What's a Few Billion Dollars Between Friends?

My buddy Paul Ryan (R-WI) is a bit of a nerd. While the rest of us were playing cards over at Jim Jodan's (R-OH) place, Paul is like cranking out this thing. He keeps calling in from the kitchen and asking us, "do we want to cut this or do we want to cut that?" I'm drawing an inside straight and Bill Cassidy (R-LA) is already mouthing off about the way I play cards. You don't backtalk a Baton Rouge gambler either cause he'll stick you.

Anyway, the game is going great and all of a sudden Paul's like, "I finished the whole damn thing. This is like the most killer budget ever."

At first we were all, "Shut up Ryan! We're trying to play cards", but I have to admit I'm really proud that we produced this budget. Not only does it include some nice tax cuts like the kind that had guided us to prosperity over the past 8 years before you know who became the President, but if you look at that chart, we are so kicking his budget's ass in 2035. That's the best thing about being home for these couple weeks. If I was in Washington, I'd have a staffer telling me I can't type the word "ass".

Anyway, the White House was not happy when we put out our own budget. They were like telling us that making a budget was really complicated and we'd never figure it out, but we showed them. That's how we kick it GOP style.