shirt we were selling or the "Congressman Kimble's Teabagging Team" bumper sticker we were giving away to please return them to our office.